Saturday, June 30, 2018

Good Friends

Photo 91/1001

20180630_131137

SUSHI!!!!
To be more exact, this is TWO Dragon Rolls. Which, I learned…I cannot quite eat two entire Dragon Rolls. ::chuckles:: But it was damn fun trying!

The Arlington Gemstone and Mineral show was a bit of a bust. It was closer this year to me, at a slightly bigger venue, with a LOT more vendors….but the prices were so high. The Pyrite Sand Dollars that I saw last year for $20 were at least $40, if not more, this time around. So I didn’t get one and I’m a tad bummed, but it is what it is.

So, I’ll make note to set some extra money aside for next year. And I will be sure to go on Sunday instead of Saturday. While it was awesome to see so many families out enjoying it, there was just too many people there for me to really enjoy myself. I’m hoping that was mostly because I went on the first day – we’ll see what next year has in store.

And I just wanted to post the following, so I can keep it and remember it. Clint (a dear friend, also a fellow LARPer…honestly, he was the first friend I made up in college, so I’ve known him since 2000) reached out and sent this message to me in regards to my posts on Facebook concerning the death of one of my former students:

Yo. Saw your post. That has to be heart wrenching. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a child. People say that all the time and while they probably mean well, it is something of platitude I think. You had a hand in shaping this man’s life, so you probably feel this more than what a random commenter on FB ever could. I wish I had some advice to give out, something that would give a good perspective. I don’t. I have stared down some hard stuff and all I can say is that I know you are doing that now. Maybe the only real perspective I can offer isn’t about what is missing now. Maybe the thing you might find in the pain of this lose is that since you hurt, you cared. Since you cared, you made an impact. If you made an impact there, you are probably making an impact still with someone else. I don’t know what happened to that young man, I hope his loss isn’t further compounded by some kind of darkness. Regardless though, If my opinion helps orient your thoughts. meditate on the impact you are making now and focus on the light you are bringing.

It was everything I could do to NOT just bawl my eyes out at his kind words. Shit, if we are being real, just rereading it right now is bring tears to my eyes again. ::smiles::

Which, now really has me looking long and hard at my friends. They say tough times will show you clearly, who you CAN and CANNOT depend on. And Paula is not only someone I CANNOT depend on, but she’s also someone who, more times than naught, tends to say the most ignorant and therefore hurtful things. I don’t feel that she does this on purpose, but holy hell, she has one of the biggest issues with what I call WASP Privilege (White Anglo Saxon Protestant). Because she can be so open about just about anything in her life without repercussions, she cannot even begin to understand that not everyone has that same privilege. I got a BIG dose of that back in December when we had our “amazing” diversity meeting (holy hell, it was bloody AWFUL) and she fucking outed me about being Pagan to a coworker AS I WAS PROTESTING EVEN BEING INVOLVED IN THE “CONVERSATION”. She’s made constant comments about how we should all get along and how there shouldn’t be division marking “Black Rights, Women’s Rights, Trans’ Rights, etc” – we are all human, so we should all be the same. I pointed out that doing so turns a blind eye to the special challenges that each of those various minority groups face and she came back with how she “totally understands” that and wants everyone to be “unique” because “you people are like pieces of artwork”. Which, I know she means well, but I pointed out that it doesn’t feel like to be associated with an inanimate object like that, especially since by her own language she doesn’t see herself as a part of that group. ::shakes her head::

I am very selective in who I include in my various circles of friends. And this type of behavior, this type of mindset? I can’t tolerate it. And I don’t have to. But since we are coworkers, it does make the situation a little sticker than usual. So for now, I’m just limiting everything she can see on my FB page and completely unfollowing her. That will have to do for the following school year, because we’re coworkers. But once I part ways with the after school program, she will be unfriended and blocked on FaceBook. Seeing how that goes, I may have to block her from my cell as well. Just depends on how quickly she notices that she’s been removed from my FB world.

FunDay

written: June 29

Photo 90/1001

20180629_151128

Watermelon margarita at On the Border. Though I’m pretty sure the watermelon only made up 10% of the drink. They made it STRONG.

David and I both had today off (he has to work this weekend though). We got his car inspected and then did a late lunch at On the Border. So damn good. Then it was back home for what turned out to be a family nap. ::chuckles:: And then a nice, quiet, relaxing day at home.

Hazel has cancelled two plans with me. Well, technically, I cancelled our plans to get together last night. She had to get stuff together with her step-mother for her father’s upcoming 50th birthday, so she wanted to get together at 8:45 pm. I was actually planning on being close to done with our ritual by that point, so I opted out. And then she text me today that she wouldn’t be able to go with me to the Arlington Gemstone and Mineral show this weekend.

Which I get, and completely understand. It still just sucks. But I’m still going. I am hoping to pick up a Pyrite Sand Dollar. They look like sun bursts and I want one to put Sekhmet’s statue on while it’s on the altar. I figured it would be a nice gift to Her. ::smiles:: And sushi may, or may not happen as well. All in all, a damn good start to this 3-day weekend.

Thankful Thursday

written: June 28

Photo 89/1001

20180628_181147

Rose buds. I think this is blooming Round #3? I have kind of lost count now. I really need to retreat her for black-spot and fertilize her again.

I am thankful…
1. A nice pay raise at the Summer Tech Job. Thank all that is holy for that!
2. Roses are blooming, and the crepe myrtle is doing beautifully well.
3. The Spartan Mosquito eradicators seem to be doing a damn good job keeping the mosquito population down in our yard. I will certainly be buying it again for next year and setting it up in March (which is when they recommend we put them out for our area).
4. Good, quick check up appointment with my gyno. Everything checks out from my ablation procedure. Hurray!
5. All the amazing eye-candy I had at work this week. I hope it continues. ::chuckles and winks::
6. Hazel igniting my desire to do a new initiation and a new name to celebrate my new change in life (aka, no more periods for me).
7. Seeing interesting wildlife during my trip to my gyno and back – saw prairie dogs and elk this time around.
8. Beautiful Full Moon.
9. Really coming into greater confidence in my path and my practice. ::smiles::
10. Catching up with another former students’ mom (I had all three of her children in my after school program). She says that Sam (her son, and the youngest) is always asking to come up and visit me at the after school program. I told her by all means, tell him to come visit. He was another one of my favorites and I love having him come visit.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Shit Day

written: June 27

Photo 88/1001

0088

Cute little Koala bear I drew on a sticky note pad on Jennifer’s desk. I was so damn bored there in the back for about two hours. They needed me to cover the back (where people come to drop off their iPads and laptops to get repaired, or to turn them in if they are leaving the district), because there was a funeral today for one of the Techs who passed away suddenly last week.

