Aggression

written: May 17th

Photo of the day:



Rose buds. I wanted to get photos of the Alley Neighbor’s orange lilies that have FINALLY begun to bloom. But I dunno. I felt a little awkward sneaking over there while they are home to photograph their flowers and race back across the little alley way. I’ll just wait until they aren’t home. ::laughs::
Whew. Aggression levels are running so fucking high right now. I’m bouncing between bouts of aggression and depression. ::sighs:: Yeah, lemme tell you how much FUN that has been…..NOT!!

The walks with Josey…I rather look forward to them to be honest. But the weather is really beginning to heat up. And the humidity was so high today – we got a quick rain shower this morning around 4 am. But I like walking around my little neighborhood. It’s nice that the only thing I really have to worry about in my little neighborhood is just a few loose dogs from time to time. But no thugs. No pants-less hobos high on whippets and drunk off Steel Reserve. No drug-dealers turned murders. None of the crazy ass shit that occurred at my old apartment complex. So yeah, while I miss my coyotes and hawks, rabbits and raccoons, I don’t miss the human element from that area. It just was no longer safe for me to be there.

On another topic, I got the journal again from the Pen Pal group. ::sighs:: I don’t want to work in it. I don’t want to write in it. I just want to mail it back to Pen Pal David and bow out of the entire thing from now on. But then again, maybe this could jump start my creativity. Because, holy shit, that needs to be stuck by lightning. At this point, I think that is the only way to jolt it back to life.

I need to clear out my art territory and art table. I can’t create anything if the table is layer upon layer of utter chaos. I mean, I NEED a bit of chaos, because that’s just what I am….that’s how I’m wired. I’m not meant for domestication. But when it’s all chaos? Nothing gets created. I need to clear all of that shit out and make room for some creativity.

Holy hell, is this school year EVER going to end? I’m so DONE with my students and my staff and they aren’t even terrible! ::laughs:: I’m just so fucking tired and am ready for a break. A change of pace. I can’t wait to go work with Jennifer, Sandy, Ronni, and Nate again in the Tech Department. I just hope they don’t have me working with Tommy (he’s the tech on my campus – and is creepy as FUCK. Even my students have commented on how much he appears to like me and inquire if he knows I’m married – yeah, it’s THAT bad). I’m sure if I talk to Sandy, she’ll keep him somewhere else. ::chuckles:: I’m just happy to go see those ladies and Nate again. Fuck, I’m just ready for a job that requires a LOT less socializing. ::laughs::