Everything feels so incredibly OFF today. Like everything is a painting that isn't hung
quite straight. It's leaning to one side
or the other...not enough to be immediately noticed, but you realize it, the
longer you look at it. Amazing how just
a few millimeters can make all the difference in the world.
I guess it goes to show that I'm rusty when it comes to
communing with Spirits. I don't think
I'm 100% back yet. I can also toss in
that my MoonTime is impending. Or that
I've had a headache for three days straight now. Not a migraine, but just a steady ache in my
head...enough to be noticed, but not overly distracting.
I can blame this on a hundred and one things, but in the
end....it's all still off kilter.
Doesn't help that my loathing of my coworker Christina (at
the Tech Job) has reached a near palpable state. It definitely has a texture to
it...spongy. Reminds me of the time my
brother killed his first deer and Steven (my Mom's long time boyfriend) was
helping him field-dress it in the garage.
I touched the lung and it has a very distinct spongy texture to it. That is what my loathing of Christina feels
like.
I hate how negative I have allowed myself to become. I essentially take on all of Christina's
negativity and harbor it inside me. And
when my husband gets home, I unleash it all on him. Not that I'm being rude or ugly, but that I'm
sharing all the crap she did and said over the course of the day, and it gets
me all worked up again. That's not
healthy. And why should I be bringing
HER negativity into MY home? That is
stopping here.
I'll need to shield myself psychically before I can work
with her again. I'll probably wear my
medicine bag (with my protection charm from my Vision Quest and my lil mountain
lion Zuni fetish). I'm thinking of using
the Harpies' War Water to draw a protection rune on my front door to keep more
of that negativity out. Maybe even put a
thumb print of it on my forehead to shield ME as well. And I think it's about time that I talk to
our bosses and see about working with someone else. This isn't healthy for either of us, and I
know me. Eventually, I will snap and I
will cut her down to the quick with my words.
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