Normal Sucks

I cannot articulate what this screams at me right now. I’ll try, but I’m sure I’ll fall far short of the mark.

It started with a spam email. The subject line was “We’re young and we’re pissed off, and we’re going to do something about it”. It was an email from a group that I signed their petition to keep abortions legal and accessible to Texas women.

And my cynical side retorted “I’m too tired to be pissed off.”

And I thought to myself, “How fucking sad is that?”

But it’s a mind-loop I’ve been racing around on for days now.
I miss my passion. I miss my drive. I miss my sense of adventure.

In a nutshell? I miss my mania. I miss my psychosis.
This being normal shit sucks. This being responsible for everything I did while “enjoying” my manic years sucks even more. ::chuckles:

And I really, I think me being so damn anti-social is making it all worse.
I know I need to get out and do SOME sort of socializing. Hell, I even want to at times. But when it actually comes down to doing it? I freeze and then bolt in the other direction.

I need to sit down and write a list of things that I enjoy doing. Things I’m interested in. Things that peak my interest/passion. And then I need to go out and do those damn things.