Co-Conspirators

written: Dec 26

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Awesome wolf mug that Annette sent me. I need to get a photo of the rest of the items she sent me in an AMAZING goody box. She always sends THE BEST goody boxes.

And now we are into the downward roll to the New Year. Hopefully the last days of 2019 will be calm and quiet. I’ve done the bulk of the work for my Tabula Rasa ritual. I’ve been working in my new Grimoire (and loving it thus far).

David’s been on vacation, so he’s been painting my bathroom. When it’s all done, it will have dark gray trim, light gray walls, and purple cabinets and door. I’m seriously so excited about it.

I am thinking of offering to friends the Sage Goddess oils I don’t like. I would ask them to cover shipping for sure, and maybe $5 an oil? I dunno. I’m just ready to really clear out some serious clutter. Or maybe I can offer multiple oils that I have in exchange for ones that I really want, in the Sage Goddess oil trading group. I’ll ponder this a bit more. I wouldn’t even be ready to start shipping them until January anyways.

Which reminds me, I need to mail out the wisteria seeds and seed pods to Weldon soon. AND, I still have two oil samples to send to pen pal friends as well. They live out of the country which is why I’m dragging my feet on it. I don’t want to fill out the customs paperwork and then stand in line at the post office to mail them. ::chuckles:: So I’ll do that in January as well.

Mom came up to visit today. She took David and I out to lunch, and then I got to give her a tour of my library. ::smiles:: Very cool.

After that, Dustin and I spent an hour making a model volcano. Not a bad way to spend a work day. ::chuckles::

Around 5 pm, my director came over to my desk and inquired if my Mom had been by to visit. I had told her that my Mom was going to visit, and that I needed specific hours off desk so I could go to lunch with my Mom. Denise (director) was seriously bummed that she didn’t get to meet my Mom and asked if she lived nearby, so maybe she could meet her another time she came to visit. I really do work with amazing people. So I’ve told Mom the next time she’s up visiting, she HAS to meet my Director. ::chuckles::

And things between me and Dustin are worlds better. I definitely feel more like we are co-conspirators now instead of Lord and Serf. We are definitely teaming up better for the various crafts and ideas on how to tweak them if they aren’t working out the way we expected it to. It’s really nice.

Dang it. I just realized I left the book I’m currently reading up at work. That’s one of the nice things about working IN the library – we have access to early releases of books. They’re housed in our Staff Lounge and we are HIGHLY encouraged to read them before they come out so we can talk to patrons about them. The one I’m currently reading has already been released, but I’m enjoying it thus far – The Chestnut Man by Søren Sveistrup.

Purple and Green

written: Dec 25

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Progress on my bathroom. David has done all of the work, as this is the type of thing he does while on “vacation”. The purple cabinets were his suggestion and I just LOVE them. And the door will be purple as well.

I drove David over to my Library today, so he could have an understanding of how to get there. Hopefully he and my mom won’t get lost tomorrow! ::chuckles:: He was quite impressed with my little library. And we said hello to all the friendly ducks. Though, I did point out the Canada Geese and told him to stay away from them. All geese are evil creatures.

AND, I found three gorgeous feathers from the Muscovy Ducks (also called Quackless Ducks). They are seriously beautiful. They look black until you get them in the light and then they have this gorgeous emerald sheen to them. I personally can’t believe I’ve been working at the library for almost a month now, and haven’t gone feather hunting. Crazy!

Pins

written: Dec 24

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Super cool enamel pin from my Canadian Twin, Brandy. It apparently is from a book themed loot crate and is inspired by the book Sorcery of Thorns – which she recommended to me and I LOVED! And she said it was even MORE appropriate for me, now that I work in a library.

I plan to get a large embroider hoop and some fabric to make a place I can display all of newly gained enamel pins. It seems this year I’ve been flooded with them. ::chuckles:: So now I want a way to display them and I think the fabric and embroider hoop is the cheapest and easiest way to do that. Then all I’ll have to decide is if I’ll display them at home or at work.

I have today and tomorrow off from work. What makes it even nicer is knowing that I have these 2 days off WITH pay. Woohoo! This is the first job that’s ever offered that. ::chuckles:: While it doesn’t make up for having a couple of weeks off (like when I was at the after school program), it will be nice to actually MAKE money during the Winter Holiday season. Now I just need the paychecks to finally start hitting my bank. I feel like I’ve been there forever and haven’t gotten paid yet! ::laughs:: They do have weird pay periods though. Pay day is on the 10th and the 26th of the month. ::shakes her head:: I have never heard of a place doing that. ::shrugs::

Nicer

written: Dec 23

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Steam coming off the neighbor’s house this morning. Our roofs were covered in hoarfrost and when the sun came out and started warming everything up, there was so much steam. ::smiles::

Apparently, Denise must have read Dustin the riot act, because he formally apologized if he had been overbearing or pushing too much. Like, I legit felt bad for the guy. BUT, he does want to give the postcard idea a try. I have until the end of the month to get it mostly figured out and written up because that’s when we have to turn in our plans to LS&S (who officially employs us). He’s said that would be my sole focus for right now. We’ll do some more training on story time and a few practice runs early in January.

