Do The Damn Work

art from: Drinking Leopard
artist: Kevin Lucke

I am passionless.
I don't know how that happened, but I've come to realize it now.  I recognize it in myself.
I have no passion.

Sure, I can fake it from time to time, so other people don't see how bleak I've become.
But honestly, I'm a hollow husk of a shadow of what I used to be.

Is this depression that is sucking the color out of my world?
Is this depression that is silencing my inner feral spirit?
Is this depression that makes me just want to curl up in bed and wish the world would all just go away?
How terrible is it that I secretly hoped that the world would end just so I could be done with this crap?

I don't do a lot of photography.
The Project Life has made me realize how little I actually DO in life.

On Pinterest I came across an article titled 16 Ways I Blew My Marriage. 
And it really hit home for me.  I am so guilty of every single one of those items.
And not just in my relationship with my husband, but also with my Self.  I don't have any passion for my Self any more, so how can I find passion for anything else?

I've also come to realize I am a very unkind, unforgiving, cold, very angry person.  And I don't like that about myself.
So I'm setting about to change that too.  I've got a LOT of work ahead of me. 
But that's the nice thing about each morning -- it's a brand new day, a clean slate, and I get a do-over as often as I need.
 

Not sure exactly how I'm going to change all of this.
Turn this massive ship around.....on its head.
But it's got to happen.  I can't keep going down this track.  The scenery just sucks.

I have the power to chose a new path, to forge a new way.
I just got to stop being a lazy titty baby and DO the damn work.