Death of Loyalty

Once again, I am reminded why I have absolutely no sense of loyalty to my job at Starbucks. And if it wasn’t for the insanely awesome coworkers I have there, I would have walked out on that job ages ago.

I am supposed to work tomorrow 7 am to 11 am. But the timing belt on my car died. So it’s in the shop. I’ve been calling around, trying to find someone to cover my shift.

As a last ditch effort, I text Darell (my boss), as he’s not working tomorrow, in the very slim hope he’d take the measly four hour shift.

Instead, I got bitched out for texting him on his day off. I got bitched out for asking him to cover my shift on his other day off. (Like I know when his days off are. The schedule simply said he wasn’t working that day, NOT that he was unavailable.) And then he told me “This is your problem. You fix it.” And hung up on me.

And I know my greatest flaw is my knee-jerk reaction to behavior like this. At this point, I will not go in that shift, even if I were to magically have my car back in time (which isn’t even in the realm of possibilities). I will not tolerate being spoken to like that. And to me, going in at this point is telling Darell that I accept this type of behavior. And I won’t.

Blame it on my Scottish blood. Blame it on my Scorpio birthsign. Blame it on the mental/verbal abuse/manipulation by my psycho Ex. Whatever.

I will NOT tolerate that.

And he’s lucky I didn’t go with that initial knee jerk reaction and call him back and tell him where he could stuff this problem, along with the damn job.

I have at least learned that type of restraint.

So yeah. My days at Starbucks are numbered. I won’t put up with much more of this shit. And add to that just about every single coworker that I adore working with, now works evenings, so I’m not even working with them? Yeah, that loyalty is dying.

Kind of Perfect, Actually

So, first off, Happy Polar Bear Day!
I generally celebrate this day as a day to reaffirm my dream of taking an awesome, special tour up north in Churchill, Manitoba....to see, experience, and photograph polar bears in their natural habitat.

At the first of this month, I set a goal for myself to have at least $3,000 saved up in my Polar Bear Trip fund by today. I exceeded that goal (not by a lot, but I did it all the same). And this is a huge deal for me, as for the last 3 years or so, I was struggling just to make ends meet. So to have $3k+ in savings alone is massive.

So today, I figured the best way to reaffirm my dream, was to finally open a savings account at my bank.

And it’s snowing currently. Kind of perfect, actually. *smiles*

Onwards and upwards! Just another $7k to go! *laughs*

Note: I didn't save $3k in just this month.  That's what I've saved up since November.

The Hope, the Dream, The Plan

Snow day!

Well…actually, not real snow. This is Texas after all. So we get this awesome mixture of ice, sleet, ICE, freezing rain....more ICE. Did I mention ice? Because we get a LOT of that. But yeah, we call it snow because it’s easier. It’s more romantic. *laughs*

Anyways, most of the schools across the state it seems are closed today. So that just left the Starbucks job. And um…yeah…that was NOT about to happen.

Texans have no concept of how to drive on ice (or in the rain, while we’re at it). We’ve place all our adaptive abilities into surviving the heat, so you can’t really blame us. But needless to say, Texans on ice is extremely dangerous, extremely unpredictable, but a whole lot of fun to watch from a safe distance. Oh we are the stubborn, defiant child State of the US. You tell us we can’t still do 90 on the highway, just because of an inch of ice on the road. Fuckin’ hold my beer and watch this shit....

So yeah, needless to say, I wasn’t going to risk life, limb, and car for Starbucks pay. I might have been persuaded to go to the after school program…because they’re paying me $20+ an hour to work there. But Starbucks? I’m getting just a hair’s breath over $8/hr. Yeah, fuck that noise. I called at 6:30 am to say I wouldn’t be coming in for my 4 hour shift. The reason? Told ‘em my car wouldn’t start. I just neglected to say it wouldn’t start because I wasn’t going out there to even try. *laughs* I am a Texas Wolf. I don’t do this type of weather. We’re not even busting out of the 20s today. Yep. Ain’t going out there.