Today was shit day to be honest.
One of the Techs that I kind-of-sort-of-knew-ish passed away suddenly last Thursday. Today was her funeral – which I didn’t go to but a lot of the Tech Department did. So when I got home today, I thought I would see if I could find her obituary. Instead, I came across the obit for one my former students.

It seriously hit me right in the gut and knocked all of the air out of my lungs. Christian was one of my favorites. He has his issues (as all of my favorites tend to), but it seemed like things were just starting to turn around for him. He had just graduated high school earlier this month and had decided on attending one of the local junior colleges. He had bad anxiety so him going to college was a big thing. The last thing he posted on his Facebook page was gushing about how inviting and warm the college was and how he was so excited about joining that community in the Fall. But he died in a car crash Sunday.

And so I posted on Facebook about being heartbroken and how much it sucks to be looking for a coworker’s obituary and instead find one for one of your students. And Paula, bless her fucking lil heart, commented something along the lines of “Ew.” I shit you not. And then went on to talk about how death is on the rise for the US due to all the stressors we’re currently under.

Which, let’s break this shit down real quick. What the FUCK would ever possess a person to write “Ew” on a post about the death of a student??????

As for the second part, ok, I didn’t come out and say the age of my student or any other identifying info, but what the fuck? I’m sure death from chronic illnesses, stress related illnesses, and mental illnesses are certainly on the rise in our nation at the moment….but how the fuck does that have ONE GODDAMN THING to do with my post?

I was coming to my friends in Facebook for solace. I had tears rolling down my face. And this is the shit she posts? Like are you for fucking real? And this isn’t the first time she’s gone off on some wild direction, vastly different from what I needed. I just wanted to call her and scream at her on the phone about her fucking insensitive comment. And it just boggles my mind, because most of the time, she’s SUPER sensitive to these things.

I just don’t know where this is coming from with her. She works the same after school program I do (she’s a sub, so she goes to a lot of different campuses). And she’s really good at her job. But that fucking comment? Christ, if she had done that in person, I would have probably backhanded her before I even realized I had moved.

And what shocks me is how similar Paula and I are on a lot of things, and yet she was beyond insensitive on this. And then Keith pops up saying how I look like the new Bachelorette and we start our standard banter of him telling me I’m hot and me trying to get him to bring me the Bachelorette for some fun. And at the end of it, before he heads to bed, he’s like “I hope I made you smile after getting such crappy news today.” And we are polar opposites on a lot of shit politically…and yet, he knew I was hurting and found a way to cheer me up for a bit. And that’s a true friend. Well, a true friend probably wouldn’t be constantly joking about trying to sleep with me. But that’s just the weird, unique friendship Keith and I have.

And yes, Keith and I dated way back in the day. We’ve been friend since 2000? 2001? We LARPed together (Live Action Role Playing) since then. We’ve been lovers (honestly, he was one of the shittiest lays) way back when. I’m married. He’s been married, divorced, married again with a kiddo now. So it’s not like anything will ever happen. Even if we were both single. I’m seriously about him being a shitty lover. ::laughs:: My nickname for him (that he didn’t know about) was the jackhammer because that’s what he did for about 8 minutes and nothing else. ::cackles::

Clean Slate

written: June 26

Photo 87/1001

0087

Josey and her swiss cheese tiger blanket. She chews up any of the blankets in her kennel, but this one she had to drag out to chew it near me. ::laughs:: And you can see a tiny section of her bone collection in the background.

So I had a great post-op appointment with my Gyno today. She cracks me up. She said everything looks good and I’m now “cleared for legal activities”. ::laughs::

I then drove back to my lil hometown to get lunch at the best fried chicken place EVER. And then it was the drive back home to the metroplex. Sooooooooo much driving today.

Hazel and I had talked yesterday, while I was driving down to my hometown and she mentioned that she wanted to do a celebration of my new transformation (aka, good-bye Aunt Flo) which really got me to thinking about that as well. It is a big change and something I should do something to celebrate it. Honestly, I’m really itching for a whole new initiation and a new magickal name. I want a ritual to celebrate my choice to follow the path of the Warrioress instead of the Mother. I want a bad ass warrior name. Obviously, I can’t plan all of this out and get everything together in time for the upcoming full moon (Thursday), but I can certainly start planning it. I’m sure the new name and the date will come to me at some point. ::smiles:: So that’s in the works.

I decided to take Josey for a walk even though it was in the triple digits. Once back home, I decided to go ahead a hop on the elliptical and banged out 15 minutes on that. I know I’m going to feel that tomorrow, but for right now, it felt AMAZING. I feel like I finally have a handle on my life. It’s amazing how much it truly feels like a MASSIVE weight has been lifted off of me. I can breathe. I dunno. I feel LIBERATED to be honest. Like I can grab Life by the throat and shake it good.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018

Surrounded by Hotness

written: June 25

Photo 86/1001

0086

It’s hard to get a decent photo of my blue hair. I really need to touch up the blue as it’s really starting to fade out. Don’t get me wrong – I like my mermaid hair. But I would like it better if it was all blue again instead of fading into greens in places. ::chuckles::

I drove to my little hometown tonight. I have my appointment with the Gyno tomorrow for my post-op follow up. Mom’s out of the state currently, but luckily the window unit in the guest bedroom works might well, because my Momma don’t run the a/c most of the time. ::laughs:: And I’m terrible spoiled with the a/c.

I expect tomorrow’s appointment will go very well. I do plan to ask about the nausea from the anesthesia and what we can do about it for any future procedures. But other than that, I don’t really have any questions for her.

Holy crap, I have been absolutely inundated with sexy, bearded, tattoo-ed men today. I’m talking full sleeves tattoos. All over the damn place. It was getting hard to breathe with all the rampant sexiness going on at work. My focus certainly was all over the place! ::laughs:: Hell, there’s a guy that works with us…he’s older than my husband, but also ex-military (Army as well). And while he isn’t anything to be fawning over in the looks-department…his voice is so mellow and smooth…like fucking silk. All I wanted to do today was hear him laugh because I could only imagine what that would sound like.

Hell, I’m probably ovulating, which has my hormones all ramped the fuck up. These men have no idea how hot and bothered I was all damn day around them. And for whatever reason, they all needed to come talk to me multiple times throughout the day. Like I would just begin to get my lust under control and here would some new stud muffin to ask me a question. ::laughs::

Gyno better give me the all clear tomorrow because I apparently REALLY need to get laid! ::laughs:: The safety and well-being of some of my male coworkers depends on it!

