Sunday, September 29, 2019

New Moon

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September new moon signals that it’s time to recharge and re-bless my medicine bundle. And I love that this medicine pouch is so old and so well loved, that you can see the outline/imprint of the spirit helper that lives in the pouch in the leather itself.

New moon is also the time I making offers to my Beloved Dead, to feed them and continue the connection between us. I’m trying out a new incense that I got as a sampler with one of my orders. We’ll see how the Ancestors like it. I’ll also be cutting one of the roses from my rosebush to put on my altar for them as well.

I have been working in Sharmila’s journal and one of the art journals I have laying around the house today. I REALLY like how 2 of the pages have turned out in Sharmila’s journal. I’m playing with paint and blending and having a BLAST. I’m hoping she’ll let me keep the journal a little past the mail out date, so I can take it to Atlanta, Georgia at the end of October. I’m sure I can find some cool things in that city to add to the journal. ::smiles::

And yes, the Atlanta road trip is a GO! Woohoo! I’ll get to meet a long-time journaling buddy and hopefully a pen pal friend along the way. Honestly, I’m just ready to get out of Texas for a bit. I plan to hit up some of the Pagan stores in Atlanta, and see another journaling buddy as well that I got to meet the last time I did a long road trip (from here to Delaware and back…..such a long road trip). Plus, I get to go to the Melting Pot with Annie – it’s her favorite place to eat and I’ve never been, so I figured that would be a great place to do dinner one night. ::smiles:: I’m seriously STOKED about this trip.

I am officially on sabbatical from the Coven until November. Seems this is the best time for me to take a sabbatical – there are no classes and I already wasn’t going to the public ritual. So the month of October is 100% mine and already it feels like a weight has been lifted. And then I get to come back in time for the Coven Retreat in November. Seriously looking forward to that as well. ::smiles::

Roses

written:  September 28

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Look at this amazing bouquet my rose bush was hiding away! ::chuckles:: She’s happy once again and making a TON of blossoms. I might actually try my hand at making rose beads next month. I do need to dry some to send with Sharmila’s journal when it’s time to mail it back to her. She asked for some a while back and I just didn’t get around to it. But luckily, I knew I would get another chance, and it’s come around now.

I did end up emailing the High Priestess last night, saying I needed to take a break for the month of October. I’ll focus on getting all of my coven assignments done and turned in during that time frame. And just relax. I need some calm and quiet in my life. I’m an introvert and I need that time to recharge.

Hell, I was supposed to do Tarot & Tea with Hazel Nut and a friend today, and I ended up canceling that as well. I just couldn’t do anything outside the house. Though, I did read the Tarot for hubs. Looks like he’s in for some turbulent times in the next few weeks, but as long as stays true to himself, his ethics, and his path, he’ll come out better on the other side of it.

Me? I was reminded to spend more time being creative and to remember that there is always light at the end of the tunnel. I just have to keep going. Seriously needed to hear that.

Kick in the Teeth Revisited

written:  September 27

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One of my small feather collections under the watchful gaze of Sekhmet.

I know I say it every time I share a photo of that painting by Kimberly S., but damn…that is an AMAZING portrait. Maybe one of these days I’ll get her to do one of the Harpies for me as well. Maybe one of the Wolf Mother as well. ::smiles:: I would love nothing more than to have a whole wall of amazing art done by friends.

While it wasn’t as shitty as Monday was, today was a VERY rough day at work. So the new standing rule is that there has to be two teachers at least wherever the BIC student is. He went to the gym with 5 other students later on in the day and ended up bolting down the hallway. I had to sprint to catch up with him and keep him in my sight. I texted my boss about it and that our BIC aide had already left for the day. So now the boss is going to see if the BIC aide can stay the whole time. I’m just so over this song and dance. And we are only a month or so into the school year. This is insane.

But dinner at 5 Guys Burgers was amazing.
I was so exhausted and worn out from the work day that I ended up heading to bed at 9:30 pm (which is EARLY for me). I just needed to sleep.

