All Fangs

written: April 3rd

Photo for today:



A Popple! One of my students brought it up today. I don’t see many of these awesome ‘80s toys. I just love them. I have one. I should post a photo of it. Crazy to think I got it back on my 5th birthday…so it will turn 31 years old in November. ::laughs:: I would love to get a few more. I don’t know why I adore these toys so much, but they simply make me happy. And I really could use a lot more of that. Shit, maybe I should get a Popple tattoo! ::cackles::

My custom made bone-blade spear is almost complete. All that is left is for Mr. Back to put the snake design on the blade.

But here are photos of it before the snake design:



Full length of the spear, end to end, is 64 inches.



I am not sure why I felt compelled to get it. Maybe to be a symbol of my inner warrioress. Maybe I like spears better than swords. Maybe I just wanted to splurge and have something nifty, something made especially for me, to my specifications. ::shrugs::

Maybe I am just feeling a bit lost in this moment. Most of the time, I am good. I know my Core. I know my Path…though I cannot see it. After all, if I could see it? That means someone else has already walked it. And thus it is not MY Path.

My Path is the trackless expanse. Not even a deer path through the underbrush. That is my job. It is my job to find my own True North and to follow it.

I am in a weird head space. A mix of equal parts wanting to Give Up and Turn Sheep, wanting to Burn it all To the Ground and Dance Around the Flames, and just Wanting to Curl Up and Sleep it All Away.

And yet, I know I will not turn back. I will not turn aside. I am a Wolf at heart, and I will keep tracking on. That is What and Who I am at my deepest core.

Forgive my ramblings here that may or may not make sense. I blame it on a very weird headache I have had most of today. It is like the residual brain-ache I get after a migraine, what I call echo-headaches because they aren’t really headaches – they don’t behave like typical headaches, and no medicine seems to touch them. It is like my brain recalls the pain of a migraine and that pain is “echoing” in my head, but isn’t a real pain – not sure how much sense THAT makes, but it is the best way I can describe it.

And on that rambly note, I think I will call it a night and stop writing for now. No worries, I will be back again tomorrow. Hopefully more coherent and less belligerent. ::chuckles:: But no promises on the less belligerent part. A leopard can’t change its spots. ::grins toothily::