Sunday, June 24, 2018

Spinning

Photo 85

20180624_175727

After an entire year since they were rudely torn up due to a busted water pipe, it seems my Wandering Jew plant is making a comeback. Yay! So when I water the iris plants, I make sure this little guy gets some water as well.

I’ve been in a funky head space for a few days now. Mostly pondering some shit that went down at work on Thursday with a male coworker who has ZERO filter. It’s like every little thought that goes through his head, he says it out loud with zero thought as to how it will be received. And talking to the other two high schoolers working with us that day, apparently this is just par for the course for this one. ::shakes her head::

I’m also in a highly confrontational mood. ::sighs:: Honestly, I am spending too much time on Facebook and I just can’t stomach the New Horrible Things ™ our government is doing. And I can’t stomach the reactions to it that people are sharing, bold as brass. I really just need to take a break from it all.

I finished reading An Exorcist Tells His Story, by Gabriele Amorth. Apparently, from his interactions with witches and sorcerers over in Italy, that is THE PLACE to make some serious money. He claims that our simple charms for health and luck, Italians will pay $5k MINIMUM for them! Shit, if that’s true, I need to go visit for like 2 months and I can get myself completely out of debt! And apparently “African or Brazilian Witch Doctors” (his terminology) in Italy outnumber Italians like 4 to 1, so I can only imagine how easy it would be to find a teacher of those arts there in Italy, as I’m selling my simple charms and magick for $5k. Interesting that in the heart of the Catholic empire, that’s where witchcraft is apparently doing BOOMING business. ::chuckles::

Speaking of witchcraft – I didn’t do shit for Litha (Summer Solstice). I had vague ideas to do something, but it never manifested. And honestly, I really like my blue altar cloth and didn’t want to swap it out for something fiery at this time. And, even more honestly, I was too lazy to do so. I really need to remind myself that I don’t actually have to DO anything. It’s not like I follow the pagan Wheel of the Year mythos at all. Instead, I should take those holy days as a day to reconnect with the natural cycles of the earth and my own life.

Full moon is coming up (Thursday). If nothing else, I would like to do some Oracle card reading. I really do like my Jade Oracle card deck. Maybe I can get together with Hazel and do a reading for her as well? She tends to do the readings most of the time – ok, she’s ALWAYS done the readings. ::laughs:: Hopefully, we can get together and just hang out if nothing else. I kind of feel like I’m just spinning my wheels, spiritually, at the moment.

Blah Book

written: June 23

Photo 84

20180623_100232

Taking a fun photo for the Hearth group. Nancy C. posted a photo of her with her coffee cup, wishing the group a good morning and a number of the other members had posted photos of them with their coffee cups. So I figured, why not? ::laughs:: Honestly, they post a lot of “good morning group” posts that I just don’t really understand the reason why…but I’m trying to make more of an effort to be a part of the group…so yeah. ::chuckles::

So my trade with Tanna arrived today. Love in a Bottle is a “meh” scent for me. I’ll wear at some point to see if that changes my mind about it. But just sniffing it from the bottle, I don’t really care for it. So it will go in my “to be traded” pile and I’ll wait until someone is actively seeking that perfume oil. And then I’ll see what new-to-me aroma I can get. Though, Tanna did kind of irk me. I shipped my part of the swap to her in one of the flat rate boxes. Yes, I am aware that it isn’t the cheapest way to ship them, but it is one of the fastest and safest ways. So she came on to thank me for the swap, but then wanted to tell me how I can save money shipping them a different way. I get it. I know all about it. But I chose to ship them the way I do. ::shrugs:: I don’t know why it irked me so bad, but I was very polite letting her know I already knew that info but thanks for telling me just in case.

I picked up the book Witchcraft: A Handbook of Magic, Spells, and Potions by Anastasia Greywolf from the public library. I don’t think I’ve been as utterly disappointed with a book right out of the gate like I am with this one. Granted, I don’t need a spell book, but I like seeing the ideas others have come up with – it tends to spark my own creativity in that realm. But half the spells in this book are Christian magick that invokes Jesus, God, and/or Mary. Count me out of that. And then the ones labeled “Gypsy” magick in some form, contain some form of animal sacrifice. I am not against animal sacrifice, as long as it serves a purpose, but it’s not something I see myself doing any time soon. At best, I would hunt a deer and use its death for magick, but also utilize the meat and hide and bones as well. So yeah, a quick flip through of this book, less than 5 minutes, and I want it gone.

Migraine

written: June 22

Photo 83

20180622_161820

Belated blessed Litha, the Summer Solstice. I made deviled eggs. They are yellow and round and delicious. ::laughs::

Ain’t my dog a sexy beast?!?!?!

20180622_110727

She was MIGHTILY unimpressed with the Install Guy that came today to put in our camera doorbell. We also got a Google Home Mini, but I don’t want it. Feel free to call me paranoid, but I don’t want the damn thing listening to everything I say. And it’s recently come out that Alexia does record everything you say around it and now people are scrambling to delete all of that stuff. So yeah, I don’t want any part of that, thank you very much.

After the Install Guy finally left, I got slammed with a migraine out of left field. Zero warning that it was coming on. I drank a glass of water, no change. I made a coffee since I hadn’t had any caffeine today, no change. I took one of my headache pills, drank some Gatorade, and tried to sleep it off – no change. I finally took one of my 800 milligram tablets of Motrin I have from my surgery and put an ice pack on my head. It’s finally begun to fade out.

Through all of that, I did manage to cook my Mom’s cheesy meatloaf for David. I made some minor modifications to it because I had to use what was on hand, but damn it smells amazing. I used ground turkey instead of beef, and breadcrumbs instead of oatmeal. All in all, super simple, and David loves it, so that’s a win for me. I had a tiny bit of it, but I’m not a fan of meatloaf, so it’s all for David.

Oh, and I finally got the billing question for my surgery straightened out. The use the date 01.01.1951 so they know it’s a pre-payment amount. And the missing $72 isn’t missing – it went to pay for the anesthesiologist. The lady I talked to explained that and honestly sound genuinely confused as to why it wasn’t expressed on my bill. I don’t care as long as the $72 goes to SOMETHING I owe. I just can’t have it poofing off into the ether.

