Currently

 

Two people I absolutely adore, do this each month and I am finally gonna hop on the bandwagon.

Current Accomplishment: Starting to really get into decluttering my room; called Mom and sung her our “Merry Happy New Birthday song”.

Current Annoyance: That I can’t draw as well as I would like. Like, I’m seeing improvement….but I’m not nearly to the level I want.

Current Bane of My Existence: all this damn HEAT (hello, Texas? It’s friggin’ OCTOBER. Can we PLEASE drop down into the 80s now?). The other part of that is that the a/c kinda-sorta works at the Library, but not really? So yeah, that’s not any fun either.

Current Blessing: having the last couple of days off from work. I took Friday and Saturday off due to our anniversary, and the Library is closed Sunday and Monday, so I’m enjoying a lovely 4-day weekend.

Current Book(s): ::laugh/cry:: Yeah, I haven’t read much of anything. Focus just isn’t there.

Current Clothing Thoughts: Currently loving soft t-shirts. I do need to purchase some new items for my wardrobe soon though.

Current Color(s): standard color is always gray, but have been liking dark red as well

Current Crush: anyone wearing horns. I definitely need to buy myself a pair to wear.

Current Drink: Sprite – deviating from my constant coffee addiction at the moment

Current Excitement(s): beginning of Spooky Season! LOVE it! AND sorting out how I want to get my hair cut and what color I’ll be going with on my birthday.

Current Feeling: A bit restless

Current Fetish: listening to certain songs on repeat. Hmm, I think horns could go here as well.

Current Films: Guardians of the Galaxy 3. I know this is gonna make me sound old, but what the fuck is up with all the spinning shots? I have to close my eyes or look away because it makes me sick.

Current Food: Strawberry poptarts

Current Goal: getting back into my journaling/blogging practice. Also, would like to actually do some Tarot/Oracle deck flip throughs on my YouTube channel.

Current Guilty Pleasure: JOURNALS and SKETCHBOOKS. I have MORE than enough. Seriously. I’m good. I don’t NEED any more. ::chuckles::

Current Image(s):

Currently Listening To: the airplanes overhead and the neighborhood dogs

Current Love: these lil madeleine brownies David picks up at Target. Soooo good. And I don’t generally even LIKE brownies. ::chuckles::

Current Mindfuck: that it’s been 14 years since I said “I Do” in Vegas to my best partner in crime. How the fuck has it been FOURTEEN years???

Current Mood: Honestly? Pretty mellow.

Current Music: Devil by Phix (boy with tats and horns? Don’t mind if I do). Triggered by SkyDxddy (along with her cover of Dax’s Joker). Oh and Unhinged by Elyse Myers.

Current Music Video: Definitely SkyDxddy’s cover of Dax’s Joker.

Current Outfit: soft t-shirt, this FABULOUSLY comfortable (and SOFT) active wear pants

Current Project: getting my October Bullet Journal set up and ready to go. Also setting up a “journal” journal for the beginning for 2024. Oh, and working on hashing out birthday goals and 101 goals.

Current Reason(s) to Laugh: it’s always a toss up between something off the wall and/or hysterical my husband says or does; or something goofy my puppers does

Current Reason(s) to Smile: beautiful no-longer-quite-full moon rising in the sky, and that it isn’t BALLS HOT once the sun goes down. That’s “autumn” for ya in Texas. ::chuckles::

Current Self-Care: Doing pretty good with face cleaning (both in the morning AND in the evening) and brushing my teeth – rather proud of that, as those have never been an honest to god habit, like everyone else seems to have.

Current Self-Image Thoughts: that I look pretty damn amazing for someone of my age AND with how much I suck at taking proper care of myself. ::laughs::

Current Slang or Saying: “Ah the sounds of the Library” (complete with screaming children, fire/police/ambulance sirens {due to us being very close to a police station, fire station, AND a hospital}, various levels of swearing from our mentally unstable patrons, and anything else that is NOT relaxing noises). “Never a dull day” is running a close second.

Current Song Lyrics:
I shouldn’t take things so serious
I don’t think they mean any harm
But it would sicken you too
If it happened to you
And you had to relive every part
Here come the flashbacks
And the panic attacks
How long does that shit last I’m losing myself by the day see
And I know you all think that I’m crazy
~Triggered, by SkyDxddy

Current Triumph: having completed TMS treatment. Seriously, if you suffer from chronic depression, look into TMS. It’s been a game changer for me.

Current TV Show(s): we just finished watching all 8 seasons of Suits. So good! I’m also watching Ancient Aliens.

Current Wish List: a personal maid and chef. Everything else, I can handle. But having those? That would be AMAZING. If we are being “reasonable” I would say, some nice boots, a few more “professional” tops, and a whole slew of bookshelves to house my various journals and sketchbooks.

Current Worry: my brother is going through some health issues.

Hurray Spooky Season

I’m trying to get back into the habit of journal keeping.  Guess you can say it’s a goal right now.

I’m currently working on my upcoming birthday goals.  Trying to keep them reasonable, but still a few to push me outside my comfort zone.  Also hashing out a 101 goals in 1001 days as well.  Sometimes, I just need things to look forward to.  Things to hope and strive for.

September 30^th marked my 14^th wedding anniversary.  Fourteen years married, 16 years TOTAL together.  Just crazy, when you think about it.  I cannot believe it’s been 14 years since we got hitched in Vegas.  ::chuckles::  I’m currently working towards getting us back to Vegas for our 15^th anniversary.

I know I will kick myself later on down the road about not writing more about TMS, but man, it’s a game changer for me.  I am having to come to terms with somethings about myself.  But it’s easier now.  Like, I have the motivation and the ENERGY to actually DO things.

I’ve been decluttering my room.  It honestly, has just been a dumping ground for everything over the past couple of years.  And I know that’s a major reflection of how my mental health was taking such a massive ass beating.  And I didn’t even realize how BAD it was.  But looking at all the useless SHIT I have in my room now?  Yeah, it was bad.  BUT, this gives me a marker to use in the future.  If I just start piling things up and not even LOOKING at what I’ve purchased?  Then I need to stop and really, REALLY check in with myself.

I need to revamp the affirmations I do.  I have the ones from my TMS sessions taped up on my bathroom mirror so I can see them every day.  And somedays, I go ahead and read each one out loud to myself before I go to work.  But, most of them no longer resonate with me.  And I think 15 affirmations is just too much as well.  So, I need to figure out what I want there instead.

I’ve also taken to reading my Spirit Companions’ names out loud.  Usually, I do this as a part of my winding down, getting ready for bed routine.  I just have so many at this point, that I kind of forget who is who.  So I have their names, plus their species written down on a piece of paper that is also tapped to my bathroom mirror (it’s a huge mirror).  I have a white 7-day candle in there that I’ll also light while reading the names, as a small offering to them all.

Work is still work.  ::shrugs::  But I don’t foresee that changing anytime soon.  I just don’t require self validation from my job.  It’s my job, not what I’m deriving my sense of self-worth from.  I’m still hoping that a position opens up at the library in my town.  That’s the IDEAL job at this point, as it would be a 5-minute drive TOPS to get there from my house.  ::chuckles::  Lort, that would be AMAZING. 

Other than that….hurray for official spooky season!