Wilk

written April 18th

::dances around all giddy like::

I received an email confirming the shipment on my Wolf Ring that I purchased about three weeks ago from Elina Gleizer over in Israel.  I purchased it as an early "happy 9th anniversary of being Self-Injury Free" present.   It'll be a while yet before it actually arrives, but at least it's on its way now!  I can't wait to wear it.

So this seems like the proper introduction into talking about the Totem Wolf and what She means to me.

Wolf has been with for as long as I can remember.  I've always loved them, been fascinated by them.  Even the first part of my maiden name, "Wilk" translates into "Wolf", so you see, Wolf is Me.

And for as long as I can remember, I've had a special affinity for animals.  I've considered myself more beast than human, down to my core. 

For me, the Wolf is the embodiment of my very Spirit.  It is what is inside of me that keeps me wild and yearning for more.  Loyalty is the key word when talking about Wolf.  And that's me.  I'm loyal, almost to a damn fault.  Once I've given my loyalty to something, it takes a serious act of betrayal for me to retract that loyalty.  But once it's gone, it is gone for good. 

Wolf is the first spirit I really started working with.  And I didn't even call Her a spirit at that point.  I just knew how much the Native Americans revered the Wolf and knew the totem aspects, and so that's what I wanted to bring into my life.  The more I worked with her, the more I realized she was more than just "an animal".  This was a specific Wolf that helped me.  She has personality traits all of her own.  And she was more like me than I realized...she has her good days and her bad days.  She has her own prejudices and fears.  And that doesn't make her any less of a creature...it just makes her unique.  And the same goes for me.  My weaknesses and faults, while they do need to be strengthened, do not mean I'm any less of a creature than any other person here on earth.  We all stumble, we all fall.  It's a matter of how we get back up and continue on that defines us.

And Wolf teaches that every member within the Pack Hierarchy is worthy.  From the Alpha to the Beta to the Omega.  All have worth.  All are needed for the pack to remain healthy.  And no standing is set in stone.  It's fluid and changes on the situation.  If your strengths lie in hunting deer, then you'll be Alpha for.  But if we are hunting Bison, another will fill that roll, as their strengths dictate.  I like that.  It encourages me to be me, to realize that my individuality is a STRENGTH and an ASSET to my Pack and that I bring the highest honor, when I embrace that.