Oh, and in other news, David and I have figured out that with the camera and the two-way microphone, we can talk shit to each other without having to be in the house together. ::laughs:: He can be outside and I can be inside, and we can shit talk each other the whole time. ::chuckles::

Friday, June 22, 2018

Thankful Thursday

written: June 21

Photo 82/1001

20180621_194232

Man, it is really hard to properly photograph Labradorite. I received this in a sample trade with another member of the Sage Goddess Perfume Trading group. She also sent some tea, a piece of tigers eye, some garnet chip stones, and some cone incense (didn’t say what kind of incense it is), along with the sample of Dea oil. I’m sending her one of my samples of Wild Woman oil (I am NOT a fan of it), some of the Winter Goddess bath salts, and some stones I received in another trade I did a while back.

I am thankful…
1. Mostly making friends at the Tech Job – between the Techs and the Temps, for the most part, they enjoy having me around. ::chuckles::
2. New, awesome a/c unit! I can even control the temperature of the house from my phone! I feel so fancy! ::laughs::
3. Trading off a bottle of Bonfire (it’s an ok aroma, but not one that I’m overly crazy about) for a new-to-me oil (Love in a Bottle).
4. Making it more of a point to speak up when someone is rude/disrespectful. I just wish Deity would stop sending me so many so I get all the “extra practice”. I’m more than a little tired of ugly people.
5. Able to do my New Moon ritual up in my room because the a/c works so well. I’m happy that I don’t have to lug everything down to the living room to do ritual and then lug it back up to my room when I’m done.
6. Received my mileage check from work. I won’t get rich off of it, but it’s $25 that I had forgotten I would receive.
7. Seeing parents of previous students of mine and getting to catch up a bit with them today.
8. Awesome flashy thunder and rainstorm that blew through last night. LOVE it!
9. The 7-11 by my house has madeleines. I’ve been treating myself to those every morning this week. ::chuckles::
10. My new-to-me car. Seriously love all the bells and whistles on it and am deeply grateful my mom gave it to me.

Hobbling

written: June 20

Photo 81/1001

20180620_190812

Mmm, Chick-fil-A. Yes, it’s the second time we’ve eaten there this week. But holy hell, today was a brutal day on both of us.

I spent the better part of yesterday, and ALL day today on my feet – and my body is SCREAMING at me. Everything from the soles of my feet up to my shoulders are killing me. Counting yesterday and today, I did over 550 MacBook Airs, and my body is feeling every single one of them. ::sighs:: Lots of repetitive lifting, moving, scanning, tagging, reboxing, and then shuffling them to a new pallet – the vast majority of it spent stooped over.

After dinner, David fell asleep while we were watching Jessica Jones. Most of the time, it would make me a bit grumpy (because I’m a spoiled brat, seriously), but today, I was like “Babe, take a nap. I’m going to take a hot bath”. And I hobbled upstairs with the book An Exorcist Tells His Story, by Gabriele Amorth – if you are reading it for the exorcism stuff, it’s a complete yawn fest; though if you are interested in Catholic philosophy on Satan/the Devil, Jesus, Mary, and demons, by all means, read it. I drew up a bath using Shift bath salts by Sage Goddess and just SOAKED. And when the water cooled off, I partially drained the tub and refilled it with hot water again. After that, I hobbled back downstairs and slathered doTerra Deep Blue Rub all over my knees.

I’m actually kind of happy that tomorrow I will be doing Deployment (handing out the new technology to the teachers that qualify for it) instead of working at the Warehouse. While I don’t care for dealing with the public, at least I will be SITTING down for the vast majority of it! Oh thank heavens for that miracle. Because I’m not sure I could do another day at the Warehouse with the Airs. I can hardly stand at this point, I am in so much pain.

Jennifer

written:  June 19

Photo 80/1001

20180619_194610

It’s an inside joke between my husband and I. Back when we first started dating, we joked about how terrible it is to call out the wrong person’s name during sex. So he decided he would just call me “Jennifer” and I decided I would call him “Brad” so it wouldn’t be a problem. ::laughs::

Roni (at the Tech Job) brought in drumstick ice cream cones. And then Ken (Tech Supervisor) brought in cookies as well. It was a nice break to just enjoy some sweets and relax for a moment. That job has been pretty taxing today. I’ve been on my feet on the hard concrete floor for the vast majority of the day. My knees and back aren’t overly happy with me. I’m tagging and scanning in all the new MacBook Airs we are getting in. Thankfully, the pack of teen boys we have working are unboxing the pallets of Airs for me, so I’m not having to do all of that. But still, tagging and reboxing and all of that is killing my back. This job always makes me realize how out of shape I am. ::chuckles::

Which brings me back to the hope I have that this ablation procedure will curtail my periods for a long time. That’s an entire week out of each month that I get back. That I can follow through with a work out plan. I’ve got my fingers crossed because I don’t want to do another 20+ years of this shit. It’s truly awful.

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Arctic Cool

written: June 18

Photo 79/1001

20180618_184722

I had forgotten to taken a photo for today. Luckily, I had taken this photo for a perfume oil swap I’m doing. I’m trading my bottle of Bonfire for a bottle of Love in a Bottle. I’ve never smelled Love in a Bottle, but it’s an oil that seems to be in high demand in the swap group. So I figure it’s a good one to take a risk on.

My gyno called today to let me know that the two polyps she removed during my ablation – one from inside my uterus (I knew about this one) and one on the interior of my cervix (didn’t know about this one). Thankfully, they turned out to be benign. I didn’t even think about the possibility they could have been malignant! Honestly, I’m glad I didn’t know that was a possibility. I would have been crazy stressed over that for damn sure and I didn’t need anything else on my plate. So yay! Still cancer free!

David worked from home today and was able to get someone out to look at the a/c. It’s been struggling with the heat and not doing a super good job either. Turns out, it’s on its last leg and is a pretty big safety issue. So yeah, on Wednesday we are getting a new a/c unit. Until then, they pumped ours full of coolant and damn, it is working SO NICE. It’s actually COLD in my room. Soooo nice! So yes, I’m looking forward to the prospect of having a nice, working a/c unit again. Hell, I can resume doing ritual work in my room again! Hurray!

Being Watched

written: June 17

Photo 78/1001

20180617_160439

I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m being watched…..
Guess I should stop reading the book on exorcisms. ::laughs::

Though seriously, the book I’m currently reading – An Exorcist Tells His Story by Gabriele Amorth? It sucks. It sucks so bad. But, on the flip side, I’ve learned a lot about the Catholic viewpoint on Christ, God, the Devil, and where humans fit into everything. Soooo, I guess that’s a plus? And man, this guy seems to think Witch Doctors are crazy plentiful, especially in Italy. ::chuckles:: Seriously, at this point, I’m just trying to power through it so I can finish the damn book. This will certainly NOT be a book that I will re-read anytime in the future. I dunno. I was expecting more talk about the actual exorcisms and less on the Catholic doctrine and theory behind Satan/devil/demons/etc.

