Journaling

I am working more on doing things that calm me down. That center me. I have dusted off my art journal and have been writing in it. It was supposed to travel around the country in one of my journal swaps, but I’ve elected to put the swap on hold right now, since everything keeps changing every hour it seems. So instead, I’m working in it myself.

Page I did yesterday:



And I came across this on Facebook and whole-heartedly agree with it:



I know one of my blogging buddies here, Annie, is a historian and is all about documenting our personal lives right now and to ensure it gets to a historical society at some point. She recommends to document your thoughts and feelings about things. Observations – like things that are out of the ordinary but also things that are still normal. Write about yourself to ensure future readers know who wrote it and what your perspective is. Young historians will utilize this primary source in the future.

So yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m doing throughout the day. I also came across a YouTube video about The Huge Sketchbook Challenge. The premise is to fill in The Giant Sketchbook…..in 30 days. An impressive feat for sure. I’m tweaking it and wanting to fill up the Moleskin journal I’m currently using. About a fourth of it has been used (if that much), and I started it in 2016. Yeah, I’m terrible at working in various journals throughout the year, so any one journal can span multiple years easily. ::chuckles:: And they all overlap as well.

But, seeing as how I’m stuck at home until at least April 17th (at the moment), I want to really push myself to do more art journaling. I also want to watch some of the “how to draw” videos as well, and get that going.

Shelter In Place

Well, I’m working from home now.  Yesterday, the city went ahead and closed the library completely.

From home, I will be working on making sample crafts for the rest of the year’s preschool story times.  Not a bad gig, if I do say so myself.  And I’ll be working on April and May’s book orders as well.

But yeah….we have NO idea when we’ll be back in the building.

And then there was a major hiccup with my mood stabilizer.  I’ve been trying to get it refilled for a few days now.  I take it twice a day, and took the last dose I have this morning.  So yeah, I was beginning to panic because taking a mood stabilizer away from me right now?  That I would have to quit cold turkey?  Yeah, I don’t see that going over too well for me. 

But after calling my doctor’s office and then the pharmacy AGAIN…we’ve got it straightened out.  Plus, my doctor has approved it for a 90-day supply, which will be a huge relief.  I’ll be able to pick that up in a half hour.  So that’s a massive weight off of my shoulders.

We had our first Work Zoom conference today.  As of right now, we’re doing that only as needed.

I’ve made a list of things to do during the Quarantine Times.

I need to make a list of things I want to journal about as well, because I have really fallen off that bandwagon.

Essential

Yeah, left that last entry on a bit of a cliff-hanger.

David is one of two Techs kept on.  And he’s only taking a 10% pay cut.  Which, from what he’s hearing, is really good.  Apparently the other people that were allowed to stay on were given 30-40% pay cut, so we are very grateful.  He’ll be working from home still, but working 8 am to 5 pm.  Which sucks for him because he is NOT a morning person what-so-ever.

As of right now, I will be heading in to work tomorrow.  Though I’m sure that could change by the end of the week.  But for now, I am doing my best to focus on what I can control and letting go of what I cannot.  I am compiling a list of projects to do if I do end up stuck at home.  If that happens, I should be able to accomplish quite a few of my Birthday Goals and my 101 Goals as well, if I end up stuck at home for a while.  I just hope I get paid during that time. 

We had a Coven chat earlier today via Zoom.  It was really nice to “see” everyone and talk about witch things for a while.  At this point, my Beltane ritual has been cancelled.  We are hoping to still do the Summer Solstice ritual, but that hinges 100% on how the world is doing at that point.

Dallas County has issued a Shelter In Place.  Only “essential” personnel are to be out and about.  I won’t lie…I was kind of hoping this mean I could stay home.  But the Director just said we will be reporting to work in the morning.  I guess we are considered “essential”.  ::smiles::

No Camera Time

Yeah, I lost the inspiration/steam to continue writing yesterday.

Hubs was given the news that his company is going to be putting a number of their employees on furlough for at least a month. And the ones not on furlough will most likely have their hours and/or pay cut. Fingers crossed that he’s one that gets to stay on and that the pay cut isn’t too severe. So yeah, after hearing that, depression and anxiety spiked through the roof and I just wasn’t motivated to write anything else.

Hazel Nut lost her job. So she’s bummed and scared (understandably so). But decided to turn it around and be a ray of positive energy in her little neighborhood. She went around, checking on her neighbors and letting them know they can contact her if they need anything. She said she got a really amazing response and that all the neighbors are pulling together to help each other out.

Other than that, I’m just hanging out here in limbo, waiting to hear if we will be working in the Library next week or if we are going to fully close. Honestly, part of me wants it to just close down. Then I can build a blanket fort at home and just read, and work in my journals, and REST. The stress has been making itself very apparent in my dreams.

Oh which reminds me. So the Director (whom I adore) thought it would be a great idea to do virtual story times. Meaning the story time would be recorded and put up on our Facebook page. Yeah, that is a hard no from me. The last thing I need right now is my Psycho Ex randomly coming across the video and thinking I was doing the story time for HIM. That would lead to him randomly showing up, as I have him blocked in every manner possible.

Yeah, maybe I’m being a bit overly paranoid. But the worst case scenario is that he WOULD show up at my work, and let me tell you, I have no idea how my fight or flight instinct would kick in. And I’ve worked very hard to ensure I have zero contact with him, which has led to him being out of my life for the past 10 years. But with the way his mind works, all it would take is one simple acknowledgement, and he would be right back, thinking we are meant to be together.

So yeah, I told my Director that while I had no problem writing the story times and getting everything together for that, that I would NOT be the one on video. Period. Besides, Dustin loves doing that stuff, so he volunteered. The Director hinted and joked for a while that they would get me on camera. I was debating if I should have a sit down talk and tell her WHY that would not be happening. But honestly? I don’t want to bring that shit into my job. And I shouldn’t have to justify why I don’t want to be on video when there are people who enjoy being in the lime light and have volunteered to do so. I don’t OWE her an explanation. And my refusal should be enough. Thankfully, after those two days, all discussion of me being the one on camera have ceased completely.

Pixel Art

written: March 19

Welp, obviously that whole “write every day” thing didn’t work out for me.
March....threw us one hell of a curve ball, eh?

My Library closed to the public on Friday, the 13th. We’ve been closed to the public ever since. We’ve been working only Monday through Friday. Which, I mean, it’s nice to have the weekend completely off…but there isn’t anything to do because just about everything is locked down.

As of right now, my Library is still open to staff. But we don’t know for how long.

And yes, I’m stressed, but not terribly so. I’ve been doing a lot of pixel art to center myself.