Bam!

Unknown Artist

Oh my goodness, this has been the utter week from hell.
Hell, this entire school year (all FOUR weeks of it) have been utter hell.
The parents are driving me utterly batty, and apparently they believe they can walk all over me.  *chuckles* 
Boy, are they in for a rude awakening.
I apparently didn't get the memo that everyone was eating the cupcake of utter delusions today.

As I was taking a moment of calm in the bathroom at work today (the only place I could find a moment of calm, to be honest), I was grousing about how horrible today had been.
I couldn't understand why a job I sincerely enjoy, had so drastically changed.

And bam!  It hit me like a lightning bolt to the head of my dick (to quote the movie Stepbrothers...great movie by the way) -- a moment of clarity when all the puzzle pieces fell into place.

If I remain comfortable in this job, I will never leave it...I will never get out of the child care field. 
As long as I'm comfortable, I'll remain here, in this rut.

These are the beginning labor pains.  The first tinges of pain that are signaling what is to come.
These labor pains brought me home today, with the overwhelming desire to punch the wall until 1) I punched a hole in the wall, 2) I punched a hole in my hand or broke it, or 3) all of the above, to simply get out my rage.  Thankfully, instead, I comforted myself with bbq chips.  *chuckles*

But the pains are a signal. 
The birth, the change is coming.

And I can either fight it tooth and nail, every step of the way, and make it as painful as possible, without changing the final outcome.

OR

I can breathe through this pain. (take it one day at a time; focus on the good)
I can prepare for the birth. (begin looking for another job)
And I can rejoice in the gift I'm about to receive.  (a new job; a new career; a new Path)

Gotta look deep into my own soul and find that inner strength that I know I possess.
It's time to go on the War Path and Conquer this old foe. (fuck you fear; fuck you self-doubt; fuck you self-sabotage)