Interview

written: November 6th

Photo for today:

 

Me after my interview. David picked out the top. I wish I could have gotten a better photo of it as the top really was pretty. It’s a light silvery gray. I even busted out the make-up. ::laughs:: I sent the photo to my Mom with the caption “Look Ma! No claws!” ::laughs:: The joke being that she gently brought up my various claw jewelry would most likely NOT be Interview Appropriate Attire ™. ::laughs:: Shit, my polar claw necklace cost more than the combined jewelry worn by Kelly and Esmeralda (no counting wedding rings).

So after my Samhain ritual, I came up with the idea to wrap up my Beloved Dead candle in a fabric wine bottle bag. I figured it would be long and slender, which would house the 7-day candle easily. I found one on Etsy that I liked and it arrived today. I should get a photo of it – it’s black satin with a silver trim at the top. It’s broader than I would have preferred, but unless I get my own sewing machine and make it myself, this will have to do for now. ::chuckles::

Man, this entry is so damn jumbled. My mood has taken a massive nosedive today after the interview. I swear, I needed a big ole nap after the interview. It honestly felt like I had an adrenaline dump during the interview, my anxiety spiked right before leaving the house to head to the interview. Once I was in the interview, I was fine. But damn, when it was over? I just wanted to go to sleep.
Gail (my current supervisor) sent out an email today, saying that Nov 10th would be her actual last day (instead of the 15th like her original email stated). Happy birthday to me! ::laughs:: Though, seriously, I almost kind of like her now.

That’s one of my biggest flaws, that I don’t know how to go about fixing. It takes a lot to truly piss me off. But once you’ve managed to do that? There is no forgive and forget. And yeah, last year, when Gail came out to my campus, throwing all the accusations at me (fed to her by a fucking SHITTY ass employee that had completely imploded another after school campus in our program), refusing to let me defend or even explain a damn thing, and then coming back out to threaten my ENTIRE staff that she should fire us……yeah, she earned some very deep-seated hatred and mistrust that day. But it sucks that one week of her temper-tantrums has burned that bridge between us to the ground and salted the earth around it.

And I get where she was coming from. I get that she was completely unprepared for this job, and no one gave her any sort of training. And I get that while she has her Ph.D. (serious hats off to that, because the Master’s program is kicking my butt – I cannot even imagine how brutal the Ph.D. program must be) and has taught at the high school level for years….but that’s a drastically different beast than working with elementary aged students. So yeah, I get why she felt that she had to come out and assert her dominance. I can even sympathize. And hell, I can even work respectfully with her this past year. No problem. But to actually TRUST her? To actually forgive her? Yeah, that shit is never coming.

Part of me wishes I could forgive and move on. And the louder part of me is screaming “Fuck her, she earned this!” ::chuckles::