There needs to be more research into how Bipolar brains work. Like how there is research into how Autistic brains work and how to work WITH them and all that jazz.
With Bipolar and Depressive brains, all the research is focused on combating suicidal tendencies. Which, yes, is definitely needed. But that isn’t the entirety of our being. Bipolar and Depressive brains also are wired differently than “Normal” brains, and I wish there was more research into that. What our strengths are. What we can bring to the table as positives, because I KNOW we have a ton of positives. I just hate that we are pigeon-holed with the suicide as the MAIN FOCUS. Sometimes the SOLE focus. And we are just SO MUCH MORE.
I did one of those online tests about autism as I’m beginning to suspect that I have some of those traits. It pegged me along the Asperger spectrum (which is an outdated term that autistics do NOT use). And while I would love to get an actual diagnoses, that shit runs around $3k. And that’s too rich for my blood right now, to test for something, that honestly, I may not even have. But I’ve gone ahead and requested some autistic books, written BY autistic authors, on how they operate in the normal world. I figure if nothing else, maybe I can pick up some tips and tricks that might just work for me.
I’m also working on a list of things that I know right now that I need at work to function better. The communication between my boss and I is hit and miss at best. And when it’s a miss, she is supremely frustrated, which manifests as her acting like I’m stupid. Which is one of my biggest pet peeves – so I become extremely defensive and belligerent, which does not make for a good working relationship what-so-ever. So once I get that sorted this week – we have our quarter employee meeting this coming week, so I figure that’s the best time to lay those out on the table, as I’m sure she’s going to bring up some of these issues as well, hopefully we can get to a more stable understanding of each other.
For the most part, I adore my job and my work environment. I really enjoy most of my coworkers 95% of the time, which is really high for me. I am striving to speak up sooner when something bothers me, instead of keeping quiet and letting it fester until I’m pissed the fuck off and blow up.
