I Hear You

Man, I got my teeth kicked in today (a turn of speech here, my teeth are fine).

I got my grade back on the Hellacious Project of Doom for INFO 5200 – a fucking 81. That was like a sucker punch to the gut that I wasn’t expecting at all. Hell, I didn’t even know I was in a fight. And that came out of left field and just leveled me.

Don’t get me wrong. I know my Draft 2 of the Project of Doom (oh yes. that means there’s MORE of the Project of Doom as the semester continues) wasn’t Grade A level. But an 81? That’s a few scant points above a goddamn C!!!

So I went out to the balcony to smoke and grumble about it to my husband. Remember, we live on the third floor.

And this beautiful, sleek Sharp-shinned Hawk zips below us between the two apartment buildings. I love these guys as they are the true sleek winged predators of the air. They don’t soar lazily like the Red-tailed Hawks. No these guys are like the cheetahs of the savanna. Sleek, purposeful, and lethal.

And then, in the big cottonwood tree that has a direct line of sight to our balcony....a huge, black crow bullies out all the doves. And she sits there, looking and me, and caws and caws and caws. It’s almost like laughter, she’s enjoying her noise so much.

I’m not 100% sure yet what the message is, but I hear you Divinity. I recognize Your hand in this.

And, knowing how my goddesses/spirits/totems like to operate, if I don’t “get” the message, it becomes louder, more insistent, and far less gentle to my life.

So yes. I hear you. I hear you.