Recapping

written:  November 16th

Photo for day:

 

Damn katydid is eating my roses. I know, I shouldn’t be complaining as my roses are STILL blooming in the middle of friggin’ November. But I would be happier if the damn katydid wasn’t munching on them currently. I do need to tie some of the newer canes up to keep them from being completely bent to the ground. The blossoms are heavy and tend to bloom in major clusters. All in all, a good problem to have, in my opinion.

So yeah, to say the staff meeting today was a clusterfuck would not even begin to scratch the surface out just how fucked up it was. I wrote a MASSIVE long entry about it already and I have no desire to revisit that now. I will be lodging a complaint with HR in the morning. I have to fill out this special form, but at least I can scan and email it once it’s done. Plus, I would hate to have to handwrite today’s crap-storm…with the form being a Word Document, I can type it so much faster than I could ever hope to handwrite. And honestly, my hands are so out of shape in that regard now. I remember the last time I did the Morning Pages…in the beginning I would have to take multiple breaks to rest my poor hand as it was cramping up before three pages were written. And to think, I used to write all of my college papers longhand before typing them up. ::shakes her head::

Paula did text me later on the in evening, to apologize if any of her comments added to my feeling of complete alienation during the meeting. She’s been a good friend for a while, and a friend on Facebook (which means something deeply to me, as I do NOT censor myself on Facebook), so she’s WELL aware that I’m Pagan and a crazy liberal. I’m sure she subconsciously knows that I’m bisexual, even though I’m not super out about that. There’s just no reason to be, as I’m in a very committed relationship and have zero desire to cheat on my husband, so honestly, my sexuality is very rarely a topic. But she would certainly know that I’m pro-equal rights for the LGBTQ community. She’s usually very conscious of equality in just about everything, hence why we are such good friends. But this also explains why her callous remarks were so hurtful, because it really was the last thing I expected from her.

Honestly, I think that the meeting threw everyone for a loop….well, no. Not everyone. Some weren’t phased at all and continued with their WASP commentary. But for the bulk of us, it was so out of left field and SO terribly handled that all of us were just caught off guard. And it sucks, because someone really should have been able to stand up and shut that shit show down, but all of us were just flabbergasted at it.

It is hard to stand up and say something, when there is a good chance there can be some serious repercussions for doing so. It’s hard to stand up and say something, outing yourself, and thus very realistically putting your job on the line. And it’s really hard to stand up and say something when you get the rug pulled out from under you like that. ::shakes her head:: So yeah, I’m not happy that I didn’t take the opportunity to speak up and say something. But I will not remain silent. By remaining silent, I am saying “This is ok”. And it is NOT ok.

So wish me luck. I will be making my stand shortly. I hope it doesn’t completely out me, as I’m not ready for that yet. But if that is what it takes, then so be it. Hopefully by me speaking up, it will give others to courage to stand up as well, in whatever way best suits them.

And, should this shit blow back on me in a negative light, I WILL secure legal counsel and take it as far as that fight needs to go. Again, I hope it doesn’t go that far.