Thankful Thursday

Today’s #cy365 prompt is “Smile”.



So I took a photo of my Frappuccino and Rice Crispy Treat Bar that I had at work. Gotta fuel up before the students arrive!

I am thankful….
1. To be done with the Writing Buddies’ Journal Swap for now. I mailed DB’s journal back to him on Tuesday. I keep saying I’m going to bow out and then I forget until the journal arrives unannounced in my mail box. Maybe I secretly like the fact that it guilt’s me into journaling? ::shrugs:: Who knows?
2. Ordered my Imbolc candle today. I know, I have a bit of time between now and Imbolc (February 2nd), but the lady that makes these AMAZING candles does them in very small batches. So, I’m learning my lesson, because I missed getting her Yule candle, so I snagged the Imbolc today.
3. Working heater in my house. The weather has been cold lately, so I am deeply grateful for a heater that makes it enjoyable to be home.
4. Being back at work again. Missed my lil hooligans. My grumpy aide and my shitty boss – not so much. ::laughs::
5. Lauren (aide from last year) was able to come by and hang out for a few hours. It was nice catching up with her and I know the students were thrilled to see her again.
6. That I don’t have to run my husband anywhere tomorrow morning. It’s been crazy to see how much doing that has completely thrown off my daily rhythm. But tomorrow SHOULD be all me, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things.
7. For red laser pointers. It allows me to easily wear out my pup when I am too much of a baby to walk her in the cold. ::laughs:: I can stand out in the yard for 10 minutes and run her close to ragged before moving the game into the house for continued destruction.
8. Being able to chat with family I have never met via FaceBook. I have connected with my father’s cousin (her father and my grandfather were brothers) – she and her family live in Australia. We’ve been sharing family information back and forth and it’s been pretty damn cool.
9. Getting hit with a flash of inspiration for my altar for Imbolc right at the red light that lasts forever! I was able to scribble down all the notes while waiting for the longest-red-light-ever to turn green.
10. Finding a “local” wilderness school that is offering a number of classes that peak my interests. Local is in quotations because it’s about 3.5 hours away….which is the same amount of time I drive to go see my mom, and that is with me staying in the same state. ::laughs:: Texas is crazy huge.
11. That my copy of Women’s Rites, Women’s Mysteries: Intuitive Ritual Creation, by Ruth Barrett arrived today. And since I finished up reading My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry, by Fredrick Backman, I can delve into this book right away.

All in all, it’s been a pretty good first week of 2017. Boss is still an idiot. Annoying aide is still annoying. But other than those minor irritations right now, everything else is pretty damn peachy.

Books, Rage, And Opportunity

The #cy365 photo challenge prompt for today was “Overlooked” which I found beyond uninspiring. Instead, I am sharing a photo of the cover of a book I just finished reading:



My mom lent me this book and said she thought I would enjoy it because I like the fantasy type reading. This book blends the fantasy with real world which made for a very interesting read. And I like the Grandmother’s spin on making real-world issues into fairy tales that her granddaughter can readily understand. I just didn’t like the random made up words because my brain sputtered at each and every one of them….every single time they appeared on the page…all 370 pages. Actually, I take that back. The completely made up words didn’t bother me nearly as much as the ones that were based on real words, but were changed just enough to be a nonsense jumble of letters. Those really bothered me.

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I have to fan-girl for a small second.

I have been following The Nephilim Rising page on Facebook for a while. It is Left-Handed Path oriented, pro-female, pro-sex, and just all around bad-assery. Anyways, the awesome woman running it shared a video clip of some Pegasus and everyone was commenting on how they wanted to know what movie it was from. And guess what? I KNEW the movie! So I left a note letting them know what movie it was in. And this awesome woman TAGGED me and THANKED me PERSONALLY for letting them know. Woot!

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Today, Rage is boiling just under my skin. Rage, like a tiger, stalking through my bones, my blood, my muscle. Clawing and scratching and wanting out. Out to destroy. Not to destroy so that something better can grow in its place….no. It wants to destroy for the sake of being destructive.

Maybe it’s due to the fact that I wasn’t able to use the elliptical and walk Josey. Because I was running David to his doctor’s appointment. That it sucked up my morning. That I’m pissed because it’s cold and horrible and I had zero desire to be out in it. Maybe it’s because my boss proved again how incompetent she is.

Or maybe I’m just being a whiny little bitch, snarling over here in the corner. ::sighs::

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So tomorrow is a new day. It’s a do-over. I can wipe the slate clean and set a new intention. And I’m really looking forward to this. I have to run David around to pick up his prescription in the morning. But after that, I’m getting my butt on the damn elliptical and I’m going to run this Rage out. Wear the tiger out so it doesn’t destroy the world.

I need to sit down and hash out my thoughts on the Jaguar totem I’ve claimed / that’s claimed me for 2017. There’s some thoughts fluttering around in my head, but that I just haven’t sat still with long enough to really give them weight. I need to roll them around in my hands and make them real before I can spill them out onto the page.

