Photo 464/1001
Nothing changes if you don’t put in the work.
A bit of sigil work. This will be burned into the wood this weekend (along with a sigil I’ll be tracing on a wooden box – different from this one in all ways).
My adorable little mortar and pestle arrived today, so I’ve been feeling extra witchy this evening. figured I should get around to really figuring out some sigil work for two upcoming witchy activities.
The sigil above is for a banishing incense I dreamt about a while back (November 2018) that I’ve been slowly gathering the supplies for. This sigil will be burned into the wooden lid of the jar that will contain the incense.
The final ingredient for that incense was to link it to my Psycho Ex. What better way than to use his photo in it? But that required me to unblock him on Facebook so that I could sift through his photos to find the right now. And Facebook has this rule that if you unblock someone, you have to wait a full 48 hours before you can reblock them.
I didn’t realize how much he still affected me. And honestly, it wasn’t so much the photos. It was all the people just fawning all over him, saying what a great guy he is for whatever reason.
And more than that, it was the friends we have in common that honestly hurt the most. The friends that he’s fucked over, that he’s raped, that he’s abused, that he’s bullied, that KNOW what a predator he is…and yet. They are still there, drinking the damn kool-aide and thanking him for the poison. That turned my stomach so much.
They claim he’s changed. But a leopard does not change its spots so easily. Sure I was a shitbag in a number of my relationships because I was young, self-centered, and STUPID. I’ve done what I can to make amends to anyone I hurt back then. I’ve made it a point to reach out to my various exes that I know I did not treat as well as they deserved and have point-blank apologized for my shitty behavior, no excuses given.
But you don’t stop being a predator overnight. No matter how shitty I may have behaved, I sincerely doubt I have left anyone seriously scarred. I never got people drunk for the sole purpose of having sex with them (and they made it clear, while sober, and on many occasions, they were not interested in sleeping with him at all). I never told my significant other repeatedly how sexually attracted I was to their various friends…or parental figures. (Yeah, he used to really enjoy telling me how much he sexually desired my mother).
I could go on and on with the horrible shit he’s done, but what’s the point? It seems I’m the only one who sees him for what he is.
So yeah, while I wait for the next 48 hours to pass so that I can reblock him…I will make note of the friends we still have in common. And I will be asking myself, seriously, should I keep them as friends?
Yeah, poured myself a very stiff drink for tonight and I hope that I don’t have any nightmares.
All in all, it reminds me why I’m doing this banishing incense for damn sure. I want every remnant of him GONE from my life. And if that means certain mutual “friends” go as well? So fucking be it.
Nothing changes if you don’t put in the work.
A bit of sigil work. This will be burned into the wood this weekend (along with a sigil I’ll be tracing on a wooden box – different from this one in all ways).
My adorable little mortar and pestle arrived today, so I’ve been feeling extra witchy this evening. figured I should get around to really figuring out some sigil work for two upcoming witchy activities.
The sigil above is for a banishing incense I dreamt about a while back (November 2018) that I’ve been slowly gathering the supplies for. This sigil will be burned into the wooden lid of the jar that will contain the incense.
The final ingredient for that incense was to link it to my Psycho Ex. What better way than to use his photo in it? But that required me to unblock him on Facebook so that I could sift through his photos to find the right now. And Facebook has this rule that if you unblock someone, you have to wait a full 48 hours before you can reblock them.
I didn’t realize how much he still affected me. And honestly, it wasn’t so much the photos. It was all the people just fawning all over him, saying what a great guy he is for whatever reason.
And more than that, it was the friends we have in common that honestly hurt the most. The friends that he’s fucked over, that he’s raped, that he’s abused, that he’s bullied, that KNOW what a predator he is…and yet. They are still there, drinking the damn kool-aide and thanking him for the poison. That turned my stomach so much.
They claim he’s changed. But a leopard does not change its spots so easily. Sure I was a shitbag in a number of my relationships because I was young, self-centered, and STUPID. I’ve done what I can to make amends to anyone I hurt back then. I’ve made it a point to reach out to my various exes that I know I did not treat as well as they deserved and have point-blank apologized for my shitty behavior, no excuses given.
But you don’t stop being a predator overnight. No matter how shitty I may have behaved, I sincerely doubt I have left anyone seriously scarred. I never got people drunk for the sole purpose of having sex with them (and they made it clear, while sober, and on many occasions, they were not interested in sleeping with him at all). I never told my significant other repeatedly how sexually attracted I was to their various friends…or parental figures. (Yeah, he used to really enjoy telling me how much he sexually desired my mother).
I could go on and on with the horrible shit he’s done, but what’s the point? It seems I’m the only one who sees him for what he is.
So yeah, while I wait for the next 48 hours to pass so that I can reblock him…I will make note of the friends we still have in common. And I will be asking myself, seriously, should I keep them as friends?
Yeah, poured myself a very stiff drink for tonight and I hope that I don’t have any nightmares.
All in all, it reminds me why I’m doing this banishing incense for damn sure. I want every remnant of him GONE from my life. And if that means certain mutual “friends” go as well? So fucking be it.
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