Doing This for ME

written:  July 24

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Two feathers I found on my walk with Josey-pup today. Gray feather is most likely from a dove. And the blue one is obviously from a blue jay.

I got on the elliptical after that and banged that out. Honestly, once I get past the 7-minute mark, it no longer SUCKS, so it’s just about putting in the time at that point. I’ve been listening to Omnia while I am on the elliptical. It gives me something to focus on other than the fact that this shit sucks! ::laughs:: And I figure as long as I can still sing along with most of the songs, I’m not dying. It always surprises me how good my cardio is, given how little cardio I do. I have to stop because my knees are weak, not because I’m out of breath.

And can I just say, I find it so incredibly empowering when I go upstairs after walking Josey-pup and doing my time on the elliptical to hit the showers…and I just have sweat rolling down my back and chest. I’ve stopped to really look at myself in the mirror, completely nude, with sweat slicking me down, and my hair sticking to my neck and back…and damn. I’m a beast.

I may never run any marathon. I may never be a tri-athlete. I may never be a model or on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Hell I may never have a flat stomach.

BUT. I’m fucking killing it right now.
I’m not doing this so I can look good in a swim suit.
Hell, I’m not really even doing it to lose weight.

I’m doing this for me. I’m doing this, to show myself just how fucking powerful I am.
I am doing this because my body needs the activity.
I’m doing this so I can be in good enough shape so I can take those Krav Maga classes that I’ve been talking about for YEARS.
I’m doing this 100% for ME.

My time on the elliptical is time that is 100% ME time. It’s all about me. It’s a time focused solely me. It’s my time when all my worries fade to the back of my mind and all I’m focusing on in the moment is my breath, the music, the beat of my heart, the dripping sweat, and the sweet balance of strength and fatigue in my legs. And I love the heat that courses through my body as it gets all active. Then comes the cool shower. I swear, nothing is as refreshing as a cool shower to wash all the sweat off. The almost cold water on my scalp? Damn near euphoric. And I picked up some body scrub at Tuesday Morning that smells AMAZING. I’m only using it after I walk Josey-pup and use the elliptical, kind of like a positive reward. ::smiles::