ShitShow

Ok, so here’s a brief overview of The Shitshow that I’ve vaguebooked about.

Tuesday, 20 minutes before we close, boss sends me a message that she wants me to plan our library branch’s anniversary party. And then begins rattling off all the places she wants me to contact. I kind of push back because I’m also still working on all the summer reading/programs as well. She basically says deal with it.

Wednesday, I have a meeting on the books that SAYS it’s for a summer reading recap. It was put in place LAST WEEK. This is important to note.

Instead, it’s a fucking ambush. It’s my boss and a higher up in the children’s department and it’s basically a 30 minute ass-chewing about how much I suck.

The highlights:
- got chewed out for not doing the virtual storytime. I was expecting this one. Had technically difficulties that day and, surprise surprise, my boss was on vacation (like she is at least once a month EVERY MONTH), so I had zero help trouble shooting. 

Everything else – basically the other 25 minutes of the “meeting” was completely new to me, and were things that my boss had multiple opportunities to talk to me about....and never breathed a single word to me. NEVER. And it ended with the head lady saying “well, I’m used to my children’s librarians being the first in the door and asking ‘what can I do to help’, so when I have to lead someone to do their job, maybe you just aren’t cut out to be a children’s librarian.” And then she talked about how there are other non-children’s librarian positions open and maybe one of those would be a better fit for me. I literally had to pick my jaw up off the ground.

Oh, and let’s revisit that anniversary that my boss dropped in my lap, because head lady brought it up – about how it’s our branch’s 50th anniversary in March and how my boss doesn’t feel like she can count on me to do it, but do I feel like I can handle that. Oh, I popped right back with, Well, now that I know WHAT anniversary it is and WHEN it is supposed to happen, I feel like I’m a bit better prepared. And that made head lady blink and ask what I meant and I GLADLY told her that I was only told about it the previous night TWENTY MINUTES before closing and was given ZERO information about it.

So Wednesday night I went home from work, ANGRY AF. Because my boss threw me under the bus. Then backed the bus back over me to stab me a few times before running over me again for good measure.

So Thursday I came in to work, and emailed head lady to say that other than the storytime, EVERYTHING ELSE came as a complete blindside. And that since she brought it up, I was curious to know a bit more about the possibility of changing jobs as an option.

She wrote back that she was sorry to hear that, but from all the DISCUSSIONS she and my boss have had about me, she assumed my boss was talking to me about these things. I friggin’ saw red at that point. And head lady also said that this sounded like a conversation I should have with my boss. Um, NO. That sounds like a conversation YOU need to have with YOUR subordinate on how to do HER job. That is NOT my job to do for you.

So yeah, I told her right then and there that I wanted to change positions and that I completely understand that it meant I would also be giving up my position at this branch (this branch has to have a children’s librarian).

So.....that’s where everything sits.

And trust me....I’ve only painted with the broadest of strokes here.

Children's Librarian?

Perhaps not.

I got fucking ambushed yesterday in a meeting with my boss and super head honcho lady. Apparently, I suck so much ass at my job, it’s a wonder I even have a job. Even though NOTHING HAS BEEN SAID TO ME ABOUT BEING SO HORRIBLE AT MY JOB AT ALL.

Like, head honcho lady was like “maybe you should ask yourself if you even WANT to be a children’s librarian.” Like, what the actual fuck? And then went on to say it was 100% ok if I didn’t and that I could switch over to being a regular librarian. And I’m just sitting here, completely fucking blindsided, wondering what the fuck is going on.

Greetings from Plague Land

Yep. Still here. Still Plague-ish. But getting better. I can HEAR now, which is nice. Because for about a week and a half, I couldn’t, thanks to a double ear infection.

Shit, at this point, I almost wish it HAD been Omicron. I think I would have gotten over that swifter than this allergy/cold/sinus/ear infection what-ever-the-fuck-it-mutated-into of DOOM that I’m STILL fighting off. Shit, I’ve been fighting this since the last week of DECEMBER. ::sighs:: But I’m on the mend. I’m feeling like 75% human, and only 25% plague rat, which is a VAST improvement. My ear still crackle when I yawn or swallow. I still have a cough, but it isn’t soul rattling, so that’s an improvement.

I’ve decided that since the calendar new year was a complete and utter bust for me due to Plague of Doom shit, I’m doing a Do Over on the Lunar New Year. Kind of makes more sense to me as well, given I’m more lunar attuned than calendar, so I’m giving that a go this time around. Plus the Year of the Tiger is supposed to be a really good year for a Rooster like me. So here’s hoping! ::chuckles softly::

Also, talking with April, I came to realize that I need to do a Power/Soul Retrieval/Recall. I have left little bits of myself in previous jobs, relationships, friendships, etc, that no longer serve me. I need to call back that energy and properly cut those ties. I think that’s part of the reason I’m constantly feeling so spread thin.

The house is also begging for a smoke cleansing and warding. Hell, my body is begging for a smoke cleansing as well.

Not Covid...

 Maybe.

