I had a Zoom meeting with the tech that will be doing the TMS on me. I like her well enough. But....I dunno. Something feels a bit off. The Clinic I’m going to has the highest success rates in the nation.... Because they combine TMS with therapy and working through a Mindfulness about Depression (or something along those lines) book as well. And I dunno…just getting cult-ish vibes. But that COULD be due to me listening to all these true crime videos – predominately ones about cults. So yeah.
Oh, and they do counseling as well. Which is another reason why they have such a high success rate. But man, I am NOT wanting to process any of this shit right now. Just zap my brain and let’s be done with it.
I go tomorrow for my meeting with the Nurse Practitioner (NP) tomorrow morning. I’m sure I’ll have to go through my trauma AGAIN at this point. Honestly, for my own mental health, I think I’m going to tell her to pull up my file – either the 4 hour long Clinic questionnaire I did, or the recap with the Psychiatrist, OR the one I did with the Tech. Because, I don’t have it in me to go through ALL of that AGAIN. I mean, I’ve rehashed my trauma more times in the past couple of WEEKS than I have in YEARS and my mental health is taking one HELL of a beating for it.
In non-TMS/Trauma news, we are FINALLY out of the Ransomware Era at work....kind of. ::laughs:: We are about 25% up. We can check OUT all the damn items we’ve been just keeping in Word Docs, and we can update patrons’ accounts AND create new accounts. But that’s it. Our catalog and all that jazz is still completely down. We spent 44 days completely down. And man, I KNOW I’m going to miss the shit out of how calm and peaceful work has been. But all good things must come to an end. ::sighs::
I got my physical done with Dr. O – required for the TMS Clinic. And for the most part, everything was about what I expected it to be. But my weight was a LOT higher than the last time I was in her office, and I’m NOT happy about that one bit. Gonna have to get on that soon. Guess my diet of coffee, donuts, cigarettes, and peanut butter isn’t that sustainable. Yeah, I’ve been COMFORT feeding for a while. ::looks up at the whole TMS thing:: Yeah, can’t IMAGINE why I’m doing that.
And after my appointment with Dr. O I had to do a blood draw (again to screen for all the things my Psychiatrist wants me screened for). That required SEVEN vials of blood plus a cup of urine. I am very proud of myself. I didn’t get woozy until the 7th vial. But yeah, got SUPER lightheaded, sweating, and nausea. ::chuckles:: Good times.
And then later on this month, I’ll be doing my yearly gyno visit as well. You know, I’m about OVER June and all these various doctor/health appointments.
BUT, something cool. I DID finally buy myself an Apollo Neuro. I’ve been eying them for over a YEAR, but the price kept it out of reach. But with the income tax return being so nice, and my mental health being ALL OVER the board, I figured, this couldn’t hurt. And man, I ADORE it. No clue if it actually HELPS with calming or energizing or any of that. But I find the vibrations just soothing if nothing else. Comforting. So, even if that is ALL it does? I’m happy I bought it. I wear it on my ankle at the moment. Though I do want to get a smaller band, so I can wear it on my wrist at night.
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