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Ooooh, I got to looking for a “local” (a very, VERY relative term in this massive state) group that does Vision Quests…..and I found an awesome group. Not only does it do Vision Quests, but a load of other classes I am really interested in. I just wish they had the 2017 calendar up so I could start planning for those classes. I have emailed them inquiring about the schedule and signed up for their newsletter. I am honestly kind of excited about it.

Jaguar Wolf Warrior

A fellow blogger, Spring in Jeans, commented on my previous entry with Manifest away jaguar, wolf, warrior! And I just LOVED it. I simply removed the commas to give myself an easy, three-word Mantra to sum up 2017 = Jaguar Wolf Warrior.

And then I came across this piece of art:


It is titled “Heart of the Jaguar” by Susan Seddon Boulet and it is PERFECT for this year. I need to get to cracking on a Vision Board for 2017.

#cy365 prompt for today: Contemplation

Well, I have two photos for this one.


First, is a photo that has quite the story attached to it.

I was picking up the above 7-day candle at Target when the cashier (an older, white lady) inquired if Hanukkah was still going on. I gave her a puzzled look, to which she replied “Well don’t you Jews use these candles for Hanukkah?”

You Jews? Really?

A few moments passed before I elected to tell her that 7-day candles are traditionally used for Saints and whatnot in CATHOLICISM.

That Jews typically use chime candles, which are slightly larger than birthday candles, in their lighting of the Menorah.

But, because I am neither of those, I was using this AMAZING candle on my Pagan altar.

That shut her up quite nicely, and I made sure to wish her an awesome day with the biggest, cheesy grin possible.

I just can’t get over how racist and all around prejudice in her remark, though I am at least happy she knows that Jews use candles in the Menorah. But everything else was just shitty.

Second photo is the one I had planned out in my head when I first read the prompt:


It is my Catch-All Journal (an awesome composition notebook that has one of those “adult coloring” designs on it….that I have not colored in at all, so it is all black and white, and I just love it), on my altar with a “Shadow” tea light from Sage Goddess (seriously, I have an addiction….but I am working very, VERY hard to severely limit my purchases from her website…..she is totally my guilty pleasure, I swear!) and the Gilded Tarot. See, I have been a bad Tarot Challenger and had not done ANY of my daily draws for this month yet. ::laughs:: So I did Days 1 through 3 right then.

I debated on which deck to use. I was tempted to use any deck OTHER than the Gilded Tarot. It does not sugar coat a damn thing. But honestly, it also calls me out on my bullshit, which is what I need. Not what I want, mind you, but what I need. So all of that to say, I am using the damn Gilded Tarot.

It has not sucker punched me at the moment…which has me very, very wary. It is being allusive, mysterious, and shadowy. Which has me very, very, VERY wary. Extremely wary. So right now, I am cautious and just waiting for the Gilded Tarot to hit me when I am least expecting it.

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Manifest & Jaguar

Woohoo for Day 2 of 2017!

A fairly productive day. I walked Josey and she’s doing better on these walks. It just sucked that someone else’s damn dog was out and about and I had to work hard to keep Josey listening to me while I’m also keeping an eye on this loose dog. So it was a good walk, but it ended on a sour note because Josey thought she was in trouble there at the end. ::sighs:: I hate that so many people just let their damn dogs run loose here from time to time. And this particular lady, I’ve seen her dog out TWICE now since 2017 started. I just wish I knew which house she lived in because I’ll go to her door and let her know (nicely) that her dog is out. I’m not looking to start a fight at all. I know how sad we would be if Josey was out and got hit by a car, and I certainly wouldn’t want this to happen to her dog. It’s not aggressive, but I can’t take the chance that this little dog will run up on us and Josey will seriously hurt and/or kill the dog. Because I’m pretty sure, in the eyes of the law, Josey would be labeled an aggressive dog and there’s a chance they could take her from us and destroy her. And, THAT, I can tell you, would send me and my husband over the edge. I wouldn’t be so damn polite at that point to the lady with the escapee dog.

On to the #CY365 challenge for today: One Word.



My One Word for 2017 is Manifest. I was kicking around rebirth, transformation, etc….but I didn’t care for the fiery death that is required of those to occur. I really try not to invite extra chaos into my life. I have enough naturally occurring within myself and with the deities/spirits I interact with that inviting MORE is borderline INSANE.

So Manifest instead. Not quite so phoenix or werewolf ish – not quite so much “destroy to rebuild”. Manifest (v). to make clear or evident to the eye or understanding; show plainly.

I intend to Manifest:
- My faith – to make it stronger and deeper, to clarify it more (well, as much as Witchcraft can be clarified)
- Better work environment – as the manager, I set the tone for my work environment and I’ve become far too caught up in petty bickering, between me and my supervisors, between me and my aides.
- A healthier financial realm – being more mindful of my spending and more aggressive in paying off debts
- A strong work ethic for my classes – going to achieve a 4.0 both semesters this year – and strive to continue improving my cumulative GPA.
- Saying Yes to myself – doing the things that bring lasting enjoyment – cutting down on the “junk food” in this department (the little trivial things that make me happy for a moment but just leave me wanting more; stuff that does not actually improve my life).

