Thankfuls & Ramblings

written: April 28th

I am thankful…

1.       That I finished up Prelim Draft #4 done and submitted early for the Damn Database Project of Doom for INFO 5200.  I just have to do the Peer Review (due Saturday), and then the Final Draft #4 (due next Thursday), and I’m DONE with that damn class.

2.       Esmeralda was finally able to make it out to campus and talk to Chelsea about all the craziness she’s been doing (SLEEPING while “supervising” students, playing on her phone, letting students use her phone, dress code violations out the wazzoo, etc).  I just hope the talk STICKS.

3.       All the 5^th graders were on a fieldtrip today, and thus were not at my after school program.  It took a lot of the attitude out of the program and it ran so smoothly. 

4.       Kaleb, a previous student of mine, stopped by to chat and say hello.  He certainly was a fun student, the 3 years I had him in my program.  It’s nice to know I made enough of an impression that he chose to come visit.

5.       Good articles I read on line that really resonate with me and make me pause and reevaluate how I’m doing things in life.

6.       How productive today was – I rescheduled my dentist appointment (I have no more paid days off of work), did a change of address for my bank and my driver’s license, I trimmed the Bushes of Doom out front (holly-like bushes), survived the craziness of work, and completed Prelim Draft #4.  I’m exhausted, but feeling pretty damn good about myself.

7.       Getting back into the swing of cooking meals here at home.  The past few weeks, due to the craziness of The Move, we’ve been eating out a TON.  That’s gotta stop now.

8.       The awesome self-inking address stamp Brother and Sister-In-Law gave David & I as a house warming gift.  I utterly LOVE it!

9.       The even more awesome surprise card and check from my Mom, celebrating that we FINALLY have our house.  That was a HUGE and much appreciated surprise.

10.   Our awesome lil home.  I barely have anything but the basics unpacked, but I adore my lil home.  Hopefully, after my academic semester ends, I can focus on really settling into my bedroom…and get the kitchen under better control.

11.   My truly AMAZING husband who practically did this move singlehandedly AND all the cleaning of the apartment.  I was in a very poor head-space from all the stress, but he’s done SO FRIGGIN MUCH and I just love him to death for it. 

Man, my journaling writing is VERY hit and miss.  But after writing research papers (INFO 5000) and working on the Damn Database Project of Doom (INFO 5200), I’m just all worded out.

I’ve decided for my Book of Mirrors (Pagan/Magickal reflections/journaling), I’m going with a 3-ring binder.  This way I can easily include articles that speak to me.  I can also put in artwork or colorings I like. 

I’m also going the 3-ring binder route for my Book of Shadows.  I just change so many things that a hardbound journal wouldn’t be practical.  And I came across a group that uses Bullet Journaling for their Witchy business….and I’m intrigued.  So I may give that a go.  All I know is that the current way just is NOT working for me.

Hazel Nut has invited us (meaning David and I) over to her place on May 7^th for a Beltane cookout.  I was rather interested until she talked about using the empty lot directly behind her house (and on a BUSY street) as a place to drum and dance and wear full body paint/makeup.  Even if I didn’t work for the school district and therefore need to keep my Pagan-ness on the down-low….I’m not an overly public person.  It would be different if we were doing this at a huge Pagan festival – the bulk of the people there would be Pagan…or at least Pagan-friendly.  This is on a major street in our fairly large city that anyone and everyone could drive down.  Not my cup of tea.  And I certainly don’t fault her for putting all her Witchiness out there for all the world to see.  That’s wonderful.  And we certainly need people to be the public face for the Religion.  I’m just not the person for that.  And I have no desire to be that person either. 

My Mom is coming up Saturday to take us to lunch and so we can show off the house.  Liz is the only person we’ve invited over – she offered to take ALL of our boxes off our hands (she and Julie are in the process of moving as well).  So Mom’s the second person ever that we’ve invited over.  And then at 7 pm, we are going to go over to Mike C.’s to celebrate the fact that he and Sarah got hitched! 

Sunday, David works 10 am to 6 pm.  I have a feeling I’ll be decompressing from all the socializing.  Hopefully I can do a bit of work on my room.  I need to switch Leviathan’s tank and desk with my computer desk.  She’s staying too hot where she’s currently located, so I’m hoping that by putting her tank and desk over one of the vents in my room, it will help keep her a bit cooler.  If not?  I dunno what I’m going to do.  She’s currently about 5 degrees over her optimal temperature, which isn’t a big deal at the moment.  I just worry how bad it will be when we really get into summer and the days easily top out over 110 degrees.

Headed to bed now.  I’m utterly exhausted.  Hopefully Friday will be a good day.

A Calling

I read a really good blog post about Being Silent within the Witchcraft Tradition.  It comes from a phrase known well within the Witchcraft Community – to Know, to Will, to Dare, and to keep Silent.  It’s a good phrase to learn.  It sounds simple enough, but you can delve so deeply with it.