Today is Father’s Day, historically a day I don’t do well with. At least this year, I wasn’t actively avoiding Facebook just so I wouldn’t have to see all the “yay for my dad being so fucking AMAZING” posts. I mean, they still irk me. It still stings that it’s something I won’t ever be able to claim for myself. But I could at least be happy for those with good relationships with their fathers. So I guess that’s progress? Maybe in another 20 years I can let go of all the anger/jealous and it can just be another day on the calendar and not one that rubs me the wrong way.

I’ve started a new Pinterest board (shocker) revolving around my possible Harpy costume for the Witches’ Ball in October. I’m not a super craft do-it-yourself-er, but I’m willing to try. It will be a crap ton cheaper to do it myself, but I worry how well my “skills” will translate over into the real world. ::chuckles:: Guess we’ll see how it goes. Wish me luck!

Saturday, June 16, 2018

Flipping Tables

Photo 77/1001

20180616_210100

Ducky Dino and the Hawk oil from Sage Goddess I was talking about in my Thankful Thursday list. Seriously fucking love this one.

Gave some more thought to setting up a temporary altar/working space down here in the living room for when I need to do rituals and/or spell work. And David has a table out there set up for one of the TV speakers that would work just dandy. I would just need to remember to bring down the art board that I used for my Rail Road Spike ritual – it stays under my altar currently, that way any leftover energy raised during ritual can be sent into it. It has the sigils for each of the four rail road spikes, so any energy directed to those sigils, move on to the sigils on those individual spikes, thus powering the rail road spikes to do what they are charged to do. ::smiles:: One of my more ingenious witchery spells, if I do say so myself. And I have a medium sized plastic bin that sits in front of my altar that I use as a spell working platform because it’s the perfect height for me to sit on the floor and use it as a level surface. It would be quite easy to simply pack what I need for the working into that bin and bring it downstairs. This just might work out.

I got my bill today from my Doctor for her portion of the ablation. And you bet your ass I’ll be calling her on Monday about it. there are a few things I need clarification on immediately.

First off, it says my surgery deposit (of $1,008.57) was posted on January 1, 1951 – THIRTY years before I was even born? Hell, my MOM wasn’t born yet at that point.
And then it says I made a payment on June 5th (which I did) – but they are claiming it was only for $778. Um, bitch, I have the cancelled check that you cleared for $850. Where did the other $72 go??? I know, it may not sound like a lot, but I make roughly $23k a year. That $72 is a sizeable chunk to me. I need to know where the fuck that disappeared to and why it is NOT being applied to my balance. But of course, I have to wait until Monday before I can talk to someone about it. I’m doing my best not to get too bent out of shape about it yet. There’s no point to doing that at this moment. Just gotta breathe and wait until Monday. Then I can flip shit as needed.

Crazy Friday

written: June 15th

Photo 76/1001

20180615_184348

Josey was fully ridged up and barking at this in the kitchen. Apparently, she’s not used to clean dishes being in the kitchen drainer. ::laughs:: Guess that says something about how often we hand-wash dishes here.

So yay! Day off of work because the Tech Job doesn’t work Fridays (currently). But of course, the smoke detector outside my bedroom decided to start its low battery chirping at 5 am. Thankfully, David got up and helped me out with it because I couldn’t figure it out for the life of me. So, to show my gratitude, I picked up two cakes from the Nothing Bundt Cake store – red velvet and confetti. Can’t wait to eat those! We half them so that we get to enjoy both flavors.

I accidentally skipped my past two doses of pain medication. I was planning on getting sushi today after I printed some stuff out at Kinkos. But the pain and nausea really kicked it into high gear. And I couldn’t bear the thought of throwing up good sushi, so I opted to come home, eat something really quick, take my pain pill, and head to bed instead. Napping didn’t quite work out, but enough to let the nausea subside, so I guess that’s a win.

The heating pad Mom bought me arrived today. I’ll have to test it out later, as it’s incredibly hot already. Yay Texas. Fuck, it’s only JUNE and already the heat is oppressive. I’m terrified of August for damn sure. Really wish we could have a basement. That’s where I would retreat to for damn sure all summer long.

Hell, I haven’t even done my New Moon ritual because it requires me to turn off the ceiling fan, or at least turn it way down, just so I can light some candles and the incense. Man, I should just set up a temporary altar downstairs whenever I need to do ritual and just do it down here. Because, up in my room, if that ceiling fan isn’t on top speed, after about 20 minutes, I have sweat rolling down my back. And I’m pretty sure having a heat stroke while using a ritual blade is beyond dangerous. ::chuckles::

Thankful Thursday

written: June 14

Photo 75/1001

20180614_192514

Holly’s crepe myrtle is really blooming nicely.

I am thankful….
1. That my endometrial ablation went well and the recovery has been pretty good.
2. To be back at the Tech Job. I’ve missed working with Sandy and Roni.
3. The healing power of blueberry waffles and Mom’s homemade Chex mix. It’s the only thing I could eat and keep down due to the anesthesia sickness.
4. My blue hair. Man, I have gotten so many compliments on it. I wish I could do my entire head. It’s gorgeous.
5. Getting to work with and getting to know Zane (one of the Techs). She’s a crazy hard worker and sharp as a tack. Just love her and I find her vastly fascinating.
6. Received another pen pal letter today. I love receiving them. I just need to get better on replying to them! ::laughs:: I have 3 now that I need to reply to.
7. How awesome the Hawk: A Spirit Animal Blend oil from Sage Goddess smells. It was the last “fun” purchase I did before my surgery and holy crap. It smells amazing. Closer to my original Wolf Spirit oil. ::smiles::
8. David paid for us to order some of the Crisp Apple Gatorade we love so much and more hot chocolate mix on Walmart. As long as the order is over $35, we get free shipping. AND if we gave them an extra day to deliver the Gatorade, it would save us $5, so we jumped on that. Yay!
9. Getting information on the Witches’ Ball later on this year. Hazel’s planning to go and if we fib and say we’re a couple, it will save us $10 on tickets. So, hell yeah, we are gonna say we’re a couple! ::laughs::
10. And Hazel’s said she wants to go with me to the Gem and Mineral show at the end of the month again (it’s the same one we went to last year). I really want to get one of the pyrite sand dollars this year. Those were so amazing looking last year and I thought it would be a perfect thing on my altar for Sekhmet. So, fingers crossed that they are similarly priced and that I can find a good one this year.