Ribs

written: Dec 22

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Hmmm, ribs.

I got the log finally cut down to size to be usable in the fire pit! I had plans of having a fire this evening, but then David suggested we eat at Texas Roadhouse. Texas Roadhouse won that debate in a heartbeat. And it turned out to be awesome, because I ordered the half slab of ribs and they accidentally gave me a full slab. WIN!

Other than that, it was a nice, quiet day at home. I spent it working in my Grimoire, my journal, and watching YouTube videos. ::smiles::

Witchfest

written: Dec 21

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Fabulous Yule gifts from Linda P. We met up at La Madeline and hung out for a while. It’s always enjoyable to be able to talk witchy stuff face to face with another witch. Though, I think the guy sitting next to us side-eyed us more than once. ::chuckles:: At least he had the good sense not to say anything.

Inside the coffee cup (which is PERFECT for work) is a bunch of teas and chocolates. And there are two flavored honey spoons attached to the handle.

The Wolf artwork is actually a book box. Initially, I thought it would make a good mini altar up at work. But I have since figured out it will be PERFECT to keep my 2020 Grimoire in when I’m not working in it. ::smiles::

And Linda might be going to Witchfest Austin as well. April is planning to be down here at that time as well, so this could end up being a really cool weekend. I’m still trying to get ahold of Hazel and see if she wants to tag along. At the rate I’m going, I may need to rent a van! ::laughs:: I’m seriously excited about it.

Fort Witch (a new pagan store in Fort Worth) is talking about doing a Witchfest Fort Worth. That would be awesome as well. They are just now mulling over the idea and trying to figure out logistics, so I’m sure it will happen later on this year.

Breathing Room

written: December 20

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Lovely card that Alice made for me.

I had a great little chat with Denise today. I inquired if Dustin was always so....tightly wound. ::chuckles:: She laughed and said yes, and that it’s something she’s been working with him on for a while now. She told me as well to not be afraid to tell him to pump the brakes or to tell him “I’ve got this, thanks”. And she also told me that after Dustin’s and my pow wow in the break room about upcoming craft projects, that Emily mentioned that I had a TON of great ideas. So that was really nice to hear, since Dustin seemed hell bent on shooting every single one of them down.

Luckily, today Dustin doesn’t work (because he works tomorrow), so I can breathe a little bit and not have him breathing down my neck on everything. And I will be putting my foot down and really showing him how passive resistance works. ::chuckles:: I’m a pro at that. I just pick my stance on something and not budge on it. I don’t have to get into a screaming match or be overly aggressive in resisting. I just become a completely immovable object and refuse to get excited with him about it. ::laughs::

I perfected that in the after school program when the bosses kept pushing the Cardboard Challenge idea on us. I wouldn’t say anything about it unless they directly asked me. And then I would simply state that we would not be doing that on my campus. And the supervisors would always just be so shocked. They would tell me I “have” to do it…and I would simply state that “no, I did not”. They would fire back that it was not “optional” and I would just reiterate that I would not be doing that on my campus. And I would just sit there watching them be utterly lost at what to do about it. I was being defiant. I was being insubordinate. And I was flat out refusing a “direct order”. But I was so calm, quiet, and respectful about it, that they just didn’t know how to handle it. ::laughs:: So yeah, I’ll be doing that with Dustin here soon. We’ll see how he reacts to it. ::grins toothily::

Other than that, it was a pleasantly quiet day. I wish I was on desk more than they have me at times, but hey, it all works out in the end. And talking with Denise, I really feel like I’m going to like it here. For the most part, it’s a nice, easy pace. Though, I’m sure that will change when Summer hits and the kiddos are spending more time at the library because they are out of school. So for now, I’ll enjoy the leisure pace. ::smiles::

Boy Better Back Off

written: December 19

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Looks like witchcraft. ::chuckles::
Galaxite palm stone (my absolute favorite stone), wisteria seeds, selenite tower, and empty spell jars, just waiting to be used.