Instead, I’ve taken a few naps. Finished up my laundry. Finished reading Bitten by Kelley Armstrong (for the 40th thousandth time, seriously....kind of like that book....like a lot). And now, I’m sipping on a Chai Tea Latte made at home (thanks to my Verismo machine) and looking through my GRE prep book that arrived yesterday....and alternating between asking myself what the fuck have I gotten myself into…and seeing that this is a lot like the Teacher Test, so it can’t be too god-awful. After all, look at how very little actual prep I put into the Teacher Test, and I did just FINE! *laughs* No worries, I’m actually taking the GRE more seriously than I did the Teacher Test.

Current rumor going around Facebook is that the schools will remain closed for tomorrow as well. If the roads aren’t horrid, I’ll probably be a good lil worker bee and go to my Starbucks shift tomorrow. Then more delving into the GRE prep book.

Given how poor my overall GPA is for my bachelor’s degree (wayyyy too much time goofing off and having a GREAT fun), I really need to knock out a good, high score to have the colleges take me seriously. Granted, UNT did accept me a while back when I was toying with the idea of pursuing a photography degree through them. I petitioned them to look at the GPAs for my final 5 semesters of my bachelors, when I carried nothing less than a 3.5, and they were quite impressed with that. So maybe with a good GRE score and the same petition that they look at my last 5 semesters’ GPAs, the grad schools will be willing to take a risk on me? And then I’ll blow all that out of the water and get an amazing librarian job, and be happy and filthy stinking rich for the rest of my life. * laughs * At least, that’s the hope, the dream, the plan!

Mind Dump

hand written last night

Thank goodness this is the last night of the basketball gig. It’s only an extra 2 hours or so in the evenings, and the pay is excellent, and honestly, it doesn’t require a whole lot out of me, but damn, I am worn out by the final end of the day. If I do this again, I will take the week off from Starbucks. Working all three jobs was just too much for me. But, on the upside, those paychecks are going to be quite nice.

Sadly, it’s looking like the Canada trip isn’t going to happen this year. Kier, my cousin, is graduating from high school and is apparently moving far away for college, so the family is swamped this summer.

Hopefully David and I can hash out the details this weekend for our mini-vacation we’re planning to do in March. We’re planning a long weekend down in San Antonio (he’s never been). Definitely going to hit the San Antonio Zoo (because, I just can’t miss a zoo), and the River Walk, and quite possibly the Alamo as well. We just both so desperately need a vacation.

And I’m tentatively planning a trip to Wolf Park and possibly Wolf Creek in October. David would like to join me on that trip as well, as he’s never been. But we’ll have to wait and see how his work is behaving at that time. I have no qualms about going by myself – hell, I’ve done it twice before. Once driving and once flying. And honestly, I’ve been working my ass off the past year and I’m doing well financially – I’ve more than fucking earned this trip. I miss my wolves so incredibly much.

Seems we’ll be spending another 13 months here at RBC apartments. We’d rather not, but comparative apartments in the area are slim picking in March (when our lease is up), and so many places refuse to take large dogs. So we’re sucking it up and staying another 13 months. Hopefully at the end of that, we’ll be moving into a house of our very own and can be done with the rent rat race. But for now, we are going to stay put and save up.

I’ve having a blast with the Month of Letters Challenge. Two people have written me. A lady from Georgia sent me a cool wolf card. And a lady from Australia sent me an awesome Tiger Snake postcard and stamp. Mom said that my Grandmother loved the postcard I sent her. I seriously adore getting snail mail. I do need to get some return address labels soon. I ordered another postcard grab-bag from Pomegranate Publishing. And I’ll keep my eyes peeled for local postcards.

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Nearly Perfect

An almost perfect shed. Leviathan (my female lavender corn snake) split the belly in a 1 foot section, but other than that, one perfect, inside-out shed.

I often get asked how long she is. With a fresh shed it’s easier to visualize.