Wednesday, June 13, 2018

New Moon

Photo 74/1001

20180613_185622

Getting ready for the New Moon.
Gypsy Moon in Hazel’s new Facebook group showed how she would make holes in her candles so she could then put the appropriate oils and herbs in them to empower the candle even more. So I thought that would be an excellent way to kick up my own candles a notch. Plus, I have all of these awesome scented oils for a wide array of uses, so why not use them? So I’ve dressed my new moon candle (shown in the photo), plus my Sekhmet candle (using the Sekhmet oil made at the Sekhmet Temple). I’m excited to test them out. ::smiles:: And I’m using the match spell again, to hopefully draw to me the money to be able to pay off my hospital bill. I’m not usually one for a lot of spell work. But man, this situation is a bit out of my grasp right now and I can use all the mojo I can get to help me figure out how I’m going to pay for something that’s costing about a THIRD of what I make in a year.

First day back at the Tech Job was good. I text my Mom, saying I should have taken the heating pad she offered me…not for my surgery cramps, but for my back! ::laughs:: She’s graciously offered to buy me on Amazon (she has Amazon Prime) and have it shipped to me. So I’ll have one by Friday. Yay! Again, my Mom is frickin’ AMAZING.

I’m staying a little late at work each day. It certainly won’t make me rich any time soon, but fuck, money is money. And every little bit counts. Besides, most of this work is just tedious – not overly physically taxing. So yeah, any time I CAN stay a little late at work, I will. Besides, we are going to need to get as much done as humanly possible, since summer break is SO short this year and there is SO much that has to be done.

It seriously sucked balls to be up, at work, at 7:30 am – I am NOT a morning person. But hey, you do what you gotta do to make that money.

Hazel and I will possibly be going to the Witches’ Ball in October. I’m super excited about the possibility of going. I’ve wanted to go for ages. I already have the mask – my beloved Harpy Eagle mask. Now I just need a black dress or robe to go with it. Hopefully we can find that thrift shopping sometime between now and then. Plus she’ll need a costume as well. I know, here I was just talking about how I’ve gotta save my money and now I’m taking of going to a ball – but fuck man, you have to have a little fun every now and then or you just go fucking crazy. And I’m still holding on to my dream of doing my Vision Quest next summer as well. I just have to have faith that it will all work out in the end. Where there is a Will and a Witch…there is a Way.

Stronger

written: June 12

Photo 73/1001

20180612_203251

A kick ass book I just finished reading. Seriously, GET THIS BOOK NOW! I checked this one out of the public library and plan to buy myself a copy as soon as I humanly can. Oh my goodness, I just found out there will be a sequel coming out next year! I can’t wait!

I learned something really interesting yesterday. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for, and my pain tolerance is much higher than other people’s. The nurses and doctor kept telling me that the cramping would be awful and that a heating pad would be my BEST FRIEND EVER after the ablation. And when the nurse inserted 2 pills up my hoo-ha to start dilating my cervix (which, damn lady, use some fucking lube and don’t brutalize my hoo-ha – she’s a delicate flower and you beat her up!), told me that cramping could get bad, but to just page the nurses and they would help out with that. ::shrugs:: Honestly, the cramping was on par for my normal cramping level, so by the time I even noticed that I WAS cramping, it would subside. And honestly, today? I could probably have skipped the pain killers (800 mg tablets of Motrin, so it’s not like they went crazy with the drugs or anything), but I didn’t want to risk it start hurting during the 3.5 hour drive back home.

Which then got me to thinking of other times that people have tried to make me less-than and how I ended up showing them up. Made me want to call up my shrink and flaunt the fact that when she was telling me I should drop one of my classes this semester because she didn’t feel I was strong enough, not only did I keep up with the two courses, but I somehow managed to pull out a fucking 4.0 AND kept most of my sanity to boot. So HA! In Yo Face!

And brought me back to the “short-comings” she saw in my marriage as well. And just pooh on that. Just reminds me that I DO dance to the beat of a different drummer and that is PERFECTLY OK. We don’t all have to do everything the same damn way as everyone else. As long as it works for YOU and doesn’t harm others? Fuck, go for it!

But I’m done with accepting others’ conformity. I understand that they are speaking from their experience and their perspective. And, if it’s something I haven’t done or experienced previously, I will certainly heed their words of advice. But it doesn’t make their experience/advice LAW for me. And that’s perfectly fine.

The follow-up nurse called me today, asking how I was doing. She inquired in the cramping today was “especially bad”. And when I told her that honestly, my normal cramps were worse than what I was currently experiencing, she was quiet for a few seconds and then just said “Oh, honey.” Like, I knew they were awful, because I was enduring them, but I thought everyone’s were at my level. But apparently mine are GOD AWFUL enough that nurses were shocked when I said the post-surgery was better than my normal periods. ::shakes her head:: And it pisses me off because there is such a stigma surrounding menstruation and we aren’t talking about this shit. So how many other women are out there, suffering GOD AWFUL periods, not knowing any better?? I’m just really angry that we are taught from a young age that “suffering” is just part of the package deal here. I can already tell you, I will be having discussions with my Lil Niece when she’s of age, and making sure she knows that she could always come talk to me about anything like that, because the last thing I want is for her to suffer through crap because she just doesn’t know any better. Of course, I’ll loop Lindsay (my Sis-in-law and mother of said niece) on anything serious. But hell, I am already planning to be that crazy hippy aunt already, so I figure this will just be par for the course! ::chuckles::

Blueberry Waffles & Chex Mix

written: June 11

Photo 72/1001

20180611_160822

I know. Yesterday was the 10th, which is my Selfie day. But the baby barn swallows stole the show. So here is my SEXY legs in their compression socks, post-surgery. ::laughs:: Ain’t they GORGEOUS?!?!?!

I sent this photo to my husband to let him know I was ok – mostly. Anesthesia kicked my ass seven ways to Sunday and then back again, I swear! The surgery itself and all that jazz? A fucking walk in the park. But holy hell, I’m on my way to AMAZING abs with all the seizing my stomach has done today to rid itself of ANYTHING it possibly can. ::shakes her head:: Yeah, I will be talking that over with my doc at my follow-up appointment and see what we can do in the future to minimize that, because it SUCKED SO MUCH ASS.

Major kudos to my Mom for getting up crazy early to drive me over there. To then sit in the room with me for 3 hours waiting for the doc to come get me. And then getting my meds. And then hanging out with all the throwing up and sleeping I was doing. To then drive me back home (threw up twice) and send my punk ass to bed. To THEN wake up at 3 am, to make sure I took my pain meds on schedule. That is some heroic stuff there, lemme tell you!

