Fashionably Late

Ah, hello there, Dear Depression.
I was wondering when you were going to show up.
Two solid weeks of mania…followed by a week or so of normal behavior/mood. I knew you’d show up eventually.
Though, I will admit, I had hoped the invitation had gotten lost in the mail.
Or else, you had forgotten where I lived.
But no. Just fashionably late.
Thanks.
~~~~~~~
All joking aside, it’s been nothing short of brutal today. Almost like it’s trying to make up for lost time!
All that self-injurious behavior that I thought I was finally getting past, surged up to the forefront today. No worries. I’ve removed the blades from my room, just in case.
And then even suicidal idealization popped up for a second or two. Damn, haven’t had that in ages.
I’m really off my game at the moment. The No Caffeine is still going. Though, I’ve amended it to Seriously Cutting Back because the withdraw headaches were no fun. But seriously, I’ve only had 2 cups of coffee in the past four days....where as, normally, I’d have 10 - 12 in that same amount of time. But I’m still pushing forward. I still want to do 31 days. I should really devote a whole entry to that, as there’s a spiritual aspect to it that I won’t talk about on Facebook. I’m being judged far enough currently, so there’s no reason to add fuel to that fire.

But for now, I’m just focusing on me. I’m drinking a glass of wine. I’m reading a book my Mom sent me because she said it reminded her of my writing style in my wolf story. And basically, I’m just hiding out for now, waiting for the cloud to lift.