Thursday, November 2, 2017

Crossroads

written: November 1st



It’s so strange to be standing on the cusp of a possible radical change to one’s life.  Most of the time, such crossroads are unnoticed…or at least not noticed in the moment, but only seen upon reflection.

So I sent in my resume and cover letter for the supervisor position within the after school company I work for.  This position is the same level as Gail (my supervisor) and only Kelly (Head Boss) is above them.  It would be a major step up and more than double what I currently make.  It’s also full time, year ‘round, which is a major plus.

BUT, with that said, I will have to give up my campus and my students.  And most likely, my graduate studies will be put on hold, at least for the first year in that position.  And, like my mom pointed out, I’m sure to have some campus leaders under me that are a LOT like me – which can be a challenge.  ::chuckles::  Dress code is more conservative – no more t-shirts and jeans.  I’ll have to be a bit more “professional”.  Which also means no more fun summer hair colors.  And I will most likely have to retreat a bit further into the Broom Closet as well (meaning, I will have to keep my spirituality quiet).  So that definitely sucks. 

But making $50k a year sounds amazing.  And honestly, that would go such an amazingly long way to digging myself out of debt FINALLY, putting aside a good nest egg, AND getting to travel more.  And that’s why I’m apply.

So yes, I’ve made my 36 Goals for my 36th Year, ready to be implemented on November 10th…but, so many things could change between now and then.  The current list of goals are hinging on me NOT getting the supervisor position, because I don’t want to get my hopes overly up.  But if it turns out I DO get the position, then I will rework those goals, because my life will be taking a dramatically different direction.  The bulk of the goals can remain the same, no matter which direction I go, so only a handful would have to be reworked. 

So yeah, needless to say, with that weighing on me currently, I have NOT done my Samhain ritual just yet.  I did update my Beloved Dead candle to include pet names.  Honestly, I think I am building things up too much in my head – that I have to have THIS item and THAT item and it has to be at THIS time of day.  I need to just say fuck it and do the ritual.  Because, honestly?  Having a particular thing to drink for the ritual is not going to make or break it.  And if it’s so damn “important” to me to have those particular items, then I need to plan ahead for next year and get that stuff all squared away the weekend prior to the Sabbat/Esbat/Ceremony.  Hmmm, maybe that should go on my Goals List…..

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