I had a pleasant dream last night. Involved two guys I had crushes on back in High School. We were battling something; I can’t remember what. And we had lead pipes and tire irons and an old musket gun. It was dark and we were fighting at this ruined castle. There were holes and ponds around us that we would hide in when we needed to. I got separated from the guys. I had the tire iron at this point and was sneaking around the ruins. This huge cloud of smoke and fire engulfed the ruins and from this cloud emerged a huge Zouwu (like in the one in Fantastic Beasts: Crimes of Grindelwald), but massive. It was a good 3 or 4 stories tall. And when it appeared out of the cloud of smoke and burning embers, it looked right at me, and I knew I was safe. And I woke up. So of course, now my brain is hyper-focused on the Zouwu.

Dustin has been riding my ass all day long. I don’t know what his deal is, but he needs to calm the fuck down already. He’s been hounding me today about getting all the craft projects for APRIL decided on and submitted to him. He was out on the desk and I was in the back, and he friggin’ CALLED me on my work line to ask me how it was going. Like, damn bro. Don’t you have anything better to do?

I have a feeling that we are gonna have a coming to Jesus meeting soon. I don’t have an issue with having to do the craft projects and what not, but I need a serious timeline on when these things are due. Because yesterday, he made it sound like I had a few weeks to work on the April items. And then today, he suddenly wants it all done STAT. I don’t work well that way. If you want me to do something, I can do it. I just need to know the due date, because this wishy-washy crap does not fly with me.

David and I joked about all sorts of snarky things I can do. That’s why I adore my husband. We can gripe about the shit and get it all out. And then we come up with all the snarky, passive-aggressive, aggressive things to do in retaliation. And then we come up with actual things we can do about the situation. ::chuckles::

So Sleepy

written: December 18

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GORGEOUS card from Linda. She painted this herself. She’s the woman that I’m thinking of commissioning to do the paintings on my Gammé once I get the ball rolling on that.

I am sooooo sleepy. And Dustin is super gung-ho about doing all the things right now. And I have zero energy, so it’s a real struggle for me to keep up with him at this point. I don’t know what my issue is. I got plenty of sleep. Though, at 1 am and then again at 3 am, the rest of the wisteria seed pods exploded. I have them in my room at this point, because I don’t want to risk Josey pup eating one (they are SUPER toxic), so it was much louder than the previous times. ::chuckles:: But thankfully, that’s the last of the seed pods, so there shouldn’t be any more middle of the night explosions. ::chuckles::

At some point ASAP, I need to get my Christmas cards written and mailed out. They are going to be late, but fuck it. Better late than never. And I didn’t do the photo ones this year either. But I did get some pretty ones from Barnes & Noble and that’s just how I’m going to roll this year.

Initiation Possibility

written: December 17

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Awesome gift that John sent me. ::smiles:: Debating if I’ll keep this one to use at home, or if I’ll use it up at work.

I like the quiet mornings before Dustin (my supervisor) gets here. I can leisurely do whatever tasks I have before me and just enjoy the process. Once Dustin shows up, it’s all hands on deck, gotta get shit done asap. ::chuckles:: Which, nothing wrong with that. But I like the quieter pace.

This morning I got to watch a Great Blue Heron on our pond area for a while. It’s been a while since I’ve got to watch one hunt and eat fish. Most of the time, I just see them flying by. To me, they are the Thunder Bird, as I almost always see them flying after a good storm.

Faelind (High Priestess) called me this evening to chat about the possibility of me initiating into the Coven. I have been thinking about this for a while now and I am pretty sure this is where I need to be spirituality. So I have accepted her invitation for initiation. I just have to figure out what Saturday in March works for me, and then we’ll see about getting the rest of the Coven members on board for that day as well.

Faelind also mentioned that I may be the ONLY one initiating this year. I can’t remember when, but Elisa dropped out in late November, so it is just me and Nicki at this point. But Nicki is very closed off – and for me, the major introvert, to say that, is SAYING something. Don’t get me wrong, Nicki is a lovely lady, but I’m not sure Coven work agrees with her. And Faelind pretty much said the same thing.

Initiation isn’t something I am taking lightly. I know that it will increase the time demand the Coven makes on me, as I will be participating in Sabbats, Full Moons, and now New Moons (something only Initiates get to attend). And then there’s the whole sky-clad part (fancy witch speak for nude rituals). Faelind did say that the Initiation ritual is nude and I know the New Moon rituals are nude as well. Thankfully, though, there are no men in the Coven. If there were, I probably would not have elected to work with this group. Don’t get me wrong, men do have a place in Paganism and in Coven work…I just don’t want to work with them at this time. And there’s NO way I would trust men enough in less than a year, to do sky-clad rituals with.

