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Putting in the work on some Coven homework. I’ve gotten quite a bit of it done. Still have more to do. ::sighs:: I am vowing now to do better about staying on top of my assignments from now on. Hopefully, once I get all caught up, it will be significantly more manageable.
Psycho Ex has been on my mind a bit lately. I’m hoping to meet up with an on-line buddy in Atlanta, Georgia later on this year. And of course, Atlanta is where my Psycho Ex lives. I also plan to visit two buddies that live there – one of which is still semi-friends with Psycho Ex. I was tempted to reach out to James and to please make sure he doesn’t say anything about me coming to Atlanta. I didn’t want to run into Psycho Ex. But, then I got to thinking about it.
Fuck it. I almost hope I do run into Psycho Ex. I am not afraid of him anymore. And that realization was so…shocking…but empowering. Because I’m not. I’m not afraid of him. I almost hope he does “accidentally” run into me. Because nothing would give me more satisfaction than to tell him to fuck off to his face.
Because, it will be so unnerving for him. I’ve always been submissive to him, even after we broke up. He always had me twisted up inside, not sure what to do. And my default behavior, when I’m confused or unsure of what to do, is to be nice. To be civil. To be forgiving.
Well, let me tell you this. That submissive personality is gone now. I’m standing more and more in my own power now. I’m speaking up. I’m speaking out. I’m pushing back and questioning things. I’m challenging shitty people and shitty behavior. And to be able to do that to him? In person? It really would be the final nail in that damn coffin, and I can happy bury that shit and be done with it.
Hell, I was even tempted to tell James to hint around that I would be in town to Psycho Ex.
But there’s a fine line between being bold and being fool-hardy. And I’m not fool-hardy.
If it happens, it happens. I’m prepared for it. No sense in actively provoking the beast.
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