Defense

written:  September 26

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Not the best photo ever, but I was so happy to capture this shot with my good camera. One of the neighborhood crows was chasing off a Red-tailed Hawk. In this shot, the hawk had rolled onto its back to fend off the attack. But seriously, I need to get a better telephoto lens for my camera. I know there are places that you can rent lenses, so I should check into that and test out a few to figure out what I want…and to see how much I need to start saving towards that lens of my dream. ::chuckles::

Other than that, it was just a quiet day at work. Just the standard kid craziness and nothing too terribly wild. Thank god for that.

I did email Nicki to see what she needed me to do for the ritual. She wants some sort of invocation/honoring to the Ancestors, as it is Samhain. So I’ll do that.

Crazy Old Lady Dreams

written:  September 25

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Some fabulous, creative artwork by Kimberly C. (one of my students). It’s an envelope with my initials on it that she colored for me. ::smiles::

Still burnt out. Though, thankfully, yesterday and today were pretty good days at work.

I’m questioning staying with the Coven. I’m just so, so, so close to a mental break down and any “extra” stress is something I’ve got to cut out. Me and the other two students are supposed to be working together on the public Samhain ritual, but I just can’t even bring myself to email Nicki and ask what she needs me to do. Like…I just CAN’T. And I LOVE the Coven, so that’s just showing me how thin I’m stretched out right now.

Christie, a library and larp buddy, posted on FB that she had some Pagan related questions that she’d love to ask another Pagan. I told her I’m always up for a good Pagan discussion and to feel free to message me about it. And I had a BLAST chatting with her about deities, grappling with the fact that we don’t have a set plan/path in Paganism, mixing pantheons, and just general “lost” feelings we all get on this Path from time to time.

Seriously, I would love nothing more than to be that crazy old lady that lives at the edge of the forest. Who talks to trees and plants and wildlife. Who dances in the rain and under the moon. And who can counsel new witches/pagans whenever they need it.

DNA

written:  September 24

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Interesting how there are white splashes among the red.

I posted this photo of FB and Hazel Nut posted that the white was due to cross pollination. ::smacks her forehead:: That’s just not how that shit works. And man, she stuck to her guns until I typed up this explanation:

“There are other causes for changes in the flowers. But they are fully formed with all of their DNA currently intact, so there’s no way pollen would change that particular blossom. Any seeds coming from that blossom could very well be different colors or striped/spotted.

To put it in crude terms, it’s the same reason porn stars don’t change just because they take a money shot in the face. They are already fully formed and have all of their DNA. Introducing foreign DNA (which, honestly, it’s only HALF the DNA that is required to create a new being), doesn’t change them at all. Now, if they were to get pregnant (mixing the two DNAs), then yes, the child would look like a mixture of the two adults.”

Please don’t try to out science me on these things on the most basic level. 9 times out of 10, I’ll win just because I’m a walking encyclopedia of good trivia. ::chuckles::

I’m still burnt the fuck out from yesterday. I just want people to leave me the fuck alone right now. So yeah, I probably wasn’t as polite as I could have been to Hazel Nut, but come on. She really thought bees pollinating a fully formed flower would change the genetic makeup of said flower????

I just need the world to stop spinning for 24 full hours. 24 full hours of QUIET. Is that too much to ask?

Monday, September 23, 2019

Kick in the Teeth

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Fabulous artwork by one of my awesome students.

Today started off well enough. I had my appointment with my doctor. She did lay the information on me that “normal” range for thyroid antibodies count is 9 or less. My count? ONE HUNDRED TWELVE! Can my body PLEASE stop being so damn dramatic??? ::sighs:: So yeah, I will be getting the gluten sensitivity testing done this week, along with another range of thyroid testing. So other than dreading seeing the vampires again, it wasn’t that bad of a day.

And then I went to work. And it rapidly went downhill. And then it dug a hole to China. And continued to roll downhill. ::sighs::

I don’t want to go into it all. But I ugly cried the whole drive home. And then cried some more once I was home. Like full on, mental break down.

The good thing to come out of all of this? I’ve said fuck it and have started applying for the part-time library jobs. I’ll figure bills and health insurance out when I get there. But I need OUT of the shit-show that the after school program is, for my own mental sanity. I’ve updated my LinkedIn profile and have said my prayers to Divinity for help on this.

