Shutting Down

I find myself shutting down so much right now.

To say I'm stressed out about the house-hunting would get a gross understatement.  Since getting the FitBit for Christmas from my Mom it's been interesting to see how this stress is effecting my heart rate.

Prior to looking at the first house ever, my resting heart rate was around 74 beats per minute.  Since beginning the true house hunting in earnest, my resting heart rate is at 82 beats per minute.

My writing has tapered off a LOT.  I'm still getting a bit written every day, but I don't really enjoy it all that much. 

And I know this is a stepping stone.  I won't be caught in this limbo forever.  But it's made me realize how much I HATE not knowing all the information.

I mean, I don't have to know so much that I have a Ph.D. in this.....but I at least need to know I have a good steady foundation of knowledge.  And in this instance, I don't, and I am panicking.  Panicking so bad.

And I'm constantly second-guessing our agent.  Because I feel he isn't giving me the information I want/need.  Honestly, I would like to sit back down with him in his office and go over everything again for like an hour or so, to make sure I understand as much as I can.

Just not sure when we can actually do that.  Damn jobs getting in the way.

Oh well, I'm sure it'll calm down....sometime. 

Hopefully soon.