Emotional Overload

written: February 16th

I started reading The Kingdom of Little Wounds by Susan Cokal (a Pritz award honorary) and holy crap batman.  Page one talks about a 12-year-old princess forced to wed a MUCH older man, how he “consummates” the marriage and then she DIES either due to poisoning or the plague thing her and her siblings all have.  And then there’s talk of various sexual transmitted diseases and a whole bunch of shit that just keeps on going downhill.  How the fuck is this book an honorary award for “distinguished youth literature”???  What the ever loving fuck?  Yeah, if your plan is to scare your child off from EVER having sex…by all means, let them read the beginning of this book.  ::shakes her head::

I dunno what’s going on with me – maybe I’m in full emotional overload or something.  But crap, everything is so damn triggering right now.  I’m crying at the drop of a hat – thankfully only when I’m home alone.  I feel like I’m on high alert or something…but I’m not anxious?  Or at least, not my normal anxious, where I’m hypervigilant about people and the proximity to me.  I’m making note of this tension so as to (hopefully) remember to bring it up to my psychiatrist at our next meeting.