Dreaming of Polar Bears

ART: Polar Bears
ARTIST: amrodel

I dreamt I went on a road trip last night.
Just up and left right after my shift ended and drove.
Alone.
Drove up to Manitoba.
I could tell it was a dream because I did that trek, Texas to Manitoba, in one sitting.

But I drove there, easy peasy.
And I saw my polar bears.

And I could tell it was a dream.
Because I got to swim with them.
Full grown, adult polar bears.
Males can be over 10 feet tall.  And the heaviest weighed in at 2,209 pounds.
That's 2,000 pounds heavier than me!
And yes, this is what I was swimming with.

Baited them in with shredded mozzarella cheese. 
Other people added other cheeses, but mozzarella did the trick.

I didn't touch these bears.  But I swam with them.
Such beautifully, clear, turquoise arctic water. 
Watching them paddle around like large white dogs.
And blow air bubbles under water.

Just a friendly reminder to stay on course.
That while I may not be thrilled where I'm headed career wise, it's the way to my dreams of polar bears.
Not swimming with them, that's for sure.
But at least SEEING them, experiencing them in the flesh.
Wild polar bears.
I can scarcely wait.

Behind Again: Photos 187 - 208

Photo 187:

Sausage balls I took to Lisa's house for UFC 162.

Photo 188:

Making ANOTHER batch of sausage balls for my husband and I to enjoy ourselves (and not have to share with anyone).

Photo 189:

Love this tree.  Wish I knew what kind it was. 

Photo 190:

Leviathan shed today (4'10").

Photo 191:

Beautiful blue skies.

Photo 192:

TV series we are enjoying.

Photo 193:

Champions: Return to Arms video game.

Photo 194:

Corsage I wore to my brother's wedding.  Beautiful, no?

Photo 195:

Incense offering to the Divine as a thanks for the rain.

Photo 196:

I like the play of light and shadow in this photo.

Photo 197:

Awesome card from Sydney (one of my students at summer camp).

Photo 198:

My sleepy puppy dog.

Photo 199:

Sample resume from the resume workshop.

Photo 200:

Lil moth friend hiding out.

Photo 201:

Leviathan's meal.

Photo 202:

Postcrossing post card from China.  :)

Photo 203:

Full Moon ritual.

Photo 204:

Starfish at the SeaLife Aquarium.

Photo 205:

Sprawled out Holly.

Photo 206:

Crystals arrived.

Photo 207:

A "Thank you" goodie bag from Sophia (one of my students).

Photo 208:

Macha's Mare, a Zuni fetish.

Step One

I'm starting to slowly gather the necessary items for my piece of artwork that symbolizes my connection to the Divine for my 1st degree initiation with my Coven.

Today I purchased these:


I purchased 8 "daggers" at 16-22mm long.  I just like the warm honey color of these crystals.
These will go in the East, symbolizing air, communication, inspiration, sunrise, and the winged ones. 
This is the realm of spoken word and intellectual thought.  Incense, feathers, smudge fans all go in this area. 
For me, this is the realm of Golden Eagle.

I figure I can also use the yellow daggers to decorate on the days Holy to Sekhmet.  She is the noonday sun, fiery and warm.  The lions that are holy to Her are also of this warm honey color.  Though for me, Sekhmet appears as a white lioness, with honey gold eyes.

They should be here by the end of the week.  I can start figuring out how I want to string them and work on the placement of the hooks in my shelf altar once they are in my hands.  I can't wait to simply sit with them and feel them.

Three more directions to go.
South -- red, fire.
West -- blue, water.
North -- green/brown, earth.

And then maybe a while crystal for the Center direction -- realm of Spirit/Divinity.

Babysitting, Resumes, and Jobs

handwritten last night

Second time babysitting for the Robinsons and it's going just as great as the first time, which is always a relief.  The extra cash will be a big help, too.  I desperately need it and it couldn't come at a better time.

I've been looking on CraigsList for part-time jobs I could do while keeping my school year job (after school program).  The only way I'll leave my gig is if I get a much better paying job.  For now, I'm just looking to do something in the morning that will bring in some much needed extra cash in case I don't get a teaching job right off the bat.  There are a few I'm interested in, so I'll apply and hopefully something will work out.

I brought my resume with me so I could rework it once the kids fell asleep.  Going off of what the Texas Teacher's video said about resume writing, I've seriously pared down my resume and made it more streamline.  I just worry that it's going to be too bare bones.  I'm only supposed to go back 10 years in my work experience -- but that's only two jobs.  Hopefully potential employers will see that as a true asset, as I don't change jobs on a whim, and that I'm a dependable employee.

