Goal Getter

So I’m redoing my 101 goals in 1001 days and making it more “official” by utilizing their website to host my list of goals.

I’m currently up to 74 goals and still trucking on them.  Add to this, that I’m also setting up my 44 goals for my 44^th year….and yeah, LOTS of dreaming it occurring.

Quite a few of the goals revolve around culling out various hoarding I have done over the years – oracle and tarot decks, to wands, to stones, to perfumes, etc.  Just will need to figure out where to sell them off.  Most likely eBay or directly to friends.  I’m not looking to get rich off of it by any means.  I just want it to go somewhere that it will actually be appreciated…instead of collecting dust and space here in my home.

The Question

The Pen Show is tomorrow and Saturday.  I asked off for that and our anniversary.  I’m debating if I really even want to go to the Pen Show.  Financially?  Fuck no.  After paying the balance on the maker pen that’s coming from Australia, I really don’t have money to purchase any pen at the show.  And I definitely do NOT need anymore notebooks.  So really, the only reason I would go is in case they have a special ink made for the Pen Show itself.  It’s been done in the past, so it IS a possibility.  But at the same time, I’m currently working through the inks I have, and culling out the ones I know I will NOT use.

To go, or not to go……..

The Beginning

Pretty sure I’m in perimenopause.  Isn’t that just grand.  ::rolls her eyes::

Yeah, got hit with a hot flash out of nowhere today.  You know, I didn’t think hot flashes would be especially bad for me.  But I forgot that when I get overheated, I get so nauseous.  And yeah, today, I had fans going at work.  The building was a crisp 69 degrees.  AND I was fanning myself manually with a thin notebook.  And the entire time, I was repeating over and over in my head like a mantra “Do not throw up.  Do not throw up.  PLEASE do not throw up”. 

And as fast as it came, it left.  And then the headache descended. 

Seriously NOT looking forward to possible YEARS of this shit.

GLORIOUS

Last night I dreamt that I pretty much dumped Psycho Ex into the realm of the Fair Ones and skipped away. I just remember the look of utter hopelessness and betrayal on his face when he realized where I left him it was FABULOUS. I wish I could bottle up that feeling and use it whenever I’m having a down day. Because I pretty much rode a high ALL DAY. Anytime I’d start feeling a bit “meh”, I would remind myself of his look of utter abandonment of all home his face had when I danced out of the door, leaving him trapped with the Fair Ones.

Now, some of you may recall that I have absolutely ZERO dealings with the Fair Ones....but this? This I would gladly do.

Numbers

So let’s spitball some numbers here.

Leviathan turned 19 years old this month.  I can hardly believe I’ve had my lavender serpent for almost 2 decades!

Hubs turned 50.  We did dinner at Medieval Times and had a blast.

I’ll be turning 44 in November. 

Just wild how fast time flies by once you stop and look back at all that has been accomplished/endured/dominated. 

I’ve been with my current library for 5 years now.  Crazy to stop and think about that.  I never thought I would ever truly leave child care/education behind.  But yeah, I honestly haven’t looked back once I got out.  And from what former coworkers have told me, I got out when the getting was good.  Such a shame.  It was a fabulous afterschool program in the beginning.  And to think I worked there for 12 years.

Two Into One

I’m exchanging two terrible debts for one reasonable debt.
One credit card had $2500 on it, with an APR of something in the realm of 23%. The other credit card was sitting at $15,000 on it with an APR of 17%. I was making payments without issue, but with the credit as high as it was WITH that high of an APR? Yeah, I was just treading water.
So, I took out a private loan for $16,000 with an APR of just 7%. They have it set up to be a standard 5 year loan, but I can elect to pay it back quicker without penalty. So I can actually get it PAID OFF. Woohoo, I can’t wait.
It’s just a HUGE, HUGE, HUGE weight off of my shoulders. I knew it was a heavy weight, but I didn’t realize how much it was utterly CRUSHING me. I feel like I can breathe now.

Feral

As I inch closer and closer to my birthday (55 days away), the more obsessed I become with creating my list of birthday goals.  This year, since my mental health has been in the shitter more so than usual, I’ve been writing and rewriting my possible goals a thousand times over.  Making lists of goals gives me something to look forward to plus it distracts the mean part of my brain so it stops beating me up.

Doesn’t help with the world being the way the world is.

Job’s a bit more chaotic.  Pambie retired abruptly in August and we are without a manager until October.  So we’re all just rolling with the chaos before we have to behave like anything OTHER than the feral goblin raccoons we are.