Photo for today:
The neighbor-across-the-street-and-over-a-house’s pear tree is in bloom and it’s BEAUTIFUL. I didn’t use to be such a Springtime loving person, but walking through the wooded trails (when they were still safe) by the old apartments really made me appreciate the beauty of Springtime.
I am still processing the way The Talk with Amber went down yesterday. And while I’m extremely proud that in the moment, I was able to see the manipulation and gas-lighting coming from a mile away and thus was able to properly and safely disengage from it and not feed the fires she was attempting to fan….I’m so beyond incredibly pissed.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a Scorpio. Manipulation is second-nature to me. But I try really hard NOT to manipulate unless absolutely necessary. Hell, I don’t have the energy or the desire to manipulate most of the time. ::chuckles:: I’m just incredibly blunt and tell ya what I need. ::shrugs:: And honestly, I wish more people were like that.
But the crap Amber was pulling? ::shakes her head:: Almost made me physically ill when I recognized the behavior as the same shit Ken used to pull on me ALL the time. And once the impulse to throw up passed, the rage washed over me and I had to fight the impulse to unleash hell upon her. But instead, I shut down emotionally. I was the most coldhearted, unflinching Ice Queen to ever walk this earth for that hour Amber played out her hand. And I didn’t budge.
Right out of the gate in The Talk she lobbed the whole “You are picking on me. I want to transfer to another campus” grenade at me, expecting me to back down and coddle her and stroke her ego. Instead, I said if that’s how she really felt, then I would be happy to put in the word to our supervisor to aid Amber in her transfer. ::chuckles:: And then she saying “I’m not a terrible person” over and over. And I’m sitting there thinking to myself, “I never said you were” and that’s when it all clicked and I shut down.
So I emailed the write up to my Boss, and gave her a heads up that Amber had said she’d contact Gail about the whole situation. And I told Gail as well that Amber had mentioned wanting to transfer and that while I would be happy to keep her, as long as she made the required changes outlined in the write up, I would however support Amber’s decision in that matter. ::laughs::
All joking aside though, I really wish I had thought to record the entire conservation. With a manipulator and a gas-lighter, I kind of need proof of what all was said because she will twist the facts to suit her needs. I need to write down the entire conversation and keep it with the write up as well, just in case.
But I am happy to report that she did much better today in making the changes I outlined for her, so there is at least that.
The neighbor-across-the-street-and-over-a-house’s pear tree is in bloom and it’s BEAUTIFUL. I didn’t use to be such a Springtime loving person, but walking through the wooded trails (when they were still safe) by the old apartments really made me appreciate the beauty of Springtime.
I am still processing the way The Talk with Amber went down yesterday. And while I’m extremely proud that in the moment, I was able to see the manipulation and gas-lighting coming from a mile away and thus was able to properly and safely disengage from it and not feed the fires she was attempting to fan….I’m so beyond incredibly pissed.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a Scorpio. Manipulation is second-nature to me. But I try really hard NOT to manipulate unless absolutely necessary. Hell, I don’t have the energy or the desire to manipulate most of the time. ::chuckles:: I’m just incredibly blunt and tell ya what I need. ::shrugs:: And honestly, I wish more people were like that.
But the crap Amber was pulling? ::shakes her head:: Almost made me physically ill when I recognized the behavior as the same shit Ken used to pull on me ALL the time. And once the impulse to throw up passed, the rage washed over me and I had to fight the impulse to unleash hell upon her. But instead, I shut down emotionally. I was the most coldhearted, unflinching Ice Queen to ever walk this earth for that hour Amber played out her hand. And I didn’t budge.
Right out of the gate in The Talk she lobbed the whole “You are picking on me. I want to transfer to another campus” grenade at me, expecting me to back down and coddle her and stroke her ego. Instead, I said if that’s how she really felt, then I would be happy to put in the word to our supervisor to aid Amber in her transfer. ::chuckles:: And then she saying “I’m not a terrible person” over and over. And I’m sitting there thinking to myself, “I never said you were” and that’s when it all clicked and I shut down.
So I emailed the write up to my Boss, and gave her a heads up that Amber had said she’d contact Gail about the whole situation. And I told Gail as well that Amber had mentioned wanting to transfer and that while I would be happy to keep her, as long as she made the required changes outlined in the write up, I would however support Amber’s decision in that matter. ::laughs::
All joking aside though, I really wish I had thought to record the entire conservation. With a manipulator and a gas-lighter, I kind of need proof of what all was said because she will twist the facts to suit her needs. I need to write down the entire conversation and keep it with the write up as well, just in case.
But I am happy to report that she did much better today in making the changes I outlined for her, so there is at least that.
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