Mabon, Maat, and Meaning

Yesterday was Mabon, the Autumn Equinox, the 2nd harvest.  I was lucky enough to finally get to attend ritual with my Coven.  I haven't ritualized in a number of months now, and was really missing my Witches.

Kiranae wrote the ritual. 
We Cast the Circle and Called in the Quarters using "Great Voice".  Which essentially means silently. 
While I've Cast and Called this way before, this time around I just wasn't feeling it.  I guess, honestly, I'm just out of practice.  *chuckles*  I called in the South, which is my standard Direction.  I had a hard time feeling it, and usually when I call in the South, it knocks ya over.  *chuckles*

Rose (High Priestess) called down Ma'at -- Egyptian Goddess of Balance (among other things, but we were focusing on Balance).
Beowulf (High Priest) called down Thoth -- Ma'at's husband and Sacred Scribe.

The rest of us, took some time to reflect on the various aspects/sections of our lives and see where the balance was or wasn't.  On a red piece of paper we wrote down what we wished to banish from our lives. 

I wrote down FEAR OF CHANGE and my constant SELF-SABOTAGE.

On a yellow piece of paper, we wrote down what we wished to bring into our lives.

I wrote down EMPOWERMENT and RECONNECTION (to self and to others).

The Thoth, embodied by Beowulf, took each one of us individually before Ma'at to have Her speak with us.
I was scared to face the Goddess.  I know my life is crazy unbalanced and I feared what She would say.

She told me that I was Balanced.
She warned me to not let all the things circling me to make me dizzy.  I was jumping from subject to subject without accomplishing anything.  And all that swirling around me, was shutting me down.
My time of floating is coming to an end.  I need to focus.  I need to listen to my heart/spirit and it will tell me where my focus belongs.

Talk about humbling. 
So very humbling.

It's experiences like this that make me so grateful to be a Pagan. 
So grateful for my Coven, which facilitates these brushes with the Divine.

And that's why I'm asking for Initiation.  *smiles*