When I was holding the head level to the floor, the tail comes all the way up to my chin. And I’m 5’ 11” tall.

Here’s the shed laid out on my bed, though I had to loop part of the tail back because it was hanging off the side of my full-sized bed.

 

Measures in right at 5 feet even.

Fluid Heterosexual

Ray, one of my dearest on-line buddies, posted a “What is Your Actual Sexual Orientation?” quiz on Facebook.

I typically describe myself as a monogamous predominately heterosexual.

I’ve slept with women. I’ve slept with men. Both have their good points and their points that I don’t really care for. But overall, I prefer men as sexual partners.

The quiz labeled me a “Fluid Heterosexual”:

While you are mostly attracted to members of the opposite sex, you are open minded when it comes to experiences with members of your own gender. This goes to show that you are tolerant of others and have the confidence to express your fluid sexuality.

I agree.

War

Looking at the week ahead, I feel myself already donning my armor and mentally preparing for WAR.

Not that I’m truly going into battle. Just that next week is when I do the temp evening job (basically, making sure a group of high school basketball players and their coach don’t destroy my elementary school).
After my morning job (Starbucks). After my afternoon/early-evening job (after school program at said elementary school).
Yeah, it’s going to be a long week.
That’s a whole lot of social interaction for an introvert such as myself.
And to top it off, I’m supposed to end the week on my MoonTime, which means, I’m even more anti-social than usual.

WHEEEE!!!
Bring on the insanity.

I do need to come up with a dinner game plan for myself.
I mean, I could have food delivered, but geez that gets expensive.
I do have access to a frig and a microwave at the evening job, so that’s a plus. Just need some sort of idea by tomorrow so I can gather up necessary supplies.
I’ve got the book I’ll be reading during the evening job picked out – Georges St. Pierre’s The Way of the Fight.
I’ve got some journaling I desperately need to catch up on.
And I could take a handful of postcards and write those up as well. Might even write a few honest-to-god letters as well.

We’ll just have to see how this all plays out.

Out of the Mouth of the Lion

Oh little Wolfling
you think you are so brave
tell me
are you ready to walk to the Edge
to peer into the Void
and let It peer back
For nothing hides
from that Deep Longing
for this is the True
Alpha and Omega
for this is Blinding Truth
that illuminates all Illusion
and tatters your Smoke and Mirrors

Tell me, Sweet Cub
are you ready to Commit
you claim you want an Oracle’s Voice
but are you capable of withstanding
the deep soul resonance
that comes from being
a Mouthpiece for the Gods
are you ready to stand
alone
in the eye of that Hurricane

Tell me, little Cub
are you willing to embrace the Serpent
She who demands
you to fumble blindly for a time
to then shed the old growth
and to squeeze all you can
from this short Life
She who gazes Unflinching
Unblinking
Undeniably
into all that Life has to offer

Come, my little Wolfling
be not fearful
but aware
and I will stand beside you
through your onslaught

I know not what you will be
exactly
after you trial by Fire
but oh, little Cub
you shall be
Glorious

Witiko Blooded (Poem)

Beside me walks my Lioness
Her Majesty, cloaked in pure white
Powerful are the muscles
that ripple like water
beneath silken pelt

Around my shoulders
shawl of venom
draped scale clad jewel
wise ancient Serpentess
whispers knowledge of the ages
Her Rebel Mischief
in the flesh

Shading me from Sun’s burning light
Winged Mistress of the Air
Celaneo, The Dark
keeper of the storm
and Retribution
not afraid to get bloody
in the pursuit of justice

I am blessed
Child of Beast
knowledge of Man
soul of Wolf
Skin-changer
Moon Child
the one with the Witiko blood

La Luna rides high tonight
full of splendor and power
Mesmerizing materialized

I bow my head
in supplication
and whisper those words
known only in my heart of hearts
words not uttered by human lips
but shaped by wolfen desire

Be ware
those who would trifle
with me as the Moon rides high
for when you look into my eyes
the She Wolf stares right back