The Four Core (Plus One)

written Wednesday, April 8th

It's amazing what a challenge this NaJoWriMo is turning out to be for me -- all because I chose "spirituality" as my theme.  Here, I foolishly thought the words would simply pour out of me.  That I would be Divinely touched with inspiration (or, do I dare whisper "madness" as well?) each day for an entire month.  Indeed, there for a while the poems, inspirations from conservations with various spirits I've partnered up with, flowed oh-so-easily onto the page -- so effortless.  With those, I simply opened myself up, held on, and rode that flowing river, wherever it would take me.  I was merely along for the ride. 

Damn was I arrogant in believing I could tap into that at will.  I am sure with more dedication and practice, I could indeed tap in easier, but that is not a skill I posses in the present time.  And apparently this was a short coming I needed to be reminded of by my oh-so-NOT-fluffy Spirits. ::laughs::  Though, I wouldn't trade Them for the world.

So who or what do I exactly mean when I say "Spirits" in my usage?

First and foremost is Sekhmet, the Egyptian lioness-headed goddess of war, divine protection, retribution, healing, and the sun.  A goddess of contradictions, but an intensely loyal and just goddess.  This is the deity I am dedicated to.  I own three statues of Her (and kindly enough, two were gifts from Susan V., a dear friend).  And I commissioned a portrait of Sekhmet from another friend, Kimberly S., that hangs above my altar.  Sekhmet's man symbol for me is the white lion/lioness (NOT an albino).

Next up are the Harpies, relatively new spirits I am working with.  Though they were originally storm goddesses, I don't label them as deities per se, like Sekhmet.  These are less rigid in appearance, more visceral in energy and the way they feel.  Of the four named Harpies, the one I work with specifically is Celaeno -- "the dark".  Our relationship is certainly more of a "working partnership".  She doesn't care for at altar at this moment (though, she seems to have plans for one in the future), but does like offerings for any work she agrees to do for me -- specifically coffee and a particular dark red wine.

Third is the one I simply call La Lupa -- Latin for The SheWolf.  She is THE Wolf Spirit/Totem, the core, the original, the one that all the wolves come from and return to.  I've worked with her, followed her, listened to her, and have loved her long before any other.  The wolf has always been with me and is the embodiment of my Highest Self.  Honestly, I refer to myself as a wolf and in wolf terms.  I see my Spirit as part (if not all) wolf.  To me, it would be the greatest gift in this entire world to be a shapeshifter, and to be able to physically turn into a wolf.

And last of all is the Serpent -- a spirit with two names, reflecting the two paths it represents to me.  The first name is Pythia -- the ancient Apollo oracle at Delphi -- always female.  This is the source of my divinely inspired poetry -- the god-touched madness that is hauntingly beautiful.  The second name is one of only two males I'll tolerate in my current spiritual customs -- Lucifer -- the Light Bringer.  Lucifer is not a deity -- not really even a spirit I have any lasting contact with.  Mostly he is here to sharpen me, to challenge the status quo that I don't even realize I am accepting.  He is like this blinding spotlight that shines down on a particular behavior/belief/custom and simply questions "Why this way?  Why not this other way?".  And then he retracts and leaves me to ponder and figure it out for myself.  It's all about self-reliance.  He's certainly not going to give me all (or even most) of the answers.  He merely questions, hints, and points a new way.  The rest is up to me.

And I guess I should mention the other male I sometimes call on -- Cernunnos -- the ancient Celtic antlered god of the wilds and the forests.  Mostly he's the one I pray to when I see a dead animal.  I say a prayer for every one that I come across, releasing their spirit from their corpse and sending back to Cernunnos.  I'm not arrogant enough to believe that it's 100% my prayer that aids them in their passing, but you know, sometimes it's just the fact that someone cared enough to pray for them -- that even though they may be small, or they may be viewed as varmints by the general public, I took the time out of my day to mourn their passing and to say a prayer.  Everything deserves at least that.