Sexy

written: July 4th

I took a “sexy selfie” before my shower this evening. I was curious just how long my hair was. David had complimented my hair earlier, as I wore it half up when we went out to eat. Turns out, my hair is long enough to completely cover my breasts – which is no small feat, to be honest. And I just felt so beautiful, with my hair, wavy from being in a braid most of the day, covering my breasts. So powerful. So confident, in that moment, I decided to capture it in a photo. I even sent it to my husband! ::laughs:: Besides, it’s not like anything was showing. My hair covered more than my bathing suit does!

To me, this was awesome mostly because my anxiety has truly been kicking my ass all weekend. And finally, I had a moment that I could see my own beauty. I didn’t feel like hiding away. I felt radiant and I needed to capture that to remind myself that it is there, even when my mind denies it.

I plan to print a copy of the photo to place in my journal and my Book of Shadows. Maybe I will be so bold as to hang a copy up in my room?

That is one of the things I like about the Left-Handed Path. It encourages pride in self. It encourages positive sexuality and positive body image. All things I could certainly use more of!

I am tired of feeling like I don’t measure up to Society’s Standards of Feminine Beauty. And even more so, I’m tired of feeling like I should be ashamed and that I should hide myself away because I don’t meet these Society’s Standards of Feminine Beauty. Fuck that noise! I am ready to embrace some serious empowerment here.

I feel that the Krav Maga classes should help in the empowering department. I should go by the dojo sometime soon and see what the cost will be. They offer classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, which work out fine for me, even once my after school program starts back up.