Glorious Day

written:  September 22

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Oh blessed day! The sun spot has returned for Josey! This is a very happy lil sun-worshipping puppers!

Ok, Stomach Plague of Epic Doom appears to have been vanquished. But I’m not taking any risks. I’m taking it super easy and just relaxing and focusing on recovering from it as best I can. As much as I would like to NOT go to work tomorrow, I really can’t afford to miss many more days. And I’m already taking the 30th off, to celebrate my 10th anniversary with my husband.

Stomach Plague of DOOM

written:  September 21

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The only reason I survived the stomach plague today is due to this mini a/c unit.

I have never had a stomach bug even HALF as bad as this one was.

Leviathan Visit

written:  September 20

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Had a lot of fun with Leviathan up at work today. I was half-way tempted to send it to my boss and tell her what a great time we were having. ::chuckles:: The kids were so great today and so many of their photos with Leviathan turned out amazing. Like seriously amazing.

I will be sending those photos to their parents and asking if I have their permission to share the photos with my boss. If I share them with my boss, they’ll go up on our after school program’s Twitter and/or Facebook, so I have to have that in writing for me to even begin to feel comfortable doing that. But I hope a lot of them say yes, just because those photos are too damn cute. ::laughs::

I swear my memory is going to shit. I damn near left Leviathan up at work. I was half way out to my car when I remembered that she was still in my office. ::shakes her head::

Thursday, September 19, 2019

Gamme

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My mom sends the coolest stuff. She sent me another set of the T-Rex stamps and a peacock feather she found when she was down visiting my brother. And she sent a lovely lil note that I’ll put in my journal for sure.

So a bit more on the Big Project that I’m planning for the next year. I watched a video on YouTube by Freyia Norling about her Gamme – “Where I do my rituals and why: My Gamme”. In a nutshell, the Gamme is the spiritual house of the Saami people. Traditionally they are tipi shaped, but made of wood and stone and covered with sod so they blend in with the country side. And it got me to thinking…I want a Gamme…or at least my own version of it.

And my room is big enough, that honestly, I could build something along those lines inside (mostly due to how friggin HOT it gets here, along with all the damn mosquitoes). I’ve seen tons of DIYs about making tents/tipis for kids out of PVC pipes. So that’s my plan – to make a “tent” of some sort in my room. The sides will be made of canvas that I can paint with holy symbols. And inside, I can have furs and cushions to sit on. I plan to get a nice slab of wood that I’ll create an altar space.

The desk/altar I currently have will be a working altar. A practical witchcraft working area. But the Gamme…it will be the actual ritual space. It will be the space the Gods and Spirits and Ancestors will be welcome in. I’m seriously excited about this. And it’s a huge undertaking, as I’ll be doing all the work myself. Not to mention, it requires me to finally clear out the “art table (aka dumping ground)” to make room for this, which is no small feat in and of itself. But I’m super pumped and can’t wait to get started on this big project.

Cupcakes & Plans

written:  September 18

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Dinner of champions. ::chuckles::

All in all, it was a pretty good day at work. The kiddos were in good spirits and good moods, so that always makes a HUGE difference. But man, I did NOT want to be there for the bulk of the day.
I found another Library job in a near-by city that I’ve applied for. Not holding my breath, but hey, I gotta try.

I’ve decided to completely scrap my tradition of making up a list of goals on my birthday – one for each year I’ve been alive (so it would have been 38 goals for my 38th year). Instead, I have a BIG project that I want to accomplish instead. So, instead, I’m planning on breaking this big project into bite-size pieces to be accomplished each month. By the end of the year, it should be complete.

Roses & Evals

written:  September 17

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A lil rose on my rose bush. Like I’ve mentioned before, this summer has been utterly BRUTAL on my plants. But I’m thrilled to see my rose bush is still fighting the good fight and she’s got a handful of buds that will be blooming later on this month.

I had my psych eval today and it went soooooo much better than I thought it would. The intake nurse was super friendly and non-judgmental, even on the bad stuff, which is always nice. She didn’t even blink when I told her I am Pagan when she asked what my religion is. And honestly, I’m kind of shocked at myself for being open about that. I’ve been in the broom closet most of my life and typically only share the details of my spirituality with a select few.

