Wolfie 2.0

So I re-stumbled upon a particular motivational speaker on YouTube. I say “re-stumbled” because I’ve watched his videos previously, but this time around, they really struck a cord with me. Note: YouTuber I’m talking about is Clark Kegley.

I mean, he STRONGLY advocates for keeping a journal, so of course I’m intrigued.

So I’ve been doing some serious reflecting and self-truth-telling (which, even tho I’m 100% Scorpio and can see to the deep depths of others, I RARELY enjoy turning that laser sight on myself). And I’ve been asking myself, what would Wolfie 2.0 look like (taking from Kegley’s concept of Wolfie right now is 1.0; what would the next evolution of Wolfie look like – hence Wolfie 2.0). Like, if everything went perfectly and according to plan, what would I look like in my wildest dreams?

And I’m realizing…while I’m FABULOUS at making goals, I suck serious ass when it comes to following through with said goals.

So that’s what I’m focusing on at the moment.

And using Jashii Corrin’s (another YouTuber) monthly goal check-in system is also making sure I check-in with each individual goal every month.

I have an appointment tomorrow with my doctor to discuss my anti-depression medication regiment. Depression has been kicking my ass 7 ways ‘til Sunday. And honestly, I’m tired of just holding on.

So this is me, embracing my Word of the Year: Proactive.

Instead of waiting around for my depression to get better, I’m trying to improve it.
Instead of waiting around for my ideal self to just magically appear, I’m seeking to understand how and why I sabotage myself, over and over.

::chuckles:: Man, I understand now, why people would get spooked when I turn my Scorpio laser vision on them, and see through all their bullshit (regardless if they were trying to pull the wool over my eyes, or just over their own eyes). This shit sucks.

But Wolfie 2.0, with her kick-ass life, doing kick-ass things? She isn’t going to just magically materialize out of the ether.