Friday Blahs

written: January 5th

Well, I ended up not going to the zoo.  I have a whole bunch of Rational Reasons as to why I didn’t go, but it really just boils down to the fact that I really didn’t feel like driving over there.  ::shrugs::

Yeah, depression is really kicking my butt today.  I’ve been strongly encouraging a fellow blogger to seek counseling (she brought it up each time, and I just supported the endeavor of going)…hmmm, seems like I need to take my own damn advice.  So I’m torn now – do I seek counseling (when I’m 90% sure this is all due to a chemical imbalance), or do I attempt to find another psychiatrist (which the last two weren’t overly pleasant encounters) to get on some form of medication?

Honestly, the first step is that I need to contact my previous psychiatrist and request a list of the various medications he had me on during the course of my time with him.  I definitely have no desire to run that gauntlet again – especially with how poorly I reacted on the bulk of those medications.  I would also like to test for ADHD.  Even if it turns out that, yes, all my mental shenanigans are due to me being bipolar – it would be nice to know for sure if I do have ADHD, as it would explain so much.  ::shrugs::

Honestly, I would love to go see my general doctor and talk this all over with her.  But that’s an $80 doctor visit right off the bat.  Then whatever it would cost to see a psychologist…..and then double it (or really close to doubling the cost) to see a psychiatrist….and THEN I get to figure out how to pay for whatever meds I may get put on.  Dude, being poor WITH mental health issues isn’t any fun.

Oh, and let’s not forget that I have my yearly check up and cancer screening with my gyno at the end of the month.  I don’t think I have a copay for that.  But it always stresses me the fuck out.  And I want to talk to her about the various options out there for eliminating my periods….or at the very least, seriously cutting back on the horribleness of them.  Fuck man, I got my damn tubes tied, so I don’t really NEED a uterus or periods.  So let’s get rid of that shit please!

So, in less whiny mode, I’ve been having a blast scrolling through Pinterest for Pen Pal stuff to do.  ::chuckles::  I want to make a standard “letter of introduction” to use in my pen pal endeavors.  And I’ve been looking at various mail tags and mail art.  ::smiles::

And I’ve ordered my Letter Month Challenge postcards and stamps.  I’m trying to be prepared for next month!  ::smiles::

AND I’m currently working my way through Slavic Pagan World by Garry Green.  It’s interesting-ish.  I will admit that I scanned over the whole “spell” section and the “herb” section.  They just hold very little interest for me.