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Sometimes ya just have to say “fuck it” and go be a unicorn for a while. Today was one of those days.
Man, today has been ROUGH on me. Depression has been bad today. And having a borderline headache all day long doesn’t do much to lift one’s spirits. Intrusive thoughts have been bad today as well, and the urge to cut has been stupid high today. Today is one of the suckiest Mondays I’ve had in a while and I’m ready for it to be over.
But we had Mackenzie back on our campus today. That did a lot to lift my spirits. I seriously love having her on my campus. I wish we could just keep her. ::chuckles::
I managed to mail out Leida’s journal to Sharmila today. Fingers crossed that it moves as swiftly as possible to reach Sharmila. ::chuckles:: Leida mailed out Ali’s journal to me today. I need to do a better job of not procrastinating on working in the journals. ::chuckles:: Yeah, wish me luck with that one.
It turns out the Sunday that I was going to work at the F. Library, and would be unable to go to the Bone Divination class…yeah, they aren’t even open the hours I wanted to do, so I was able to bow out of working that day. Soooooo, I WILL be going to the Bone Divination class after all! Yay! I’m rather excited about this form of divination.
And just in case anyone is concerned about me…I’ve been dealing with depression since middle school. I’ve not engaged in non-suicidal self-injury behavior in almost 13 years now. I know my triggers and have healthy coping mechanisms in place now so that I am not a danger to myself or to others. And part of that healthy coping mechanism is writing about it – instead of DOING it. Writing about it, acknowledging that it is there, and then letting it go is how I cope instead of carving my issues into my skin. And this round is actually easier to deal with because I know it’s being triggered by the death of my grandmother and is part of my grieving process. When I know WHERE the issue is stemming from, then I can find ways to cope. It’s when the chemical imbalance comes to play and there is no external trigger, that it becomes hard to just ride it out. But, for as much as I’m struggling right now, I am ok.
I will make it through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And honestly, there is no way through but through. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Man, I would love nothing more than to just sleep the day way. To hide under my covers and deny anything is wrong. But these assignments aren’t going to do themselves. These Practicum hours aren’t going to do themselves. And if I am not at work, I am not making money. So. Yeah. Can’t be doing that just yet.
Sometimes ya just have to say “fuck it” and go be a unicorn for a while. Today was one of those days.
Man, today has been ROUGH on me. Depression has been bad today. And having a borderline headache all day long doesn’t do much to lift one’s spirits. Intrusive thoughts have been bad today as well, and the urge to cut has been stupid high today. Today is one of the suckiest Mondays I’ve had in a while and I’m ready for it to be over.
But we had Mackenzie back on our campus today. That did a lot to lift my spirits. I seriously love having her on my campus. I wish we could just keep her. ::chuckles::
I managed to mail out Leida’s journal to Sharmila today. Fingers crossed that it moves as swiftly as possible to reach Sharmila. ::chuckles:: Leida mailed out Ali’s journal to me today. I need to do a better job of not procrastinating on working in the journals. ::chuckles:: Yeah, wish me luck with that one.
It turns out the Sunday that I was going to work at the F. Library, and would be unable to go to the Bone Divination class…yeah, they aren’t even open the hours I wanted to do, so I was able to bow out of working that day. Soooooo, I WILL be going to the Bone Divination class after all! Yay! I’m rather excited about this form of divination.
And just in case anyone is concerned about me…I’ve been dealing with depression since middle school. I’ve not engaged in non-suicidal self-injury behavior in almost 13 years now. I know my triggers and have healthy coping mechanisms in place now so that I am not a danger to myself or to others. And part of that healthy coping mechanism is writing about it – instead of DOING it. Writing about it, acknowledging that it is there, and then letting it go is how I cope instead of carving my issues into my skin. And this round is actually easier to deal with because I know it’s being triggered by the death of my grandmother and is part of my grieving process. When I know WHERE the issue is stemming from, then I can find ways to cope. It’s when the chemical imbalance comes to play and there is no external trigger, that it becomes hard to just ride it out. But, for as much as I’m struggling right now, I am ok.
I will make it through this. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And honestly, there is no way through but through. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Man, I would love nothing more than to just sleep the day way. To hide under my covers and deny anything is wrong. But these assignments aren’t going to do themselves. These Practicum hours aren’t going to do themselves. And if I am not at work, I am not making money. So. Yeah. Can’t be doing that just yet.
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