So I had my appointment with the Shrink again today. And man, we butted heads today.
I came in to the appointment with a Starbucks drink. She assumed it was coffee, and I corrected her that it was a chai latte. She asked me how much caffeine I drink in a day, and I told her I have one of the Starbuck’s Mocha Frappucinos (in the bottle, that you get from the gas station) before work, and I drink that over the course of my 4-hour shift. She told me I needed to eliminate all caffeine. Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen. That would cut out the Frappucino, the hot chocolate, and teas. That is a big fat no. And I tell her so. I told her that I had cut back from 6 to 7 cups of coffee to just the one drink, before work, only during the week. That is one of the very few vices I have, and that I can afford, and I’m not giving that up. I told her I would be willing to purchase the smaller one (because I currently get the big one), but that was all I was willing to do. She pushed back, that with me having anxiety, I shouldn’t have any caffeine because it just ramps everything up. But my anxiety is pretty low currently, all things considered.
Which led to her asking me what I was anxious about. I told her work, due to Alexia still working there. Which she then launched into a “lecture” on how to talk to my bosses to get it solved. Honestly, at this point, there isn’t much more I can do. If Alexia steps out of line in a threatening way, then I will call the police immediately. Anything below that will be immediately turned over to my supervisor, because I am not putting myself at risk again. But yeah, I don’t really need any lectures over that, thank you very much.
And then I mentioned the normal stresses of class work, and she just pished it. She said “it’s just school, it shouldn’t be stressful”. Um, it’s fucking GRAD school and it IS stressful. And she suggested that next semester I only take one class, because obviously two classes are too stressful for me. ::blinks:: Um, no. I’m not losing sleep over these. I’m not contemplating suicide nor self-harm over these. Hell, I’m currently carrying a 99 in one class and a 100 in the other. I think I’m doing ok. And then she talked about how it’s no big deal if I have to drop a class (um, it’s frigging $1k a class) or if I have to push my graduation back. Like I’m not on a time frame here to graduate. I WANT to graduate, so I can leave the after school job. I WANT to graduate, so I can have a full time job, with full time pay. Yeah, there is kind of a clock on that. I know myself, and I know what I can handle. And right now, I’m doing ok.
Then of course, she brought up the whole sex thing. And I was honest. I’ve been on my period for the last week and a half, so yeah, sex hasn’t even been on the table. She scoffed and asked if it was because my husband was squeamish. I explained how bad my periods are…and even if I were to toss down THREE towels….it will still look like a crime scene. And that ain’t sexy at all.
And then she asked if I experienced pain during sex. Which, is true. Sometimes, if I haven’t been “properly prepped”, there is minor pain. And then my Shrink tells me not to tell my husband if it hurts during sex because it may affect his libido. Are you fucking shitting me? I am NOT going to endure painful sex just because it may hurt my husband’s feelings. That is not going to happen.
Now, with all this ranting on my side about a few choice stupid ass topics she brought up, other than that, she is still worlds better than any other shrink I’ve had.
I’m off Seroquel. Let’s just say I was spending more time on the toilet and chugging Pepto.
And we are increasing my Lithium. I am taking 300 mg in the morning and 600 mg in the evening. I do that for a week and then I have to go get my blood tested to check my lithium levels. Thankfully, I had my blood tested when I was at the gyno back on January 29th. That way I do not have to do a blood test right now and then again in a week to see how my levels change.
Granted, I talked all of this over with my husband. And he affirmed that I should definitely tell him if I hurt during sex. We can shift positions or try something different, but what would really hurt his feelings and affect his libido is if I was injuring myself just so we have sex more often. And THAT is one of the many reasons I absolutely adore him.
I came in to the appointment with a Starbucks drink. She assumed it was coffee, and I corrected her that it was a chai latte. She asked me how much caffeine I drink in a day, and I told her I have one of the Starbuck’s Mocha Frappucinos (in the bottle, that you get from the gas station) before work, and I drink that over the course of my 4-hour shift. She told me I needed to eliminate all caffeine. Yeah, that ain’t gonna happen. That would cut out the Frappucino, the hot chocolate, and teas. That is a big fat no. And I tell her so. I told her that I had cut back from 6 to 7 cups of coffee to just the one drink, before work, only during the week. That is one of the very few vices I have, and that I can afford, and I’m not giving that up. I told her I would be willing to purchase the smaller one (because I currently get the big one), but that was all I was willing to do. She pushed back, that with me having anxiety, I shouldn’t have any caffeine because it just ramps everything up. But my anxiety is pretty low currently, all things considered.
Which led to her asking me what I was anxious about. I told her work, due to Alexia still working there. Which she then launched into a “lecture” on how to talk to my bosses to get it solved. Honestly, at this point, there isn’t much more I can do. If Alexia steps out of line in a threatening way, then I will call the police immediately. Anything below that will be immediately turned over to my supervisor, because I am not putting myself at risk again. But yeah, I don’t really need any lectures over that, thank you very much.
And then I mentioned the normal stresses of class work, and she just pished it. She said “it’s just school, it shouldn’t be stressful”. Um, it’s fucking GRAD school and it IS stressful. And she suggested that next semester I only take one class, because obviously two classes are too stressful for me. ::blinks:: Um, no. I’m not losing sleep over these. I’m not contemplating suicide nor self-harm over these. Hell, I’m currently carrying a 99 in one class and a 100 in the other. I think I’m doing ok. And then she talked about how it’s no big deal if I have to drop a class (um, it’s frigging $1k a class) or if I have to push my graduation back. Like I’m not on a time frame here to graduate. I WANT to graduate, so I can leave the after school job. I WANT to graduate, so I can have a full time job, with full time pay. Yeah, there is kind of a clock on that. I know myself, and I know what I can handle. And right now, I’m doing ok.
Then of course, she brought up the whole sex thing. And I was honest. I’ve been on my period for the last week and a half, so yeah, sex hasn’t even been on the table. She scoffed and asked if it was because my husband was squeamish. I explained how bad my periods are…and even if I were to toss down THREE towels….it will still look like a crime scene. And that ain’t sexy at all.
And then she asked if I experienced pain during sex. Which, is true. Sometimes, if I haven’t been “properly prepped”, there is minor pain. And then my Shrink tells me not to tell my husband if it hurts during sex because it may affect his libido. Are you fucking shitting me? I am NOT going to endure painful sex just because it may hurt my husband’s feelings. That is not going to happen.
Now, with all this ranting on my side about a few choice stupid ass topics she brought up, other than that, she is still worlds better than any other shrink I’ve had.
I’m off Seroquel. Let’s just say I was spending more time on the toilet and chugging Pepto.
And we are increasing my Lithium. I am taking 300 mg in the morning and 600 mg in the evening. I do that for a week and then I have to go get my blood tested to check my lithium levels. Thankfully, I had my blood tested when I was at the gyno back on January 29th. That way I do not have to do a blood test right now and then again in a week to see how my levels change.
Granted, I talked all of this over with my husband. And he affirmed that I should definitely tell him if I hurt during sex. We can shift positions or try something different, but what would really hurt his feelings and affect his libido is if I was injuring myself just so we have sex more often. And THAT is one of the many reasons I absolutely adore him.
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