The Totem for this year is the Jaguar. I was wanting a totem that could see in the “dark” – so I could see all aspects of a situation and make better choices. I kicked around a number of animals before thinking of the Jaguar. And once I really started reading its totem qualities, it was like a sucker punch to the gut. THIS is definitely my animal for this year. And it is showing me some changes that will be made; ones that I can begin implementing now….or at least preparing for them now. I’m not sure when or how those challenges/changes will occur, but I can at least see them coming down the pipe and begin preparing now.

Smudging, Friends, And 2017

First day of a brand new year. It has a certain magic to it, I swear. I love the first day of the new year because everyone is so full of hope and possibility. Love it.

I elected to smudge down the entire house for the new year. I had forgotten just how smoky and pungent sage is. But once all of that aired out, the house certainly does feel lighter. I still need to go back over the house and smudge with sweetgrass. Sage banishes the bad, sweetgrass welcomes in the good. It’s just time consuming (not to mention ENERGY consuming) to smudge down a house, top to bottom, front to back. So yeah, sweetgrass tomorrow.

David had to work today so I had the whole day to myself. I did brunch with Liz and Julie at their new house. When Liz, Julie, and I all lived together, Julie used to cook Sunday Dinners to feed the masses. That’s part of the reason David and I even got together in the first place. It was nice to get to enjoy a big meal with them. Would have been better if David could have been there, like old times. But hopefully we can get that set up soon, one weekend (because David gets home so late in the evenings, and Liz and Julie have young kids). I really should make it more of a point to be more social with my friends. ::chuckles::

Anyways, back to today being January 1st. This is also a National Journal Writing Month (NaJoWriMo), so I’m shooting for the writing every day AND the 15,000 word goal for the month – breaks down to roughly 500 words a day. I’m also doing the #cy365 challenge. Though, to be honest, I may not necessarily follow all their prompts for the entire year. But I am striving for at least One Good Photo a day – and the prompts give me nudges to find something new and different to photograph each day. And I’ve found a daily Tarot Challenge as well for January. Just like I did back in October, the daily draws of the Tarot will be documented in my handwritten journal.

I also need to finish up the last little bits in the two journals I have that are a part of two different journal swaps. Luckily I still have a few days off before I have to go back to work. I foresee a lot of journaling and reading and relaxing until I have to go back to work. I actually miss my students, which is exactly what the Winter Break should do. I miss my students and am ready to jump back into the fray.

I’m finding that talking to other people about my Big Career Plans makes me more excited about them. Granted, I’m talking Top of the Top Big Career Plans here, but it gives me something to shoot for. Like the quote says “Shoot for the Moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars” by Les Brown. I guess I should break down and actually make a 5-year and 10-year plan. It would be interesting to see where I am in 5 years as compared to where I am right now.

Last Day of 2016

I’m writing this because I don’t want my last entry for 2016 to be all about me bitching and moaning. ::chuckles:: For some reason I have way too much pride for that to be my last entry.

So, even with the kick in the teeth that 2016 was at times....
It’s decided to be kind to me, here on its last day.

I found out today, that I have made it another year Cancer Free. ::huge sigh of relief::

No cancer. No HPV evident.
Hard to believe that 8 years ago, that wasn’t the case.

Onwards!

Tailspin/TailSPEND

Only makes sense that I’ve gone into a damn tailspin (or is it a tail SPEND???) here.
My spending has been out of the control.
Like no. Seriously. OUT. OF. FUCKING. CONTROL.

I spent $53 on Candy Crush level boosts because it was just $1.07 a pop. I have an addiction to the damn game.

I’ve put $400 on my credit card this month alone. And one of my goals was not to use my credit card ONCE until my birthday in NOVEMBER 2017.

Like what the ever loving FUCK, Wolfie????

I wish I could say it was for a good cause. Like I’m donating money to charity. Or purchasing items from a charity that does good things in the world. But that would be a big fat lie. I’m just spending to be spending and it’s money I don’t even fucking HAVE.
But it’s been a good wake up call to me. Time to tamp that shit down tight.

So little goals to do for January:
- remove my credit card from my PayPal account
- DON’T SPEND ANYMORE ON FUCKING CANDY CRUSH FOR GOD’S SAKE
- call my credit card and see about getting a lower interest rate (haven’t missed a payment in years now, so this should be fairly easy to do)
- talk to my bank about a loan (if their interest rate is lower than the CC, how much of a loan, for how long, what will the monthly payments be, etc)
- take the bank info and mull over it for at least 48 hours (talk it over with my mom)
- I’m also instituting the 48 hour rule for any non-necessary purchases