Apparently the secret food to getting over Anesthesia sickness is blueberry waffles (plain – no butter or syrup) and my Mom’s homemade chex mix and a lot of sleeping. ::chuckles:: Or at least, that’s what is working for me at the moment!

Wee Baby

written: June 10

Photo 71/1001

20180610_190827

A nest of barn swallows on my Mom’s porch. The lil guy on the far right had decided to leave the nest super early to start exploring. I put him back in the nest and while he did his damnest to eat my thumb, I told him he needed to wait a little bit longer before setting out to explore the great big world. I do hope he’ll stay in the next until he’s flight feathers come in.

So yeah, I’m down in my little hometown, hanging out with my Mom. My ablation procedure/surgery is tomorrow. I’m nervous, but not overly anxious thankfully. Honestly, I’m just ready for it to be over and done with so I can start the healing process and begin NOT having periods of doom. Hopefully, if everything goes WELL, I won’t have ANY more periods. Gods, that would be such a blessing.

Saturday, June 9, 2018

Self-Care

Photo 70/1001

20180609_150758

Even our little basil plant is in bloom. ::smiles::

Man, I can tell how stressed out I have been by how little self-care I actually do for myself.
I got a shower today. I used some OLD Bath & Body Works sugar scrub that I need to buy some more of (I finished this container off today). And I used some nice (expensive) hair conditioner that my Mom’s given to me ages ago. I finally finished off that bottle so I can start on the WHOLE other one that she also gave me. Damn, my Momma spoils me so much. And I’m deeply grateful for everything she does for me.

I’m in full PMS mode as well. ::sighs:: That probably won’t go away even with the ablation procedure. Guess I’ll still need to keep up with my cycle just to know when I’m going to be grumpy, irritated, and devouring all the carbs in sight. But I’m really hoping with the ablation procedure, I can finally start a good workout schedule and finally be able to STICK with it. because, right now, no matter how dedicated I am, once Shark Week rolls around, I do not work out for about a week. I just can’t. ::shakes her head:: My MoonTime is just that damn brutal currently. So hopefully, this will give me that break from it so that I can really start focusing on working out and HOPEFULLY start shedding some weight and strengthening my old lady knees.

I was hoping to do the Whole 30 this summer, but with my finances being in the toilet, I’m not sure how well I’d be able to afford that. Because crap food is cheap food, and cheap food is what I can afford currently.

SLEEP

written: June 08


Photo 69/1001

20180608_111707

The fabulous black diamond crape myrtle that we planted in Holly’s memory is finally blooming. I don’t think I will ever get tired of those rocket red blossoms. I can’t wait to see the myrtle fully blooming.

Man, for my first day off of work, I had all sorts of great plans of things to do. But what did I actually do? I took a 3-hour nap and woke up with a headache. At that point, I ended up watching a handful of episodes of The Following on Netflix. I guess I really needed the rest.

And then the hospital called, that I’m having my procedure done at, to tell me that there’s been a change in appointment times. Now I’m supposed to sign in at 7 am instead of 7:30 am. Which, wouldn’t be a big deal, except that my mom lives an hour-and-a-half away from the hospital. Which now means we have to leave the house at 5:30 am. And I’m NOT a morning person. ::chuckles:: But hopefully this means we will be done sooner and then can just come home and nap as needed. Fingers crossed for a positive outcome!

I came across an article about frugal witchcraft – using wooden matches for a simple, straight-forward spell craft. And I actually HAVE some nice wooden matches that I got along with a Yule candle I ordered ages ago. I’m not a huge match user – I prefer lighters because they are so much more convenient, but I’ve held onto the matches because you never know when they may be useful. Turns out, it just took me a few years to figure out what they were useful for! ::laughs:: So yeah, I’ll be doing that for a successful surgery AND to call in the monies to help pay for said surgery. Where there is a will, there WILL be a damn way. I’m far too stubborn to allow for anything else.

Friday, June 8, 2018

Final Day

written: June 07

Photo 68/1001

20180607_205133

A slab of petrified palm wood that belonged to my maternal grandmother.

I am thankful….
1. To have survived the final day of the school year and that my afterschool program is officially over until the school year starts back up in August.
2. Kick ass storm that blew through during the final hours of my afterschool program. I got soaked trying to get stuff out to my car, but so worth it.
3. Got everything squared away for my upcoming surgery. I have my fingers crossed that this procedure will be a resounding success and I won’t have to deal with periods anymore!
4. The new FB group is so much better than the previous drama-bomb group.
5. That my aide Anthony won’t be coming back next year. He’s going to college about four hours away, so he won’t be back. He started off pretty good, but turned into a total douche bag there towards the end. So no, I won’t miss him one bit.
6. Esmeralda, my supervisor, complimented me on my blue hair. ::laughs:: And here I thought I was being a rebel! Though, I’m sure she’d had a different response if this was the BEGINNING of the school year, instead of the end.
7. The new-to-me Honda Civic my mom gave me. She bought my late aunt’s car, gave me her car, and will be selling my old Honda Civic. This car has POWER LOCKS! Like, I can’t tell you how excited I am over that. ::laughs::
8. And that my mom covered the out-of-pocket, gotta-be-paid-up-front cost of my surgery that took us BOTH by surprise on Monday. Granted, it’s getting added to what I owe her for the class I had to drop a few semesters back, and I could have covered the cost, but it would have drained me significantly financially. So I am deeply grateful for her aid in that matter as well.
9. For the gratitude various parents and students expressed…especially those who will be going on to middle school next year. Working with children really can be quite a thankless job, so any gratitude shown is NEVER a wasted gesture.
10. A slight break in the triple digit temperatures. Man, I have a feeling this summer is going to be a brutal one.

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

End of Year Party Day

Photo 67/1001

20180606_101229

Lovely little yellow flower (not a dandelion) framed nicely by a dead branch from a Douglas pear tree (complete rubbish tree as one of my neighbors learned when his massive one split completely off at the trunk during a rainstorm).

Today was a crazy ass day but it ended up being so much better than I thought it would be. We did our End of the Year party today at the after school program, so hopefully TOMORROW (last day of school!), the kiddos will elect to simply go home with their parents after their class parties and not come to the program at all. A handful of students I already know won’t be there tomorrow. I’m just hoping and praying and hoping some more that it will be like last year’s last day – where less than a third of my kiddos were at the program that day. Don’t get me wrong – I seriously do enjoy my students. But holy hell, can it be summer break yet?????