Test came back as negative for COVID. But, all the symptoms point to COVID. And my husband ended up with the same symptoms for about 36 hours. So it really makes me doubt it was the flu. ::shrugs:: Sucks that the test was negative, because that means all that work time I missed is coming out of my PTO instead of the Covid PTO the city set up. ::sighs:: Oh well, that’s just how the damn cookie is crumbling.

I’m on the upswing at this point. Just have the lingering cough and the rattling chest that goes with the cough. Everything else, symptom-wise, is gone. I’ll get to go back to work on Tuesday (Library isn’t open on Sundays or Mondays).

I am thinking of trying my hand at making some magickal candles utilizing the magickal oils I currently have on hand. First and foremost would be to make some Red Fast Luck Oil Candles using some red tea lights I have. Eventually I want to make some larger candles with my Fiery Wall of Protection Oil in it, and some with my Van Van Oil and my Crown of Success Oil. And I’ve got a whole list of money/prosperity oils that would go well into green tea lights. Could be a lot of fun.

Who knows? Maybe this will motivate me to get back into making magickal oils again. I’m damn good at it. I don’t really know why I stopped. Just kind of ran out of magickal steam, I guess.

COVID or....

So yeah....gonna get tested tomorrow to see if I have COVID or if this is something else. Seriously NOT looking forward to this. ::sighs::

Let’s see. Boss lady was out all of last week with COVID. Work bestie, Carli – her husband’s work was closed last week because so many of his coworkers tested positive with COVID. She was supposed to get tested, but was out yesterday, so I don’t know what her status is. And then Noemy, another coworker, found out last week that the family she hung out with over Christmas have all tested positive for COVID. She was out yesterday as well, so I don’t know her status either.

And I’m rocking a deep chest cough (have been for a while – was pretty sure it was allergies, but allergy meds aren’t helping now), and yesterday, I developed deep muscle pain in my neck and legs, along with extreme fatigue, and then spiked a fever about an hour before I was due to head home. ::sighs::

But yeah, I luckily managed to snag a very coveted spot in one of the drive thru COVID testing sites that the county set up for tomorrow. But it will still be 48 hours or so before I know the results of that test. So I text boss lady to let her know that (I claimed migraine for today so I didn’t have to go to work, which yeah, my head aches, but mostly, I just can’t turn my head, hence driving is problematic. And I’m exhausted just coming down the stairs in the morning, so yeah, NOT going to work) I would be late coming in to work tomorrow because of the test and she asked if I was presenting any symptoms other than the headache. Like, bitch, you were sitting beside me all day yesterday listening to me hack up my lungs. So I rattled off the symptoms I am experiencing, and she told me not to come in with those symptoms. ::laughs::

2022

Welp, made it 2022.

Phrase for this year is Fuck It. No seriously, it is. ::laughs:: It’s what I’ve titled my birthday goals as well – Fuck it, I’m 40. ::laughs::
And it’s seriously, rather freeing. Want to do something crazy? Fuck it, I’m 40. Let’s do it.
Want to do something that people will probably side-eye me for because it’s not “normal”? Fuck it, I’m 40. Let’s do it.
So fucking freeing. I’m loving it.

I’m planning to make a return here. For 2021, I was doing a daily art journal thing, so that’s where most of my writing, when it was occurring, was taking place. And I just didn’t feel like rehashing it again for digital content.

I’m getting my newest journal ready to go for a swap I’m doing. It’s the first one I’m doing since pre-COVID. I was supposed to host one right when COVID broke out, but ended up cancelling that one because the mail service became so extremely unreliable. But it’s been 2 years now, and so I’m itching to do another one. And in this round, I have two newbies, which makes me so happy. I love bringing in new faces to try out journal swapping. I just hope it all goes as smoothly as possible. That’s always a bit iffy when you bring together a pack of creatives. ::chuckles::

Oh, new thing for me – I’ve recently gotten into Spirit Keeping. You can read about it here. I don’t feel like summing it up. I’m lazy. Bite me.

As of right now, I have a Basilisk, a Pink Dragon, and an Arctic Werewolf. I have an Ice Dragon that should be here on Monday. And I’m loving these Spirit Companions. So yeah, I’ll probably be talking quite a bit about them from time to time.

At the moment, the Basilisk is the one I interact with the most. Which is interesting, because the conjurer said that he would actually be a very quiet spirit. ::chuckles:: We interact a few times a week at minimum since he arrived. And the Ice Dragon has been very chatty, before he was even properly summoned. And his vessel isn’t even here yet. So I’m pretty sure once that arrives and we properly bond, he’ll be a very active spirit.

Hmm, and I think I’ll close there. I’ll let the other things I could ramble about percolate in my brain meats a bit longer and see if they become a bit more coherent.
I’m hoping to NOT have a migraine today. Texas weather has decided it wanted to go from Summer to Winter in the span of a few hours. It was 71 degrees at noon (when I go up). And our low tonight is 21 degrees. That a fucking 50 degree DROP. What the hell, Texas? So yeah, I can feel the pressure change in my skull, but thus far, no migraine. ::knocks on all the damn wood she can find::