I know I still carry a lot of baggage surrounding men from my less-than-positive encounters (ah yes, I’m hinting about my rape and about my psycho ex and daddy issues). And I know this is something that honestly, I do need to see out some therapy for. Maybe once my new health insurance kicks in and I can figure out what all it pays for and what my network looks like…then I can put in the time to find a therapist. But until then, I’ll keep my distrust wrapped around me like a security blanket. It’s harder to hurt me if I keep you at arm’s length.

Childhood Memories

written: December 16

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Leviathan, looking smug as hell, with a shit right after I had cleaned up her tank.

Currently rocking a two-day headache. It’s not terrible…not a migraine or a cluster headache. But my head…just aches. All over. Hopefully the OTC painkillers will kick in soon. It’s still a few hours before I get my dinner break (working the late shift), and then a few more hours after that until I get to go home.

I was looking through an etsy shop randomly recommended to me. They have some gorgeous necklaces. But as I was looking through it all, I came across a ring that stopped me in my tracks. I dreamt of it a while back, a ring with the moon phases that I wore on my right thumb in my dream. And here was the ring, in the real world. I’ll have to snag it on the next paycheck…which also means, I need to figure out what is the ring size for my thumb. And I’ll follow the advice of the dream and set that ring up to absorb power/energy from the moon, that I can then access anytime I need it while I’m wearing the ring.

Other than that, it’s been a chill, quiet day. Dustin has shown me a lot of things that will make up my duties soon. It’s still a bit overwhelming, but I know in my heart, I’ve got this. I just have to learn it first. ::chuckles:: And everyone here is happy to help out if I ever have a question. It’s really refreshing not to be treated like I’m asking the stupidest questions, or asking questions just to be a pest.

It is days like today that I really miss my maternal Grandmother. One of my favorite books to read when I was young was My Father’s Dragon, by Ruth Stiles Gannett. I can’t recall how many times I’ve read that book cover to cover. So imagine my surprise when I stumbled across it today, while working on a list of books. Not only that, but My Father’s Dragon is just the first of a trilogy! I never knew there were more books after the first one. And my first thought was to tell my Grandmother. I would love nothing more than to share this discovery with her.

But I guess I’ll do the next best thing. I am thinking of buying the set and giving them to my Niece and Nephew. Maybe they’ll enjoy them as much as I did. And maybe I’ll buy myself a set as well. So I can relieve some good memories with a cute story, and see how the story progresses through the two new-to-me books. And while looking those up on Amazon, I came across the Catwings series by Ursula K. Le Guin – another childhood memory. And my library has it as well. I have a feeling, I’m going to sneak in some quiet time to re-read these books.

Yule Party

written: December 15

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Beautiful smudge fan that my High Priestess gave me (along many other things).

Today was our Coven’s Yule ritual and celebration. I gave my Coven members each a bottle of my Red Fast Luck Oil (with a Peridot and Citrine chip inside the bottle) with those fabulous red bags I shared a few days back. I wish I had bagged up an extra one to give to Sasha (Aesa’s boyfriend). I thought about doing that when Aesa said he would be coming with her, but then worried that it would be weird to give him a gift since I hadn’t met him previously. I wish I would just embrace my weirdness and go with it. ::chuckles:: Oh well. Maybe next time.

I had an owl fly right in front of my car as I was almost to the Coven-stead. So incredible. Just this great gray ghost that materialized out of the black night and then faded back into the darkness, barely giving me enough time to recognize what it was. So I have a feeling that the totem for 2020 just made her appearance. ::smiles::

Yule ritual was pleasant. Sasha also joined us for that. It’s been ages since I’ve done ritual with a male present, and it threw me off for a micro-second. But Sasha is really cool, really mellow, so he meshed well.

I’ll have to ask the High Priestess to send me the information she read to us about the Tomte and the goddess Holde (not sure on the spelling). She talked about celebrating the darkness, instead of our constant focus on the light, and the gifts the darkness brings. She also talked about how this coming year will be mostly in Capricorn and that most people believe it’s a limiting, earth bound year. But she said, instead, it’s about a culmination of everything we’ve built up to. That Capricorn is about finding your solid rock, your foundation, and setting the stage for the next level.

And I feel this really resonates with me right now. As 2019 winds down, so much is “new” for me. I have completed my Master’s degree. I have left the after school program after 12 years of working there. I have begun my library job. It just feels like things are finally falling into place, and that this next year will be about solidifying my career and understanding of my job. I will be setting some serious financial goals for myself, because I definitely want to get that on a firm foundation. And my spirituality is firm, and most likely I will be petitioning for initiation in the coming months to the Coven.

