Samhain Ponderings

 

It's just fitting to have this realization on Samhain night, the claimed "Witches' New Year".

I've been in a bit of a stall, of a slowly descending spiral, feeling trapped and panicking, but not know WHAT is trapping me and thus having no idea on how to get OUT of said trap.

I've given myself a new lease on life, now that I have completed TMS treatments.  My depression is barely a blip on the radar most of the time.  I'm also turning 42 this year, which kind of feels like a BIG thing.  I guess since I didn't bat an eye at hitting the big 4-0, maybe I'm just a late bloomer for that and am just now feeling that milestone.

But yeah, big, life-changing things and finally feeling like I have a LIFE worth living...  A massive LIFE change there.
And yet, I just felt like I was flailing around while being completely STAGNANT.

And it hit me last night....

Typically, BIG life changes, such as on-set of menstruation, getting married, giving birthday, entering menopause, become a grandmother, etc....these are marked with a RITUAL of some sort.  Something that defines the Before and the After.  And this?  This is a BIG transition in my life.  And it DESERVES a ritual, a ceremony, SOMETHING to mark this occasion in a big way.

My spiritual practice has been merely theoretical for a while now.  Arm chair witchcraft.  A lot of thinking and pondering and contemplating...but ZERO action.  Zero DOING of witchcraft.

So yeah.  I was thinking of skipping my annual Tabula Rasa ritual this year.  But I think it's more important than ever to do it this year.  And I'm thinking it needs a FULL ritual, instead of the bland "meh" I've done the past few years.