Tomorrow is my first day working at Kids R Kids. I think it's just going to be all paperwork and training. I'm actually kind of hoping that's all it will be. I'm not exactly looking forward to working with the younger kids.
I'm trying my damnest to be more positive about the situation. It's a necessary evil, so I might as well look on the bright side.
This is what I'm having to do to get myself out of debt. Keep looking to the future. Visualize what life will be like without that damn credit card debit hanging over my head.
I picked up a polo shirt to wear tomorrow. I'll get one of Kids R Kids' fancy logo ones at some point. And I should buy another (they are $13 a pop).
My goal is to use the paychecks from Kids are Kids to build an emergency fund (Step One of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover) of $1000. After that, it will be extra payments on debt relief program until that's pay off and then extra payments on the Bank of America credit card to pay it off.
The reward for paying everything off will be a trip to Wolf Park. I seriously need a carrot to keep me going, and that trip is going to be it. It's a whole lot cheaper than the Polar Bear trip, so I'll be able to save up for it quicker once the debt is gone. After that, it's crazy saving for a house and then the Polar Bear trip.
I'm trying to break my bad habit of depressive thinking. I've become a wallower. I wallow in self-pity, self-doubt. And I don't like it anymore. So I'm going to work on that.
I've agreed to do Buns of Steel with Allie. A lot of those moves are similar to the ones I was supposed to do for physical therapy for my bad knee (but very rarely did), so it will be part working out and part PT for me. I'm hoping it will help strengthen my knees so that I can get back to using the elliptical and start shedding some of these pounds. I don't want to be scrawny, but I could certainly stand to loose a good 60 pounds and tone up. I'd much rather be toned and in shape than skinny as a twig. Hopefully by the time I'm physically able to do mixed martial arts lessons, I'll be able to afford to do them. I want to be able to defend myself properly should the occasion ever arise. I'm tired of being scared of becoming a victim again. I know I should probably look into some therapy for that, but I ask you which would be better? Talking about my fears of being a victim, or learning how to kick ass should someone be stupid enough to fuck with me? Yeah, the fighting skills just seem better in my opinion. And if, after learning how to defend myself, the fear is still there, then I can go to therapy and change the thinking to reflect reality. It's not like I can only do one or the other.
So yeah, that is what is going on with me and my mind at the moment.
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