2019 was one hell of a roller coaster ride. It was a year of constant flux. I never felt like I had a firm grip on anything. I never felt like I had any sort of firm footing. I was just doing my best to keep my head above water.
Hopefully 2020 will be a year of less flux. Of more stability. Hopefully a lot more SANITY, as 2019 barely had any! ::laughs::

Desk Buddy

written: Dec 14

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My cute little desk buddy up at work.

Up bright and early to be at the Library for my first Saturday shift. I brought along the book I’m currently reading (Imaginary Friend, by Stephen Chbosky), so hopefully I can get some more reading done on my lunch break. It’s been a while since a book has hooked me like this. I read a few chapters last night before heading to bed as well.

I need to sit down and write a list of clothing items I need to add to my wardrobe. I’m just going to say fuck it and buy some men’s pants for work. This not having pockets at all bullshit has got to go. ::laughs:: And I do want a pair of boots to wear with the skirts Mom gave me. I’m taking note of what my coworkers are wearing and figuring out what I can wear that is similar enough. I’m hoping in a few months, once I’ve kind of proven myself, I can approach Denise (director) and inquire about hair coloring. I would love to have a few blue or purple streaks put in my hair. ::smiles:: That would make me so incredibly happy.

Ug, nothing is worse than having a truly amazing book to read, and your job limiting how much time you can read it! ::laughs:: Oh well, gotta make that money, ya know.

Speaking of which, the paycheck (which is most likely my last) from the after school program is pretty decent. So yeah, I will be backing the Nameless One Tarot/Oracle deck. I’ve been watching it for a while now on Kickstarter and definitely would love to add that deck to my collection, but couldn’t justify spending the money right now. So once all my bills are paid for the month, I should have the money left over that I can get in on that deck. I’ve been watching the artist on Facebook as she’s worked towards creating the deck, so it would be very cool to get my hands on the finished deck.

I seriously need to put my room back to rights. I’ve been putting that off for a while now. ::chuckles:: Another one of the wisteria pods exploded open around 2 am. I swear, that’s the only time they open. Only have 6 pods left that I am waiting for them to open. I will be packing some of the seeds and opened pods up to send to Weldon’s wife. She had expressed interest in having some of the seeds. Maybe I will plant one or two of the seeds myself. When it gets big enough to survive outside, I could put it by the fence David built. It should keep it fairly well contained to our yard. Maybe I could start a seed for my Mom as well. She loves wisteria and we used to have a wisteria plant at the house I grew up in.

Ug, they are having a dance recital at the library, and I am so ready for them to go into the Meeting Room already for it. I’m tired of the crowd and the noise. I’m tired of smiling and being helpful. ::laughs:: Don’t they know I just want my quiet library time?!?! ::chuckles:: Honestly, I just want to go to the back and read. That would be perfect right now.

Friday, the 13th

written: December 13

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I picked this book up this afternoon from my local library, and already I am on page 250! Seriously, it is so damn good.

I had so many plans for today… I did accomplish a few, but not nearly as many as I wanted. ::chuckles:: Though, it’s also nice to simply enjoy having a day off of work. It’s still a major adjustment to working full time when I’ve pretty much only worked part-time for the vast majority of my life.

I was finally able to access my voicemails (my cell phone has been throwing a temper tantrum for a while now). I had SIX voicemails from the Da. Library, inquiring if I was still interested in the position they’ve offered. It was kind of nice to be THAT wanted. ::chuckles:: And I’ll admit, I thought about accepting their offer for a while today. It’s almost double the pay. BUT, it’s a good 45-minute drive one way (and that’s being optimistic). And here at the F.B. Library, I genuinely like everyone. Even the hard ass, Caren. AND, my favorite students from the after school program can come visit me here at the F.B. Library at any point. There’s no way they would go all the way over to the Da. Library to see me. So yeah, while the pay increase would be nice, I am genuinely happy right where I am. So I’ve emailed the Da. Library, thanking them for the offer, but letting them know I’ve already accepted a position at a different library.

I finished up reading Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel. It was in my cubicle, and I started reading it just to have something to read. I wasn’t overly impressed with it in the beginning, but about mid-way through, it really started getting good. I brought it home so I could finish it, because I needed to know how it ended. I don’t care for how open ended the ending was, but all in all a good book.

I finally got around to making my own “reading passport” book. I got the idea from Letterfolk. They have a ton of various “passports” for you to record your information in, from wine to coffee, to hiking, to museums. But I figured I could make my own, so it would be tailored to what I like. And I think my goal passport, zoo passport, and book passport pages turned out quite well. Though, I may modify the book one, so there is a spot on the page to include a photo of the book cover. Or I could just put the book cover on the back. Eh, just things to work on and tweak as I see fit and have the time.

Looking Ahead

written:  December 12

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My beautiful little Miss Leviathan, striking a pose.