And with all that is going on in my life at the moment, To Keep Silent resonates with me so much.  I’m an introvert.  I’m a Scorpio.  And here recently, I’ve put myself Out There too much.  Especially when it comes to the inner workings of myself.  I’m just so thrilled that so many things are crystallizing and finally coming into focus that I just want to share it with the world.  But maybe that isn’t the correct approach.  At least not for me.  Not right now.

I’m feeling the calling to turn inwards.  I’m feeling the call to hibernate and marinate in whatever the Spirit World has to offer me right now.  And more and more, I have the feeling that it isn’t something that should be shared with the entire world.  I’ll still write about my mundane world – the hilarious things my husband and students do.  The trials and tribulations of Old Lady’s twilight years (though, honestly, we could be talking months, sadly).  The fun and headache that goes with house ownership.  And the insanity and work that goes with school.  I’ll even generally brush off spiritual topics.  But the meat of my faith will be written down.  Guess I’m finally feeling the call of doing a Book of Mirrors once more – a Witch’s journal of reflection (similar, but different from the Book of Shadows, which is more of a spiritual how-to).  Who knows?  I may even get into the swing of maintaining a Book of Shadows.  I’ve tried in the past, but it just never quite sticks.  ::chuckles::  Maybe I’ll find a method that resonates with me.

But for now, I know that I spend way too much time on the internet.  I spend way too much time talking about spiritual things instead of DOING/EXPERIENCING spiritual things.  

I think it’s time for me to return to my roots – how I started out on this Path.  I grew up in a very small, very Christian rural Texas town.  And to be a Witch THERE?  I had to Keep Silent on the vast majority of it.  I think I’ll read through my Book of Mirrors from those early days.  I may cringe at parts of it, but I think I would do well to return to the beginning once more. 

Who knows how deep this rabbit hole will go?

Thankful Thursday

written: April 21st

I am thankful:

1.       That we have a house all of our very own finally!

2.       Almost completely done with the move and the cleaning of the old apartment.

3.       Gorgeous almost full moon I get to see from my bedroom window as it rises.

4.       Awesome gift of a book from one of my more “unique” students. 

5.       The semester is winding down.  I’m in the homestretch now.  Just gotta finish this out, and then I’m taking the summer off (from school; I still have to work).

6.       My super perfectionist husband with a crazy work ethic.  He’s done 90% of the cleaning and packing for this move.

7.       Looking at rose bushes that I want to plant in front of the house.  We have a huge dirt area that has become quite the mud pit with our recent rains and I figure a rose bush or two (or three) would be a quick and easy way to cover that area up and spruce up the front of the house as well.

8.       My pen pals, journal buddies, friends, and awesome family.  Totally make this crazy life more awesome.

9.       That David finally agreed to hire a maid company to take care of the kitchen and the laundry area – even if he ended up cleaning quite a bit of the kitchen anyways!  ::laughs::

10.   Alternating quiet rain and beautiful sunny days.  It’s kept the temperatures moderate and lovely.  And we are quite lucky that the downpours completely missed our big move day. 

11.   The truly amazing guys from Little Guys Movers.  They were so friggin’ awesome and quick and efficient.  We will definitely use them for any and all moving from here on out (though, hopefully, we won’t need their services for a long, LONG time!).

Whew!  Made it!  Moving is downright EXHAUSTING.  But luckily we have the bulk of it done.  The maid service is coming tomorrow and then we do our final walk through with the apartment people at 3 pm tomorrow.  And then we are DONE with RBC apartments.  Hopefully forever.  I will admit, I am a bit sad about leaving RBC.  I’ve been here close to 10 years now and love the area.  I have a ton of fond memories of this place.  This is where I met David.  And really, it’s only the last 4 or so years that made it unbearable – ever since GrayStar took over the property from Sherman Properties.  So I will miss what it used to be, but am excited about having our own home now.  So much to do, but I’m trying to enjoy the ride instead of stressing out about it.  Though, I’m not sure how successful I am being in that regard!  ::laughs::

I am utterly exhausted and worn out.  Even my students could tell today that I just had zero energy.  I swear I could have laid down at noon and slept until 10 am the next day.  ::laughs::  Thank goodness we have tomorrow off of school.  I need some serious down time so I can try to get my bedroom into some sort of order.  Right now, it looks like a complete and utter disaster zone.  And the only reason it looks as good as it does right now is because I have a MASSIVE closet (seriously, it’s the same size as some of the non-master bedrooms in some of the houses we looked at), so I’m able to hide a LOT of crap in there, out of the way.  ::laughs::

I did a lot of decluttering, but feel like a lot more needs to be done still.  And we still need to go purchase a washer and dryer (been using the one at the apartment, while we still have access to it) and a microwave.  Liz and Julie are coming by this weekend to take all our boxes.  They just sold their house and will be moving shortly, so are thrilled to take our crap-ton of boxes off our hands. 

David goes back to work on Tuesday.  He’s been off of work for the past week to do the bulk of the moving stuff.  I took Monday and Tuesday off, but had to work Wednesday and Thursday.  I really am lucky to have him and that he was willing to shoulder the vast majority of the whole thing so I could focus on school.