The intake nurse recommends the middle level tier of therapy, which is five days a week, from 9 am to 4 pm. Mostly because I would get to see a psychiatrist during that time. But yeah, I don’t really want to do that. So I’m looking at the next level down, which is group therapy three days a week for about 3 hours. But even that…I don’t really care to do group therapy. She did give me some resources for psychiatrists and therapists in my city, so I may look into that.

Signs & Names

written:  September 16

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David told me he found the perfect sign for me. ::chuckles:: It’s hanging in our kitchen. And I love it..

Returning to the topic of my Athame (witch’s ritual blade), after having her for 15+ years now…I think I have finally found her name. I like to name my tools. It gives them an energy solely their own. And yes, I do call them by name to wake them up for ritual use. So yeah, I think I have finally figured out my athame’s name. I’ll do a ritual at some point to officially link the name to her.

And no, I don’t share those names. I’m highly protective of the spiritual names of things. Names have power. And Spiritual Names name the core essence of a thing. So yeah, I VERY rarely, if ever, share those types of names.

Monday, September 16, 2019

Teamwork. Ha!

written:  September 15

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This is the newest addition to our Spooky Town set up – a Haunted Library! Perfect, seeing as how I just finished up my library degree.

Class and ritual were pretty good. Class was all about planning for the up-coming Samhain public ritual. And the High Priestess chastised us for the lack of communication between the students for this ritual. It was mostly directed at Elisa because she didn’t do shit. Like seriously. Nicki came up with the ritual. I decorated the altar, wrote the goddess and god calls (Elisa was supposed to write the god call), and made the set of Witches Runes. Elisa brought pens. That’s it.

BUT. It was a good ritual. We got a lot of positive feedback from the Coven on it. ::smiles:: I just hate doing “group writing” projects. Let me write the ritual 100% by myself and I’m happy. ::chuckles:: But that’s just how I prefer to do most things.

Quiet Day

written:  September 14

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My High Priestess expressed interest in seeing my athame after I wrote about it in my Magickal Tools homework. And I figured since I was getting my Blade out to soak up some much needed moon energy, I would just go ahead and photograph my Blade as well. She’s a beast. She’s a good 12 inches long or so. Her handle is made of buffalo horn and her blade is Damascus steel. I’ve written about her before and shared photos of her before. She truly is the tool of my soul, with my bone wand coming in a close second. Both are soaking up the full moon energy currently.

Today was a much needed, much deserved quiet day at home. I needed the break and the reset today gave me. I was just way over-stimulated and way burnt out this week.

So today, I just relaxed at home. We enjoyed one of the mini cakes for David’s birthday (back on the 12th). I focused on getting caught back up with my daily journaling.

Friday the 13th

written:  September 13

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My silly puppers laying out in the middle of the yard to get some extra sun. I have never seen such a sun-worshipping dog as Josey-pup.

Today was…brutal. We didn’t have our BIC aide. And our BIC student had a rough day. And then one of my runners took off. And Kaitlyn (aide), just sat and colored with some students…head down. Completely unaware of everything going on around her. ::sighs:: I’m really tired of having all these Coming-Jesus meetings with my staff. I NEED them to start stepping up and taking more charge with the students. It can’t constantly fall to me and Jess.

I got the call from my doctor’s office about my thyroid scan…during one of my student’s meltdowns. So once I got the kiddo calmed down and the report written up about it, I called them back. And sat on hold for a good while. Good news – no thyroid cancer. Like I didn’t even know that was something we were looking at? But, hey, I’ll take any good news at this point. I do have a few small nodules on my thyroid. So yeah, they want me to come in and do some more blood work. Good thing I haven’t done the gluten sensitivity testing yet. So I guess sometime next week I’ll go visit the vampires again and get all of those tests done. And I’ll be sure to hydrate and eat before doing said blood test. I have no desire to faint again. That was NO fun.

And then my mom was calling me at work – during student melt down #4 or #5. I honestly can’t remember at this point. So yeah, I called her on the way home AFTER work because there was just no way I could call her at work, after spending 30 minutes on the phone with my doctor. But we are good to go to see Oprah speak in February. Woohoo for that! I’m rather excited about that.