I am not dragging as much ass as I thought I would after the craziness of last night’s Cookies with Santa. And honestly, the Children’s Section of the library wasn’t too terrible when I got in this morning. I honestly was expecting a lot of “destruction”, a lot of books needing to be re-shelved. Other than fixing one game, cleaning the table tops, and putting the tables back in their correct spot, you couldn’t tell we had a major program last night. It was really nice.

The High Priestess sent out the public class schedule for 2020 and 2021 today. And since I have some downtime on desk, I looked through what was being offered. Quite a few of the classes caught my eye so I’m hoping to attend those in the coming new year. It will make for a long day, as they are on Wednesdays, and I work full time now. I’m not sure about the drive just yet, but will look into that soon. David will just have to make it a point to leave work on time to be home for Josey.

Santa

written: December 11

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Me and my bestie with matching friendship bracelets she made us.

So apparently wisteria seeds explode open when they are ready. ::laughs:: About 3 am, something hit my door and it sounded like the clothes hangers were rattling, like when David shuts the front door too hard. But it turns out, it was the sound of two wisteria seeds hitting my door. So that’s good information to know, because some of the pods I have drying have 4 or 5 five seeds. And since wisteria seeds are toxic, I have to make sure I get them all and Josey doesn’t eat them. I’m going to have to rig something to enclose the seed pods while they dry to keep them a bit more contained.

On my way to work, I got faint feeling. Tingling in my hands and arms. Feeling very hot. And I ended up throwing up. Always a great way to begin a work day. Double awesome for an insane work day. ::sighs:: Thankfully I had Ritz crackers at my desk, so I snacked on a few of those before I had to do an hour on the Youth Desk. After that, all my time is slotted for the Cookies with Santa program.

I saw a really cool idea on Nala Mid’s YouTube about doing a Year Wheel. The idea is to section out a circle into twelve slices. Each slice is for 1 month. And in the slice you doodle and write about the highlights of the month. And at the end of the year, you have this entire wheel of doodles and fond memories on one page. I definitely want to try this out. And it will challenge me to practice doodling as well. So wins all around.

The Cookies with Santa was a smash hit. We had 250+ people show up. Two of my after school kiddos showed up as well, and that totally made my night. Rileigh made us matching friendship bracelets and I got a photo of us sporting the bracelets. The craft project went well. And it started winding down around 7:30 pm. I got my photo with Santa as well! ::chuckles:: I really like how it turned out.

Decorating

written: December 10

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Starting to decorate my little cubicle.

I live the for the days that we are allowed to wear jeans at work. ::laughs:: I just love having POCKETS. Whomever started the trend of women’s clothing having useless pockets or NO pockets, should be drug into the street and beaten. That is so irritating.

Anyways, back to being able to wear jeans – just required a holiday shirt. So I swung by Wal-Mart yesterday and snagged a “Don’t Stop Believing” Santa shirt. And I’m rocking a button that one of my coworkers made for the Santa and Cookies tomorrow. I plan to hang the button up in my cubicle. I want to keep a collection of all the buttons, so I’ll need to figure out a way to display them and keep them all together.

I also found some Elf Movie gift tags, so you KNOW I grabbed those. And it turns out there were 2 of each design, so David was able to have a set as well. I hung up the gift tags in my cubicle. It’s not a whole lot of decoration, but it’s better than nothing. ::chuckles::

I’m slowly compiling a list of photos I want to print out to hang up in my cubicle as well. The photo of me and Wotan. A photo from my wedding. A photo of Leviathan, and her most recent hatch-day card. A photo of Josey. Maybe some others, but those are the ones I am 100% sure on.

I worked a bit on my Grimoire. I have a list of topics that I want to put in it for sure. So I penciled those in tentatively where I want them to go. I definitely want it to look nice, so I will be putting some good effort into it. I want it to be a good mixture of photos and drawings. After the info at the front, it will just be kept chronologically. I may color code it or add an index at the back or something along those lines to make it easier to find specific information. But at that point, it’s more about recording my 2020 Witchery. This is not the End All Be All Grimoire. It’s just the one I’m working in for 2020. So while I do want it to look nice, I am NOT going to get hung up on perfectionism. That is not what this book is for.

And I finally got my F.B. Library card. Woohoo! I get it for free because I’m an employee. Which is nice, because, otherwise, it would cost me $250 a YEAR. Wozza. Caren used me as the example when she was showing me how to sign someone up for a library card. Now, I just need to figure out what books I want to check out. ::smiles:: Or I may do the Mango Languages on my lunch break. I need to get a set of earbuds for that though.

Catching Up

written:  December 09

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Getting into the festive spirit. These are for the little gifts I’m giving my Coven-mates at our Yule party on the 15th.