I also wish that the original Montessori school wasn't one of those two listed jobs -- or at least I wish I knew what Donna will say when potential employers call her about me.  Will she be honest and praise me for the years of hard, dedicated work I gave her, or will she sink me because we parted on such poor terms?  I'm tempted to ask Allie (a coworker) if she'd call, pretending like she's wanting to hire me, and just see how Donna reacts. 

But I guess in all honesty, it doesn't matter, as there's nothing I can really do about Donna's answer.  She'll either be kind or be mean and there's no sense in worrying over it.  I've got tons of good references that will praise me highly, so maybe that's what I should focus on instead. 

More Wedding Photos

Four more photos from the wedding. 

My Mom and my brother:


All the groomsmen, my brother, and my step-father with cigars:


Bride and bridesmaids:


Lindsay had just walked down the aisle and they were fixing her train to begin the wedding ceremony:

Wedding

My lil bro got married Saturday.  This is just to share photos of them.

Engagement photos first:




It will be a bit before we get the professional photos back of the wedding, but here are two the guests have posted that I liked.

Lindsay:


The big kiss:


I'm sure I'll add more as more photos are shared on Facebook.  *smiles*  I wish them all the love and luck in the world for their marriage.  I hope it's as fulfilling as it can possibly be.

News

The big news is that I passed my teacher test (Generalist 4 - 8) that I took on Saturday!!!!  Woohoo! 
I totally admit that I did the fist pump in the air when I got the news. 

In other news, Leviathan shed.
Still measuring in at around 5 feet long. 
Guess she's finally hit her max length....though she is known to prove me wrong each time I've said that, and go up an inch or two.  We shall see.

Back to the first news.  Now I need to write up my "Professional Educator" resume, which is apparently completely different from a traditional resume.  Lucky for me, Texas Teachers had a HOUR long presentation on how to create this "Professional Educator" resume.  I'll probably do that once I get back from my lil bro's wedding.

Which, in THAT news, is this weekend!  Squee!  I can't believe my lil bro is getting married.  I'm so happy for him.  And of course, with me being so non-traditional, I have THE PERFECT non-traditional wedding blessing.  It's an Apache Wedding Blessing, that I plan to either read to them (if I'm feeling adventurous) or put in their pinata (where they are collecting wedding quotes and recipes).  I may just put it in the pinata, as Lindsay's grandmother already has it out for me for not being a Christian.  *chuckles*  Should be a fun wedding if she figures out who I am.  I'm not worried.  I already have my pat answer for her, should she attempt to discuss my religion at the wedding festivities -- that while I would love to discuss my faith with her (honestly), my lil bro's wedding is not the appropriate time nor place and I will not do anything that will cast any sort of shadow on my lil bro's special day.  I think that should take care of it.

The group I found on MeetUp.com that does sweat lodges has said there should be one at the end of the month.  Hopefully, I'll be able to go as I've been craving a sweat lodge for a while now.  And I could get some more information on the yearly Vision Quests they also do while I'm there.  If I can't make this one, it'll be October before I could go do one (finances and heat are limiting).  I might even see about making the Sweat Lodge an every month thing.  It would certainly be spiritually enriching.

And for my Initiation work with the Coven...that's been put on hold.  I've turned in my Mabon Ritual so that's taken care of.  All that is left is my piece of art, which I'll be decorating my altar shelf.  But with the summer camp paying so little, all expenses are cut to the bare bones (and even then, David is having to shoulder most of them).  So until October, my money can't be spent on anything other than essentials.

Though, with that said, I found this lady who does awesome cookies.  And I plan to get a batch of Batman ones made for David for his birthday.  I'll squirrel away $5 from each paycheck to pay for it.  It's not much, but it's all I can afford.

Which takes me back around to the first news.  Now that I've passed my teacher test, I can begin hunting for teaching jobs.  Once I get a teaching job, I get REAL paychecks and won't have to scrimp on things.  I'll be able to get my lil butt out of debt AND start saving towards a house and my polar bear trip.  So excited!

Photos 183 - 186

Photo 183:

Statue of Liberty made by one of the students at our Summer Camp.

Photo 184:

A critter thing I made out of connecting toys at work.

Photo 185:

Wolf Spirit oil and Vetiver essential oil.  I wear the Wolf Spirit oil to ritual. 

Photo 186:

Leviathan's gone blue.  She'll shed in 3 - 4 days.

