Wow, today was a complete and utter kick in the fucking
teeth.
We had our monthly staff meeting. And my bosses through it would be a GREAT
idea to tackle the very THORNY topic of “Cultural Proficiency” – aka
Diversity. They covered the topic in one
of THEIR meetings and thus they thought it would be SO FUCKING AWESOME to have
the same topic at our meeting.
They started off by showing “The $100 Race” – which, if you
haven’t seen, you really should. It
explains, very visually, what White Privilege is. And I had such high hopes that this could be
a good open dialog about diversity.
But, as the guy who was doing the race, started listing off
the “privileges”….a lot of those, I don’t have.
So yeah, it was not pleasant to sit through that part…having the “deficiencies”
of my life listed off. Even though most
people do not know them…it still sucks sitting there, watching all those people
getting to take their steps forward in that race…knowing that I wouldn’t be
taking those steps forward. I would be
one of those at the back of the group….for the people in the front of the group
to look back on in pity.
THEN, comes the wonderful Bible verse at the end of the
video. Which, yes, it had some good
words of advice there…but it just serves to further alienate the religious
minorities. The same information could
have been imparted without the religious connotation.
And THEN. This is the
kicker here guys. THEN the bosses divide
us up into groups of three so we can “share” our diversity with our
coworkers. For a full minute we are to
talk about our “culture” – you could not be interrupted.
Um. No. Maybe if they had set up an inviting
atmosphere to SHOW that diversity would be respected. But I sure as shit was NOT getting that
feeling. And like, what am I supposed to
share about my culture? That I’m a
fucking Pagan? Yeah, I’m in the damn
Bible Belt working with CHILDREN. Hell
no I ain’t sharing that information widely and freely. Oh, how about my sexual orientation…because
that’s a “safe” topic right? Or mental
status? Yeah….no way in hell I am
discussing ANY of that with coworkers. While
they cannot fire me for any of the above…..they can find other things to drum
up instead. I sure as shit am NOT giving
them to tools to do so.
Kelly (the director) then mentions how she felt that growing
up, she didn’t have a culture. I wanted
so much to tell her that she DID have a culture. She just didn’t see it as “vibrant” because
it’s the dominant culture…and thus everyone toes the line to keep the dominant
culture happy. We all know the words and
the gestures of the dominant culture, even if we are not a part of it.
She then talked about Christmas break….and then said “Oops. That’s my cultural lens there”. To which Paula (a dear friend) grumbled “EVERYBODY
celebrates Christmas.” I pointed out
that NO. Not everyone celebrates
Christmas, and that there are 30+ holidays/holy days celebrated in the month of
December and that Christmas is but ONE of those. She grumbled that “No, everyone celebrates
Christmas. It’s not even a religious
holiday.”
I’m sorry, but just because YOU do not celebrate the
religious aspects of it does not remove the whole CHRIST-MAS of the name.
And then she said that “All have similar holidays during
this time as Christmas, so it’s all Christmas.”
Wow. Yeah, because let’s fucking
Christian-Wash all the damn holidays….even though Hanukkah is different AND
from a religion that DOES pre-date Christianity, we should just stamp it
Christmas and move along. ::shakes her
head:: Isn’t this the shit this “discussion”
was supposed to clear up?
And then, to make matters worse….Paula fucking OUTS me as a
Pagan to the other person in our group.
Let me be perfectly clear here.
If you know about someone’s “diversity” (such as culture,
religion, sexual orientation, health concerns…hell even political party could
be tossed in here in this current political atmosphere….etc.), you have NO
FUCKING RIGHT to out that person unless you have specific permission to do so,
or they have already outed themselves.
Even if that person is very open about it on their various social media
platforms. Even if that person is quite
open about it around most people. It is
still NOT YOUR PLACE to out someone.
Ever. E-V-E-R. I will say it again for those in the
back. NOT FUCKING OK EVER.
So yeah, at this point, I completely shut down. No good was coming of this, and I was being
asked to share information that I’m not comfortable sharing…especially NOT in a
group setting….and that goes double for WORK ENVIRONMENT.
Luckily we moved on at this point to discuss what we as
campus leaders would like to see occur at our All Staff Meeting in
January. The bosses wanted topics,
FORMAT on how that topic would be covered, AND asked for “volunteers” to lead
those classes. Like, what the fuck
already? What the hell are THEY doing
for this damn meeting? And if we are
putting in all the work for these stupid meetings, then I should be getting
their pay for those hours.
And at this point, I thought we were home free….but no. It gets better. One of the campus leaders said that she
thought it would be a GREAT idea if we did the exercise from “The $100 Race”
with all the staff present. I know she
means well….but holy fuck, are you SHITTING me?
They WANT to see that visual, to help them
understand the MASSIVE differences in privilege. But you know what? They are
sitting on the privilege side. And those of us who are NOT in the privilege
realm? We Are NOT Here To Be Your FUCKING Props.
If you cannot visualize how the differences in diversity can positively/negatively impact people....If you cannot SEE IT IN THE DAMN VIDEO THEY SHOWED US? Then there is no hope for you. You do NOT get to use people like pawns.
And a lot of those questions in the video, the ones that
allowed certain people to take 2 steps forward for each one that applied to
them? They are deeply personal
questions.
So while I can get behind the fact that they are recognizing
that diversity is very present in our society and it is something we all need
to better understand…the approach the bosses took made for an extremely hostile
environment. Just because I am different
from you, does not mean you can DEMAND that I put my “diversity” on display for
YOU. I do not OWE you any explanation of
my culture with you ON DEMAND…which is exactly what this whole “exercise” felt
like.
And I am currently angry….so fucking angry that I ended up
giving myself a tension migraine. Being late
to my campus due to all this bullshit and the fact that I didn’t have an
opportunity to even take 10 minutes to myself to calm down. Yeah, made for a shit-tastic work day. And then toss in that Kindergarten was having
their “Thanksgiving Program” – fuck, don’t even get me started on how
culturally insensitive their “Indian” artwork is to Native culture – which means
my cafeteria was all fucked up. So much
fucking rage.
By the time I got home, I was still SEETHING inside. I came home, wrote about it very vaguely on
Facebook, I was in such a rage, I didn’t know what do to with myself. I ended up Ugly Crying ™ for a solid 15
minutes.
I wish I had had the courage to speak up, to challenge each
and every part of this whole shit storm that needed challenging. Even on the parts that don’t apply to me, and
the fact that I DO benefit from White Privilege…I should be using the shielding
that White Privilege affords me to speak up for those it does NOT shield. And yet, I found myself just shocked into
silence. And if I felt that way….I can’t
even begin to imagine how those to have no White Privilege must feel. It truly was AWFUL.
I am debating what my next step will be….because this shit
cannot go unchallenged. And they sure as
HELL better NOT do that Race Challenge thing with the staff on the All Staff
Meeting. I don’t know if I should having
a meeting with Kelly (director of our program), or if I should just head
straight to HR. Because, I know for a
FACT that I am not the only one offended and alienated by today’s meeting. I guess it depends on how I am feeling about
it tomorrow morning. I have the form
needed to submit a Formal Complaint to HR.
I think I will fill it out and then decide tomorrow if I will send it in
or not. HR is super pushy about us
resolving our conflicts internally before bringing it to them. But I’m not sure I’m comfortable attempting
to broach the subject on my own.
And, to be kind….Paula did text me earlier this evening, to
apologize if any of her comments added to my feeling of alienation. That is huge in my opinion. I am glad she recognized how horrible the
situation was all around and that she did play a part in it. That is huge in my book.
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