Ok, brain weasels are out in full force, so this may be all over the damn place. So, I apologize in advance if nothing make sense, or it goes totally off the rails. But, just in case, Yes, I am safe. No I am not a danger to myself or to others. Good? Good. Let’s dive in, shall we?
Oh my lort, I randomly stumbled across the book Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things, by Jenny Lawson, and absolutely FELL IN LOVE with her, with her style of writing, with her zest for living, and with her ability to put my mental struggles and just my day-to-day-ness of living in my head, down on paper. I immediately recommended it to my Mom so she could have a general concept of what is going on in my head most of the time. She’s a neurotypical, so while she’s come to really understand how to work with my neurodiverse brain, she doesn’t know what it’s like to actually BE neurodiverse. I have since recommended it to a ton of other people who are currently reading it as well. And I ordered a hardback copy for myself (I read it as an e-book through the Library), because this is a book I am going to reread and highlight and scribble notes in and all of that. And, since Jenny Lawson is a TEXAN, I’m keeping an eye out so that when she does another book tour, I can take that marked up copy to have her sign.
But I will warn you. If you read this book (and you TOTALLY should, regardless of where you fall on the neuro-spectrum, there is a TON of great information in there and it’s SO FUCKING HILARIOUS), DO NOT eat or drink while reading this book. Her humor will catch you off guard and you WILL choke and/or spray said food and/or drink everywhere. Even though my brain works fairly similar to the author’s brain, she would still catch me with a left hook I never even saw coming, and I would be curled up under my desk with my hands clapped over my mouth, struggling not to ugly cackle about something utterly INSANELY HILARIOUS she’s said. Legit DANGEROUS to eat or drink while reading anything she’s written. But so fucking worth it.
So yeah, brain weasels – they are not playing nice this week at all. Anxiety and paranoia are running pretty high and brain is trying its damnedest to spiral down. So I’ve been focusing on a lot of zentangle type of art. It tends to soothe my brain weasels and give them something to focus on OTHER than being a total dick. But yeah, when I’m NOT hyperfocused on something, shit gets real dark, real fast in my headspace. Ah, the joys of chemical imbalances in the brain. I should probably talk to my doctor about increasing one or more (or all?) of my meds. Because that’s the other fun part of mental disorders…they “evolve”. Bastards. So of course, this means your medication regiment as to evolve and change and adapt as well.
Ah, fun news – Hubs built me some shelves for my working altar. It’s originally a desk and had this open area in the center for a computer screen or laptop, but that was just wasted space since I do not have any of that there. So I wanted some shelves there to hold candles and oils and other witchy paraphernalia. There was MUCH cussing involved, and Josey pup and I spent most of the time outside to avoid said cussing, but holy damn, the shelves turned out better than I had hoped. And, because Hubs made it, I know it will take an act of god to actually destroy them. ::laughs:: That man can slap shit together and it will be the strong shit you’ve ever seen!
Now I’m excited to really begin decorating that area and making it actually USEFUL. I found a lamp that I plan to get for that area, as my room is quite dark. And I’m hoping to start filming some YouTube videos there soon. And I want to set up specific areas for each of my Spirit helpers.
But the really cool thing? I had to clear that area out big time, so that Hubs would have the space to maneuver and drill and all that jazz, and I LOVE the space and clearness of it now. So yeah. I plan to clear out the rest of the altar area, dust it, bless it, and then make serious decisions on what I will be bringing back into that space.
