Letting Go

If 2020 has taught me anything, it’s to let go of things that I initially thought were Super Important, but turn out to be not-quite-so-important.

Typically, at this point in the year, I would be gearing up hard-core for my Tabula Rasa ritual. It’s a ritual I came across ages ago in a Sage Woman magazine. It’s a clean slate ritual. Essentially, you go through the past year, and tally up the good and the bad the past year brought you. You celebrate the good. You figure out where you could do better in regards to the bad. Then release the bad. You do a year ahead Tarot/Oracle reading and set your intentions for the coming year.

I say “typically”, because I’m not doing that this year. I kind of already checked in on my high points in my Christmas cards I sent out this year. With my mental state this year, I kept a firm eye on any and all achievements and reminded myself, that while the year may have been an utter shit show as a whole, there was still a lot of good packed into it all the same. I had a lot of things to be grateful for all the same. And I will NOT be tallying up the bad. Because, that will NOT be helpful AT ALL for my mental health right now. I know how dark it’s gotten for me at points. I know how to pull myself out of those (been doing that fucking year, thank you VERY much). And I know what to do in the future to hopefully turn the tides before they become that dark again. So why lay it all back out in stark black and white? Um, yeah, that’s a hard pass from me.

I will, however, write down the things I intend to leave behind in 2020 and gleefully burn those.

I think between my birthday goals (39 goals for my 39th year), plus 101 goals in 1001 days…I do believe I more than have a handle on setting my intentions for the coming year. I have my word of the year chosen. I just need to finish up the page on it. I’m debating between two different totems for the year. Normally, I would be bull-headed and just push through it and choose one. But, I’m letting go of that. Instead, I’m electing to sit back, and see which one takes the forefront.

Or perhaps, I am meant to have both of these totems for 2021. It wouldn’t surprise me. After all, 2020 changed its totem and its word half way through the year.