So Cici’s pizza and cinnamon rolls, plus soda and chips today. It’s crazy getting that all squared away for 66 students. But at the end of the day, it all went pretty smoothly and we didn’t get ANY pizza on the floor. That’s a miracle in and of itself. I think this is the first year that’s occurred. Yay!

Now tomorrow, we have two movies we are gonna put on for the kiddos. They can play in the gym or hang out in the cafeteria (watch the movie, draw/color, or play games). I have the bulk of the paperwork all alphabetized and sorted. I’ve printed out my mileage form and signed it. So all I have to do tomorrow is the final day’s paperwork, hang out with my kiddos one last time, and then gather up the computers and stuff and take it all to the main office after the last student leaves.

Tuesday Drama

written June 05

Photo 66/1001

20180605_171745

CUPCAKES. The vanilla ones were TO DIE FOR. Soooooo good. And I’m proud of myself that I only ate one. ::chuckles::

So apparently Anthony, who was out on Friday because he has mono, came in yesterday even though his doctor’s note says he’s not cleared to come back to school/work until WEDNESDAY. Did he just infect my entire damn campus??? ::sighs:: I called Esmeralda about and I knew most likely we wouldn’t get a sub, but dude, it’s worth it to hopefully keep the rest of my staff from getting MONO. Fucking dumb ass.

I ended up leaving the Cauldron group. I watched Derrie’s poor-pitiful-me video that sorta/kinda apologized about LYING to and about various members for the sole purpose of stirring up drama….and then watched her turn it all around say how horrible a person she is and blah-blah-blah. Basically, turning it all back around to get people to feel sorry for her. Fuck that noise. And then she made a couple of posts about how she should just delete the group…basically fishing for people to beg her to keep the group going and assure her that she’s a good person. And just, fuck that noise. I was the fuck out of there. Tara (one of the former members of the Cauldron that I just ADORE) reached out and let me know some of them had gotten together and started their own lil Facebook group. Apparently a handful of people were inquiring about me by name, so she was asking if I would be interested in joining. I was hoping they had started another group because I was sad to lose them, so I happily said I would love to be a part of the group. And already, I can feel the difference. It feels so warm and inviting. I am still very much the black sheep of the group, being that I adhere to a lot of the Left-Hand Path philosophy, but I still feel welcomed and valued. It’s a really nice feeling.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Blind-Sided

Photo 65/1001

20180604_211022

Dinner tonight. Man, I love the Zataran’s Blacked Chicken Alfredo. I get this amazing alfredo in less than 20 minutes.

Loooong day. I met with my gyno today to talk about my upcoming ablation procedure. And then I went over to the hospital to actually set up my surgery. And that’s when I got hit with a ton of bricks. My part of the surgery, payable to the HOSPITAL, is around $5,500. And this is SEPARATE from the $1,200 I owe my gyno and the anesthesiologist. ::sighs:: And yeah, they wanted me to pay a percentage of it before I have my surgery. IN A DAMN WEEK. Like, what the fuck?? ::grumbles::

But thank god that I have health insurance, because if I was paying the whole thing – we’re talking a little over $44,000. Yeah, I didn’t misplace a decimal there – $44k. Like more than DOUBLE what I make in a damn year. So I don’t even want to imagine how expensive a hysterectomy would be!

Apparently, a MASSIVE drama bomb went off in the Cauldron group on Facebook over the weekend. Mom’s internet is down, so my internet time was super limited, so I have no clue exactly went down. And honestly, I’m not even sure I care at this point. It’s not like this group has exactly enriched my life at all. I figure I’ll watch all the drama videos and then probably peace out.

Prank

written: June 03

Photo 64/1001

20180603_201514

Fake snake I picked up at the dollar store that I’m going to use to prank Anthony (one of my aides). He’s been a bit of a turd lately, so I figured this would be a fun way to break the tension. ::chuckles:: And it’s just the right level of cruelty as well, which is always a bonus.

Saturday, June 2, 2018

Feral

I just finished thumbing through Halloween: Customs, Recipes, and Spells by Silver RavenWolf. I wasn’t holding out a whole lot of hope, but damn, I thought I would get more out of the book than I did. ::shakes her head:: It’s a good book for the beginner witch that wishes to learn the back-story and lore of the evolution of Halloween as we know it. But for anyone that’s been actively practicing for a few years, most of the stuff I just wasn’t interested in at all. I only took ONE thing away from the whole book – a simple Samhain Protection Powder because it was simple and I already have like 80% of the ingredients. ::chuckles:: But it seems to be a cool little powder that I wouldn’t mind making up some to send out to friends as well.

I’m still plugging away at the book Wicca: Another Year and a Day by Timothy Roderick. I will say, I probably should have read the first book he wrote (Wicca: A Year and a Day) because he references it very heavily. But at least he has the bulk of his references listed in the back as Appendixes, so I’m not completely in the dark. And honestly, I’m just reading that one to see if there are any suggestions he makes that I would want to incorporate into my own practice.

But reading his book has made me realize that British Wicca (like the Gardnerian or Alexandrian Lineages) are not for me. I’m not all about the “thou” and “thee” and “knowest”, etc. I’m sure their rituals are beautiful and the poetry they speak has the ability to bring about major transformation. But, that just ain’t me. If I could figure out how to do an entire ritual with howls, growls, and yips, you get your ass, that’s the way I would do it. ::laughs:: I dunno – British Wicca just seems so…..refined and proper. And I’m just fully feral here. ::chuckles::

BUT, at least I’m figuring out what I am NOT interested in. Helps shuck away the unused parts so that I can hone down on the meat of my practice instead.

Photo 63/1001

20180602_151136

A lovely feather gift from my pen-pal, Sorrow.

Pythia

written: June 01

Photo 62/1001

20180601_200242

I FINALLY got my hands on a bottle of the Pythia perfume oil by Sage Goddess. I traded my bottle of Dragon perfume oil that I didn’t really care for. So really, it didn’t cost me anything other than shipping. It’s a much lighter, cleaner scent than I was anticipating. And it doesn’t have very long staying power. So this oil will most likely be regulated to ritual use only.

I have received so many compliments on my blue hair. Normally, I would want nothing more than to NOT stand out, but I’m loving this right now.

I buried the ash from last night’s ritual in my flower bed. As the flowers grow, so does the magic the sigil encompasses. I need to write it all down and get it into my damn, super-neglected Grimoire.

I also need to see if my mom still has her Kindle. If she does, and isn’t using it, I may see if she’ll let me have it. The local library has a ton of Pagan books available as eBooks and it would just be easier to read them on an actual Kindle instead of my cell phone. AND they have a bunch of beginner drawing books as well that I want to try my hand at this summer.