By the time I got home, I was operating on full mental melt down. I’m honestly surprised I didn’t just come home and hide under a blanket and cry. And it’s not even like today was really that TERRIBLE. It’s just that the whole week has been rough, and it just snowballed to today, and I hit my breaking point. Hell, I didn’t even want to leave the house to get 5 Guys Burgers, that’s how DONE I was.

But, I did send a copy of our student roster to our Spec Ed lead. They have some plans for some of my students that aren’t BIC level, but the kiddos still need some modifications. I’m hoping to set up a meeting for Monday to get that documentation. Because, I’m going to SHOW Esmeralda (my supervisor) how much we are dealing with and that we DESPERATELY need another aide. It doesn’t have to be a BIC or Spec Ed aide. We just need another PERSON who can be there for the entire after school program hours.

I am seriously worried about when it’s finally cool enough that we can take the students to the playground. I have 3 runners – one of which is my BIC kiddo. I have 3 other Spec Ed kiddos that we have to keep an eye on and two that have to be reminded to go to the bathroom every hour so they don’t have bathroom accidents. And THEN I have all my normie kiddos. It’s just a LOT to handle.

Birthday

written:  September 12

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Picked up a Red Velvet and a Confetti buntlet cakes from Nothing Bundt Cakes today for David’s birthday.

David got up early to go to the DMV to renew his driver’s license. I had my thyroid scan. I swung by Nothing Bundt Cakes to pick up the two cakes. I came home, hung up his two birthday banners, wrapped the gift my mom bought for him, and got it all set up.

We did dinner at Texas Roadhouse. I had The Best ™ ribs I think I’ve ever had. Just falling off the bone and a TON of meat on them. Sooooo good.

But we were too stuffed to have cake when we got home. Oh well, there’s always tomorrow! ::laughs::

One Step Forward...

written:  September 11

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My goofy sleepy, smiling Josey puppers. She seriously looks high as a kite. ::laughs:: I was cracking up when I looked over at her and saw this face.

I was supposed to have my thyroid scan today, but the place called to reschedule. The lady on the phone was so apologetic. Man, I’m fine with it, because I got to sleep in. ::laughs:: I’ll be doing the scan tomorrow instead.

Our new BIC aide started today. Esmeralda (supervisor) came out to discuss what the expectations are. And to be honest, I’m pissed. Basically, Esmeralda wants the BIC aide to teach us how to work with our BIC student, and once we “master” that, then the BIC aide won’t work with us anymore. Are you shitting me? ::sighs:: To be honest, it pissed me off…but it doesn’t surprise me one bit.

Seriously, I NEED a damn library to fucking hire me already.

Growth

written:  September 10

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This summer has been beyond brutal to my poor plants. But the crepe myrtle is putting out new growth and even blooming again. Even my rose bush is budding out again, so I might get another round of blooms of her as well.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Seems fitting that I spent the morning mentally compiling a time-line of my mental health and trauma for my upcoming Eval. Luckily (if you can say that), I’ve done more than my fair share of mental health evals, so I know what they are going to be asking. Now I just have to actually WRITE them down and have them ready to go next week. I’m sure I’ll write it all down the night before the Eval, because that’s just how I roll. ::chuckles::

Monday, September 9, 2019

Journals

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An AMAZING gift from my pen pal, Wendy, that literally just arrived on my doorstep. She cross-stitched the Scorpio scorpion and included the awesome Time magazine with GODZILLA! Talk about blowing me away! It’s so friggin’ awesome. I’ll be hanging the scorpion up in my room…maybe above Leviathan’s tank. And I know the Godzilla magazine will get cut up so I can use the artwork in my journals.

Speaking of journals…I just realized that I left my journal up at work. ::sighs:: I’m not worried about anyone finding it and reading it. I’m just bummed that I won’t get to write in it first thing in the morning. I like how that’s become a habit. But the notepad I write my pen pal letters on should be roughly the same size, so I can write on that and then glue it in. I just hate not having my journal on me. I feel friggin’ naked without it.