I went over to my after school program today. The kiddos were so happy to see me. I got mobbed at the door. It seriously made my day. I ended up hanging out a lot longer than I had planned.
But man, my campus has gone way downhill under Scotty McHottie’s reign. The kids have zero respect for him. The amount of disrespect I saw them giving him the entire time? It took everything in me to not march over to the students and read them the riot act. But I knew that by doing that, it would only serve to undermine Scotty’s authority even more.

But from talking with Jess, I honestly should have stepped in. From what she was telling me, shit has gone down in a flaming heap of shit. I would be seriously surprised if she wasn’t actively looking for a new job right now. And sadly, I know that if/when Jess leaves? That campus is going to completely implode. I hate that, but damn. It is what it is. And I refuse to feel guilty about it. Just sucks that my good kiddos are going to be the ones that suffer.

But it was really good to catch up with Jess and with all my students. I got to see Rileigh B. and my other favorites. ::smiles:: I told them about the Cookies with Santa that my library is hosting. I hope some of them do show up.

Witch Up

written: December 08

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I picked up some wisteria seed pods today. Hopefully I can get some seeds out of these this time.

I panicked the first time I drove past the house with the wisteria. I didn’t want to get in “trouble”. And then I told myself, Witch up. You are a mother fucking witch. Who is going to say shit to you? As long as you act like you are supposed to be there, supposed to be picking the seeds, you will be fine. And once I stopped and got out of my car and started picking the seed pods, I was calm inside. A car even drove by and it barely registered to me. I just need to remember the strength I have within me. So yeah, I have 9 pods and can go back for more if needs be.

I typed up a whole bunch of responses to various pen pal letters that have been collecting dust on my table for months. It seems this is the only way I will probably be able to get a response letter out to them before the new year. I still have a handful left to reply to, but it is worlds easier than having to handwrite these replies. Besides, I get to include photos in them as well. ::smiles:: I really should just get my own printer one of these days.

Grimoire Plans

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Cover page for my 2020 Grimoire. I covered up my Craft name because I don’t share that with anyone. Period.

The rainbow moonstone (which isn’t too rainbow, if you ask me) is from Sage Goddess. I am thinking of getting a long chain and making it a necklace to wear. Or I may just hang it up in my room. Once I get my Gammé built, it will hang inside there.

I am asking all of my Pagan friends if they have book recommendations on Pagan books for children. There are ZERO in the F.B. Library, and I would like to add a few, here and there. We deserve representation in the library as well. So once I am able to place book orders, I will be adding a few to the library.

Today has been wonderfully calm and quiet here at the house. I’m working on compiling a list of topics I want to cover in my Grimoire. I want it to be a true reflection of MY Path, so I won’t be adding in anything that doesn’t pertain to my Path and that I haven’t performed myself. So yeah, not adding in what days of the week are best for what types of magick, because that has nothing to do with my practice what-so-ever. Just like I won’t be including candle color for magick. I know that stuff by heart, so there’s no reason to write it down.

This coming year, I will really be looking critically at my own Practice. I am going to be paring down the fluff that doesn’t work for me and focusing solely on the core that resonates with me.

I have a good feeling about this.

Boring Friday

written: December 06

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My view at work. I can’t wait for the spring to roll around and everything green up and all the baby ducks and whatnot. I will certainly take my good camera up to work and go do photography on my lunch break.

I had literally NOTHING to do today at work. I did finish up enrolling for all my benefits. And I re-read the policies – NOTHING about having unnatural hair color. ::grins toothily:: No worries. It would be a while before I could afford to get fun colors put in my hair AND I would definitely check with the Director before doing that as well. Nothing worse than paying all that money only to be told you can’t have it. Then you have to spend the money to strip out the color or cut it.

I should take my personal journal up there and do my daily entries. I already have a work journal that I keep up with where I’m supposed to be each hour. So I think it would be a little weird to carry around two journals. I’ve tried writing in my work journal and then transfer it over into my written journal. But it just doesn’t feel “right”. I just can’t do that kind of writing in the work journal. ::shrugs:: It’s one of those weird things my brain just can’t do. I’m thinking of installing a journaling software on my tablet and using it possibly.

I dunno. I just don’t do well sitting for hours without anything to do. I hate just sitting and twiddling my damn thumbs for hours on end. I asked around and none of the other librarians had anything they needed help on either. Not even the director.

Grimoire

written: December 05

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Photos just do not do this piece justice at all.
“Protected Heart” by the FABULOUSLY talented Luna Blue Boutique.

I will be putting this up in my cubical at work....once they remodel it…sometime early next year? There’s no way I would risk this piece being damaged or lost.

