Spartacus Wisdom

written: April 22nd

David and I have been watching Spartacus on NetFlix recently and I’m loving it.

And the reason I enjoy it is because it shows REAL nude people. The women don’t have the super perky porn-star breasts. They look more like my own. And that is refreshing.

Granted, they are all in FAR better shape than I am currently, but that is something I can work on myself. I can change my eating habits. I can work out. I can even take martial arts classes. All of that is achievable. But porn-star tits? Yeah, that would require surgery and/or an act of god.

It’s like last Saturday when I finally broke down and went to Victoria’s Secret to get another bra. This adorable petite 20-something girl bounced up to me to help me out, which I did need, as they had changed the store completely around since the last time I was there. It was going fine until she asked me if I wanted a “push up bra” or a demi. I pointed looked at her, and her tiny B-cup breasts and then looked at my double-Ds. And laughed. I told her a push up would require an act of god. And to her credit, she didn’t miss a beat but chuckled along with me and said “fair enough”.

Yeah, like I seriously need to add MORE to these bitches. Are you kidding me? Maybe if I worked somewhere where it would be appropriate to flaunt my goods, I would be interested in a good push up bra. But I work with children for the most part and I don’t need a push up bra. The other job at Starbucks, I already get more than enough unwanted male attention. Why would I do things to add to that? Yeah, like I want MORE creepy stalker-male attention. At least the green apron does quite a bit to mask my breasts.

Hell, if anything else, I would love to get a reduction done. I would kill to be just a C-cup once more. To be able to wear button-down shirts? To be able to actually wear shirts made for women? To not have strap marks almost permanently etched into my shoulders from carrying this bad-boys? SIGN ME UP!!!! Currently, I think I could live a good 6-months off the fat stored on my chest.

So yeah, back to Spartacus. None of those women (and they show a LOT of topless women) have the unrealistic breasts that are so prolific in our culture parades around us all the time. And honestly, I didn’t realize how much it effected me until I was watching a show with tons of natural breasts. And these are gorgeous women of all sorts of backgrounds, ages, ethnicities, etc. And all of their boobs look like mine, regardless of size. And I finally felt ok about my own breasts. I don’t have to look like Jenna Jameson to be beautiful. I’m not less of a woman because my boobs hang naturally.