And in OTHER journal news, Sharmila’s journal arrived today. I’m super stoked to get to work in it again. This is the last journal in the swap, so once it’s done, all the journals return to their owners. I’m excited to see what the participants have created in my journal. Since I have to mail some rubber stamps to a friend up in Canada, I’m hoping I can get the post office to do a cancellation stamp in Sharmila’s journal. Fingers crossed that they will do that. If not, there’s another local post office that I’ll hit up and see if they are nicer. ::chuckles::

Josey had her cardiologist appointment today. She’s fine. Her heart is fine. Apparently she just doesn’t do well under anesthesia. Which, man, I know how that goes. I don’t do well with that shit either! ::laughs::

Silver Bullet

written:  September 08

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Bit the bullet (hahaha) and picked up a Leuchtturm metallic silver 1917 journal to use as my first official honest-to-god Bullet Journal. Keeping an honest-to-god bullet journal is on my goals for my next year, so I figured this would be a good way to ensure I keep with it. It’s hard to tell in the photo, but it’s damn near reflective, it’s so metallic. I love it.

Pretty good day – super productive after my not-so-productive Saturday. ::chuckles:: I got all the stuff I needed for work typed up and printed out. I also printed out the paper ravens I will be using for our Coven full moon ritual next weekend. I also finally did laundry (and put away most of it), along with changing the sheets on the bed AND vacuuming.

Sunday, September 8, 2019

Panic

written:  September 07

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My Witches Runes, chillin’ in their charging basket with a fabulous clear crystal quartz wand on top (to amplify the energy).

It was a pleasant, quiet day spent at home. David is working the weekend shift, so mostly me and Josey just lounged around and I successfully avoided doing any of the tasks I need to do for work by Monday. ::chuckles:: Oh well, there’s always tomorrow.

I did take the call from the mental health resources that my doctor requested for me. I have an evaluation on the 17th. After talking to the lady and getting that appointment set up, I made the mistake of googling the place and reading the reviews. It has an adult in-patient facility, which triggered my massive fear of being involuntarily committed. I’m talking, I was border-line hyperventilating and scared absolutely shit-less. And the reviews for the in-patient facility were horrifying. Nothing that is actual abuse, but a whole lot of neglect and stories of family members fighting to get their person OUT.

I bombarded Annie with messages, inquiring about involuntary commitment and basically just panic flailing at her. Goddess bless her, she was able to tell me what I already rationally knew and get me to do a bit of research into the laws for my state regarding involuntary commitment. Like seriously, she talked me down off my panic ledge and not once belittled my fears/panic one bit. And that is a massive blessing and I’m deeply grateful for that.

Friday

written:  September 06

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It’s damn near impossible to photograph this and get the colors right. But it’s this year’s hatch-day card for Leviathan. Trust me, they are much more gorgeous in person.

Finally it’s FRIDAY. Thank all that is holy for that. Granted, it was a short week, since we had Monday off. And the students were actually pretty damn good, all things considered. But I’m just so burnt out and I desperately need my weekends to recharge. Luckily, I have NOTHING planned for this weekend other than standard household chores and a bit of work for the after school program.
Rileigh B. (student) and I have been doing Zentangles up at work. That’s been quite a bit of fun. She also likes the little doodles I include in my daily journal and has been trying her hand at drawing them. I am honest about them, that I find them on the internet and trace them into my journal. ::chuckles:: But I definitely want to start drawing my own eventually.

I know I’m a couple of months early, but I’ve already begun working on my 38 goals for my 38th year. I saw a cool video on YouTube about tracking 101 Goals in 1001 days in a bullet journal, and I want to use that for my birthday goals. Step one is to come up with 38 goals that I think I can reasonably accomplish in the next year. Which is harder than it sounds at times. ::chuckles:: And I kind of want to rework my 101 Goals as well. But that will have to wait until I’m done with my birthday goals.

Hatch-Day

written:  September 05

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My plumbago loved the rain we got a while back. She’s blooming like crazy. So pretty!

Today is Leviathan’s 13th hatch-day! I fed her on Monday, so she’s currently happily curled up in her tank in a lovely food coma.