Today was a much better day. I don’t feel quite so anxious about it all. We had our monthly staff meeting this morning. And the director wasn’t joking when she said they go all out for snacks for those. There was at least three dozen donuts, the same amount of kolaches, and then a huge bowl of fruit. ::chuckles::

I picked up a new journal that I am going to use as a Grimoire. My intention is to keep a Grimoire this coming year. I picked up a Moleskin. I was tempted to get one of those leather ones, but those are too expensive and honestly, I think I would be afraid of “messing” it up. The one I got was a bit more expensive than the standard Moleskin, as it’s the “expanded” version (meaning it has a lot more pages). But I’m feeling really good about it. And I picked up some cheap fountain pens at Michaels. They are the disposable kind. I figure I’ll give them a try.

Cardboard

written: December 04

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A graphic novel I came across today at the library that reminded me of the horrible cardboard challenge we were expected to do each year at the after school program.

I will admit I had an evil thought of buying a copy and sending it to the after school program bosses. ::chuckles:: But even I’m not that sadistic to my fellow Campus Leaders and their aides. The cardboard challenge was always the worst thing. It is a great thing…if you have 12 or less students. But trying to do it with a campus of 70+? It’s utter insanity. ::shakes her head:: It was one of the few things that I absolutely refused to back down on when I would tell whatever supervisor I had at the time that my campus would NOT be participating in the event. Hell, I even wrote my own write up one time and signed it and sent it to my supervisor at the time. She had threatened that I would receive a write up if I didn’t do, so I went ahead and did myself and said that no, I would not be doing it. ::chuckles:: That supervisor had no idea what to do with me at that point. She backed way off at that point.

Panicking

written: December 03

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A post card I received today from Portugal via Postcrossing.

Today at work, Emily was fully decked out in a cute Christmas elf sweater with a ton of jingle bells. She sneezed earlier, and I piped up that it sounded like Santa came to town early. ::chuckles:: I think I’m going to fit in quite well with my co-workers.

The Da. Library sent me a criminal background check release form, so it would seem that I’m still being considered for that job. I won’t lie, I was tempted for a good while to go ahead and fill it out and see what they ended up offering. But then again, they’ve left me hanging in the breeze now for a while, so that definitely leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

And honestly, I’m mostly panicking over the fact that in January, I will be responsible for doing all the story times. Like the ones for babies. ::cue panic flailing:: I do not like babies. Or toddlers for the most part either. So yeah, I’m a bit anxious over that. And it’s a little intimidating to know that I am THE Children’s Librarian. I mean, yeah, Dustin is the youth services supervisor, but still. That’s one hell of a title to put on me right now and I’m terrified of fucking it up.

I just keep repeating to myself over and over that this is a learning experience. My co-workers all want me to succeed, which means their library succeeds. So they are going to help me when I need it. I just need to breath and focus on learning the steps right now.

1st Day

written: December 02

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Cool little notebook the Library Director gave me today.

Today was a day of complete and utter information overload. I am not ashamed to say towards the end I was beginning to panic. But my co-workers are seriously awesome, so that took some of the fear out of it.

It was nice to have the morning off, but SUCKED to work until 9 pm. But luckily that’s only on Mondays. The rest of my days are 9 am to 6 pm. This week I will work Friday, which means I have Saturday and Sunday off, which is nice! So hopefully, next Friday, I will be able to go visit my campus and see my students. I especially want to see Rileigh B., as she was absent my entire last week and she was one of my absolute favorites.

Hmm, I should get cracking on my thank you cards to all the students and families that gave me items on my last day as well. Writing thank you notes is something my maternal Grandmother was ADAMANT about. You ALWAYS thank someone when they go out of their way to give you a gift. And I certainly am deeply grateful for all the love and items the families gave me. I would like to have all of those cards written and ready to go by the time I get to visit my campus. Plus, I’m hoping to get a copy of Camden’s mom’s pumpkin loaf recipe. That was AMAZING.

New Beginning

written: December 01

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The last slice of pecan pie that my Uncle made for our family Turkey Day. He’s surprised all of us with how good of a cook he’s turned out to be.

New month. New hand-written journal. New job. Apparently December is my month of new things.

Tomorrow is my first day at the F.B. Library. I’m mostly excited and only a small bit anxious, which is a nice turn of events. Most of the time, a change of this size for me would have my anxiety running rampant.

I am still bit sad not to be going back to my students and my campus. Which is understandable. I’ve been there for 12 years. I worked damn hard to turn that campus around. When I first started, it was absolute chaos and the campus staff absolutely HATED us. It took me 4 years to turn that all around. And now, the campus sings our praises.