Sometimes I forget the trauma I’ve been exposed to and that
I’m carrying around. It goes months, even years, without it being
triggered. But then one little thing sets it off and I’m in a tailspin.
Two patrons got physically aggressive today – a woman took a picture of man, and he asked her to delete it. She refused, so he chased after her. He’s claiming she swung at him. So many people stepped in to separate them before it became physical. But just the raised, angry male voice has set off a major adrenaline surge and my fight or flight response is fighting itself. Part of it wants to step in and stop it. And part it wants NOTHING to do with the whole situation – flee, and flee as fast as I can so I don’t become the target. Even now, an hour after the situation has been resolved, and everyone involved has left…I am still on high alert.
The guy involved, I already didn’t like. He reminds me way too much of certain individuals in my family and the people they run with. Trailer Trash for damn sure. And the arrogant way they walk. He has just rubbed me the wrong way from the get-go. And now this situation, I’m sure is going to really affect me anytime I see him now. And he’s a regular, so I’ll see him almost every single day.
But, all of this has brought to light WHY I want to take Krav Maga classes. The fear aspect of my response today is due to the fact that I don’t know how to protect myself. I don’t know how to truly defend myself in a manner that minimizes the damage I would take. So I guess this is my cosmic wake up call to stop putting the Krav Maga classes off. Hell, there’s even a place that I can take the classes that is less than 15 minutes from my house.
Two patrons got physically aggressive today – a woman took a picture of man, and he asked her to delete it. She refused, so he chased after her. He’s claiming she swung at him. So many people stepped in to separate them before it became physical. But just the raised, angry male voice has set off a major adrenaline surge and my fight or flight response is fighting itself. Part of it wants to step in and stop it. And part it wants NOTHING to do with the whole situation – flee, and flee as fast as I can so I don’t become the target. Even now, an hour after the situation has been resolved, and everyone involved has left…I am still on high alert.
The guy involved, I already didn’t like. He reminds me way too much of certain individuals in my family and the people they run with. Trailer Trash for damn sure. And the arrogant way they walk. He has just rubbed me the wrong way from the get-go. And now this situation, I’m sure is going to really affect me anytime I see him now. And he’s a regular, so I’ll see him almost every single day.
But, all of this has brought to light WHY I want to take Krav Maga classes. The fear aspect of my response today is due to the fact that I don’t know how to protect myself. I don’t know how to truly defend myself in a manner that minimizes the damage I would take. So I guess this is my cosmic wake up call to stop putting the Krav Maga classes off. Hell, there’s even a place that I can take the classes that is less than 15 minutes from my house.
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