I’ve been doing daily journaling in my notebook. It’s been ages since I’ve done actual, physical journal writing. I love it. I love the look of the words on the page – page after page. I’ve been adding in small doodles that go with the day and seriously, I’m LOVING it.

Thursday, September 5, 2019

Puzzle

written: September 04

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My students finally finished this 500-piece puzzle today. They’ve been working diligently on it for the past few days now. I’m pretty sure this is one of the puzzle’s Ali donated back when she worked on our campus. Jess also picked up a few new ones for us as well – I need to pay her back for that as soon as possible. It’s one thing for me to buy things for the campus out of pocket, but I don’t want my staff doing that. I make a crap-ton more an hour than they do.

This is one of the FEW things my Spec Ed kiddo LOVES and it’s a great motivator for him to follow the rules. His dad’s offered to buy a few more of the bigger puzzles, with over a thousand pieces. You know I am jumping on that like a fat kid on a cupcake. My other students love doing the puzzles too. And the bigger the challenge, the bigger the bragging rights they get when they finally put it all together. It definitely fosters teamwork, though I do have to keep an eye on them when they start getting stressed out over it. ::chuckles::

Official

written:  September 03

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My diploma finally arrived! Woohoo! I was starting to get worried, seeing as how I was given notification that I had graduated back in July. Guess I had to wait until the full summer session had come to a close before they would issue out diplomas. I’m just happy to finally have it in my hands. Now I have to decide if I want it framed or not, and how expensive I’m willing to go with the framing. I still need to send my feather to Whispering Tears and have her bead the quill. I definitely want that done.

Work was a surprisingly easy day. I mean, one kid did end up with quite the knot and bruise on her cheekbone, but it was an accident. So no behavior issues and the kids were in good moods. Such a rare combination, especially with how they’ve been thus far this school year. But I ain’t complaining. It was damn near magical. It certainly made being at work easier, since I REALLY didn’t want to be there. I dunno. I just didn’t want to be there. Though I did get to play one round of Uno with 3 of my students, so that was super enjoyable.

I’m just over the whole after school program at this point. I’m burnt the fuck out on it. I wish I had staff from previous years and Jess. The whole process would be so much better. But there’s no sense in wishing for that because it is not going to happen. Instead, I need to begin working on my current staff to make them better. I just don’t have the motivation to do it. ::chuckles::

Cool thing – last night, as I was charging my Witches Runes, I could actually FEEL the energy/magick in my hands. I’m typically pretty energy “deaf”. Some people have the ability to easily feel and/or see energy. I’m not one of those people. But last night, as I pulled in moon energy and directed it into the Runes, I could feel my hands getting hotter and hotter. It was so cool! Now that I can feel something, I can really start practicing in earnest with manipulating and directing energy. I used to just have to have faith that it was doing what I was wanting it to do. But now that I can FEEL it, I can start learning what does and does not work for me specifically. This will open up so many more magickal practices to me. I’m really excited about this.

Feedling Leviathan

written:  September 02

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Leviathan’s meal tonight. I used to get her Gourmet Rodents, but these are individually packaged, so they don’t get freezer burn, so I get these instead. Besides, who can resist the cute little box the mice come in? ::laughs::

David had expressed an interest in seeing how I feed Leviathan, in case there was ever a situation in which he would need to feed her. So he actually came and watched Leviathan strike and coil on the mouse – no worries. I always use tongs to feed her just because her aim isn’t always that great. ::laughs:: And I’d rather not get bit, even so I’m sure it wouldn’t be too terribly painful. He was rather impressed with how quick Leviathan’s strike is and the force this little serpent has. Her looks are quite deceiving. ::chuckles::

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Coven Class

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One of my cards I drew today. This one is from the Sacred Circle Tarot.

Class tonight was good. Just to show how out of touch Elisa is, she thought we were doing our Full Moon ritual tonight. ::sighs:: Oh well. That’s on her. It’s just exhausting. But me and Nicki have a great ritual lined up and set up. We’ll be good to go on September 15th. All Elise has to do it invoke and dismiss the god and bring her incense. Nicki and I have everything else covered.