Rawr...and Stuff

Whew buddy, the melancholy has gotten thick around here. 
I'm unhappy about the teacher test I'm taking Saturday, but honestly, what choice do I have in the matter?  It's damn time I grew up.  No many people can survive on a part-time job as long as I did, but it's time to get a full time one and stop surviving and start thriving.

I'm not thrilled at the prospect of being a legit teacher.  But it's something I'm good at, and if I'm good at it, I can make $45k a year.  That's a damn sight better than the $17k I'm currently making.

And I keep repeating to myself, it's only for a few years.  Gotta at least get my butt out of debt AND have a house AND have enough saved up for my polar bear trip.  Then I can go back to the part-time job if teaching is just sucking my soul. 

And who knows?  I might actually LIKE teaching and stick with it forever.  *chuckles softly*  Trying my hand at positive thinking.

Been making some small changes for myself here recently.

I've taken up walking Holly each evening.  Partly empowering and partly health related.  The weather's been glorious, so that's always a plus.

I've taken up washing my face with a cleanser in the shower after I finish shampooing and before I hit the body with soap.  My face has suddenly decided it's going to be oily as fuck, so of course my skin is breaking out.  All of this before my brother's wedding (NEXT Saturday).  So I've gotta whip my face back into shape and get it to behave itself, or the make-up artist is going to have their hands full with me (which they will already, because I'm going to be one of those difficult people that doesn't want a whole lot of make up on her face to begin with.  Should be fun).

I've taken to kneeling at my bedside when I say my nightly prayers, like the Catholics do.  And honestly, I focus so much better when I do it that way.  Granted, I have to shift around for a little bit to find a comfy position for my poor bum knee, but after that, it's golden.

Had my first review at the Summer Camp today.  Was asked pointblank if I'm burnt out.  Not a good sign.  It's by far, my worst review yet, but I did have a lot of redeeming qualities too, and the bosses did say that they already were seeing improvements from when they wrote the review (June 28th) and when they gave it (today).  So I've got the next few weeks to whip my butt back into job-fashion shape and get a great review.  I did admit to them I was still trying to figure out what my niche was there, as it seemed whenever I was doing something, the other staff would flock to it, leaving the other students under-supervised, so I would stop what I was doing to move to the under-supervised.  Only to have the cycle repeat itself.  I mean, sure it's flattering to have this Ability to Attract Lemmings, but damn, leave me the fuck alone already.  And the melancholy isn't helping matters.  And the fact that working in the mornings as thrown my sleep schedule all to shit.  But those are merely excuses, and I need to grab myself by the bootstraps and pull myself the fuck up.

And I've taken to smoking a cigaret here and there.  I know, I know.  Bad Wolfie, but kick my butt.  It's one friggin' cigaret and I don't have many vices (hell, can't afford vices to be honest).  And right now, I'm simply taking them from David, who doesn't even like them anymore now that he's on the e-cigaret.  So honestly, as long as I keep it to the one cigaret in the evening, it isn't that terrible.  And if it keeps me from slaying irritating children, then it's a good thing.  *laughs*  Besides, I can barely finish the one cigaret and I plan to keep it that way.

Joined a Glue Book (collage) group.  I'm hoping this sparks my creativity.  Thus far, I've done the two prompts for this month.  I might make have to make a Flickr account for them.  Not that they are amazing works of creativity.  But just to share them with others who do Glue Books.  Just to have something pump some creativity back into my withered life.

The spiritual meet-up group that does Sweat Lodges that I joined at the beginning of the month is back to being active.  Apparently the owner of the group was participating in the Sun Dance at a Navajo reservation.  Talk about wow in my eyes.  But she's back and is saying there should be a Sweat Lodge towards the end of the month.  Not sure if I'll be able to make it, but I'm definitely keeping my options open.  I need something to get me going again.  I crave that connection to the Divine.  I crave the feeling of utter wrung out purity you get after a Lodge.  And this group also does a yearly Vision Quest (already passed for this year), so I'm definitely checking them out for a variety of things.

Ok, I guess I've killed enough time.  Time to hit the books again -- reviewing for the Teacher Test.
 

Photos 178 - 182

Photo 178:

Large moth (about 1.5 inches long) I saved from the evil neighbors' walkway (I worried they'd kill it on sight).

Photo 179:

Snake shed I found on my walk with Holly.

Photo 180:

Snack of champions.

Photo 181:

My Pythia doll I bought from the Dancing Goddess Dolls shop.  :)
Thus ends the photos for June.  Half way done!

Photo 182:

Glue and a new journal to start!  :)