Vodka

written:  October 04

Photo 552/1001



Dragon skin! It is shed skin from an adult Texas Spiny Lizard that I found in the backyard when I went to see how the bunnies are doing. Apparently, Momma bunny has moved them. I don’t blame her. The nest had to smell like Josey and me – two predators in her eyes. But I was so hoping to get cute bunny photos as the babies got older.

I am currently ADDICTED to sketchbook flip-through videos on YouTube. There are some wickedly talented artists out there, and the Scorpio in me just LOVES being allowed to look inside someone else’s journal/sketchbook.

Today…..was…..AWFUL at work.
I have no idea what happened to set off the BIC kiddo, but damn. It was BAD. He ran away and hid 4 different times in various classrooms. Threw things around in those classrooms. We had four of the Special Ed team, two of my aides, the counselor, AND the principal working to get him to calm down. And of course, I was down two aides (one was coming in at 4:30) and we were not given a sub. I was trying to get ahold of SOMEONE to get us another staff member to help out and BIC kiddo hit the disconnect button. The principal told me to call BIC kiddo’s dad. To his credit, dad showed up pretty quickly. And then my supervisor showed up to help out as well. That was GREATLY appreciated. We were all complete worn out by 3:40.

And add on top of the BIC kiddo, my Kinder with massive meltdowns came in with a Meltdown to End All Meltdowns. He was gagging at times because he was crying so hard. What was he so upset about? In his class, they have this cute lil bee backpack called Mr. Honeybee. Each day, the best behaved student gets to take the backpack home. Inside the backpack is a plush bumble bee and a journal that they get to write in, telling what they did with Mr. Honeybee that day. Meltdown Kiddo didn’t get it today. Even though he had it yesterday. But he was beyond inconsolable because he didn’t get it today. ::sighs::

And then my other special needs Kinder got bumped by a book as a student was turning around with it in her hand. He came and told me he got hit in the nose, so I talked to the other student who explained what had happened, that it barely grazed him, and that she apologized. So I told him he was ok. He decided to go over and punch her as hard as he could in the shoulder. ::shakes her head::

Yeah, I came home and started drinking. First drink was about 30% vodka and 70% Baileys. Drink #2 was about 70% vodka and 30% Baileys. Needless to say, I was happily buzzed by the time my husband got home. ::laughs:: So we ordered Dominos pizza and just stayed in, watching movies.

Seriously, today was so bad that it was either drink or cut. Something had to give. So I chose the lesser of the two evils and went with alcohol. Not the best coping mechanism, I know. But it’s worlds better than taking a blade to my skin again. I’ve been self-injurious behavior free going on 13 years and that’s not a streak I will break lightly at this point. Sometimes my stubbornness IS a blessing. ::chuckles::