When I got home, I anointed all 13 of my Witches Runes, individually, with anointing oil and blessed and charged them under the barest sliver of the moon gracing the sky. I plan to bless and charge them each night by the light of the moon for the next 12 days. I think it’s fitting to spend 13 days blessing these Runes AND that it will culminate on Friday, the 13th, on a full moon. ::smiles::

I created a document with all the Witches Runes and their meanings. I’ll print it out tomorrow and then copy it onto cardstock, to make it a bit sturdier. I plan to take it to the ritual. The participants will pull a Rune out of the bag, write down the symbol and then place the Rune back in the bag. This way everyone will have a fair turn at pulling the Rune that is meant for them. Then I’ll pass around the information sheet so everyone can write down the meaning of each Rune. These pieces of paper with their Runes on it, they’ll take home and place by their bed. Hopefully their dreams will provide more information for them. Or at least, that’s the goal. ::chuckles::

I am still hammering out some details with Nicki about how we will set up the altar. She’s definitely pitching in and pulling her own weight with decorating the altar.

Motivated

written:  August 31

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I may touch-up a few of these, but for the most part my Witches Runes are done. Now I just have to bless and consecrate them. Seeing as how tonight is the New Moon, I will begin that tonight. I plan to charge them each evening, leading up to the Full Moon ritual with the Coven. I think that will be a great way to break them.

I’ve also painted the last two pages I plan to do in Dorene’s journal. And I’ve written and turned in my invocation for the goddess Hecate. And since we still haven’t heard a peep out of Elisa, so I went ahead and also wrote an invocation to the god Morpheus. Plus, I’m also decorating the altar. Which, honestly, is fine by me. It will allow me to knock out three of my Coven requirements in one fell swoop. Because, I wrote the invocation, so you damn well know I will the one doing the actual invocation. Though, Faelind may overrule me and say that Elisa will still do the god invocation.

I got the photos glued into Dorene’s journal. Just need to write the entries that go with it, and then I can pack it up and mail it out. I’m glad she joined the journal swap and is using an older journal that I’ve worked in before. It really motivated me to bust out the paints again. I can’t remember the last time I did some serious art journaling. I really miss that.

Better Days

written:  August 30

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The full Pirates of the Caribbean chess set (minus two pawns). I’m going to print this out and glue it to the inside of the box cover, so the kids can put the pieces back in the correct spots. It can be quite the nightmare. Granted, I’ve been putting the pieces back for the past 12 years, so I’m pretty good at it. But I would rather the students do it.

Work was actually pretty good. The students left fairly early. We had blueberry muffins for our snack. Woohoo! LOVE those.

Mood-wise, I’m doing world’s better. Like I think the meds are finally kicking in and doing what they are supposed to be doing.

We got paid today, which is NICE. I got a 76 cent raise, which is impressive. The previous 3 raises I’ve received never were more than 12 cents. With that raise, I finally broke the $26 an hour bar. Woohoo! Too bad this couldn’t be a full time job. That would be nice.

Still haven’t heard anything back from the G. Library. I’m not going to lie, I am starting to lose hope on that. Guess I’ll go ahead and fill out the volunteer application for the F. Library and start working on my hours there. ::sighs:: Definitely NOT the way I want to go, but what else can I do at this point? Every library job posting I’ve seen wants a year’s worth of library experience.

Work Babble

written:  August 29

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Our “fancy” chess set up at work. I took photos of the layout of the board, as we had to move from the cafeteria to the hallway, and the students were about half-way through their game. This is one of the “privilege” games the students can “buy” with their reward points.

I really need to get on the ball with work stuff. I need to get the bios done for myself and my staff. I need to print out our contact information. I need to print out the things the students can buy with their reward points. And I need to print out our schedule as well. But, since the Tech (Creepy Tommy) can’t seem to get the printer installed to my one and only laptop, I don’t have the ability to do this at work. I may just send the files to my Zone Leader and request that she print them and bring them out to my campus.

Speaking of which…still no ETA on when my admin laptop (that DOES have the work printer installed on it) will be fixed and returned to me. And still no ETA on when we are getting our Spec Ed aide. So yeah, we are still here, flying by the seat of our pants, hoping for the best. Because that’s the way the after school program does it. ::soooo much snark here for that bullshit::