Dallas Shootings

written July 8th

I tend to shy away from the “popular” topics of the day, but given that I do live very close to Dallas, I must write about the shooting that occurred last night…that has (thus far) claimed the lives of five police officers…with six more injured.

And I know this is going to sound horribly White of me, but until now, I didn’t really “get” the whole “Black Lives Matter”.  I mean, I understand the meaning behind it.  I understand that Blacks to face racism…rampant racism.  I know that they have entirely different interactions with law enforcement, something that, by my virtue of being a mostly White female (there is Native blood in these veins, but for all accounts and purposes, I am White), I do not have to worry about.  I understood the THOUGHT behind it….but not the emotion.  I could understand the rationale, but it wasn’t until last night, that I truly got it. 

And then hearing some of the horrible shit people….good people…were saying?  All this crap about “ALL Lives Matter” in retaliation to the “Black Lives Matter”.  How do people not understand how they are shitting all over the Blacks who are SUFFERING and DYING because of the racism that is still VERY present in our society?  

I made the mistake and clicked on one of the video’s showing the shooting and killing of Alton Sterling.  I thought myself deep enough in my sociopathology that it would be just like a movie.  But it wasn’t.  I couldn’t even make it through the entire 3 minute video.  I burst into tears…and I’m not a crier.  

And then the shooting last night.  And our oh so wonderful Lieutenant Governor publicly called the protestors last night “hypocrites” for running towards the police when the shootings began.  They were protesting the fact that police are more brutal and more lethal against Blacks.  But why should they not receive the same protection when disaster strikes?  Why are they exempt simply because they are asking the police to PROTECT instead of murder?  How does that make them hypocrites?

Most of the time, I am extremely proud to call myself a Texan.  I’m proud of the fact that this is where I was born and raised, and where I choose to reside.  But it’s days like today, that I’m utterly disheartened and disgusted by the things my fellow Texans say and do.  For such an amazing state (in my not so humble opinion), those in charge of this state?  Some of the most backwards, prejudice, most conservative individuals that want nothing more to take us back to the Dark Ages in all regards.

And I have hesitated writing on this topic, for fear that I would be one of those “condescending White women” who wrings their hands and wants to talk the talk…but does not walk the walk.  What can I do to help the situation?  Am I just making matter worse?  I worry that my race will be used against me.  Like, as a White woman, how can I possibly speak on this subject?

So I guess for now, simply admitting that I am only now beginning to understand the gross problem underlying the whole thing is a start.  Hopefully a start in the right direction.