I have not celebrated Samhain yet. I just have so much on my mind and plate at
the moment, I barely feel like I can breathe at the moment. I am a bit deflated and upset with a very
nasty and grossly unprofessional encounter I had early this afternoon with the
local Post Office manager. And then
spending a solid 20 minutes on the phone with either the absolute dumbest
personal ever, or the most high, when lodging my official complain with the Postal
Office headquarters really soured my overall mood for the day.
And then tomorrow I am working at Starbucks, and THEN I am
babysitting for the Robinsons from 1 pm until 8 pm. It is really going to make for a long day
overall. But at least it's the calmer
shift at Starbucks (love those Sunday morning shifts to be honest), and the two
Robinson kids are awesome. So hopefully
it won't be too crazy.
I am hoping to do my Samhain celebration on Monday. It still falls close enough to the original
date to still be viable. I would rather
wait a few days and properly celebrate it and honor my Ancestors, then to
half-ass it on that date.
Once I get past Samhain, my birthday is looming on the
horizon. It's an interesting tug-of-war
between excitement and apprehension. I'm
swinging between being excited for everything that grad school is symbolizing
for me...and being utterly disappointed with how little I've
"accomplished" for being 33 years old.
I dunno why, but this year, I just feel like I should have
done more, should have been more. And
I'm not even sure what this "more" is that I'm supposed to have or
done...only that I haven't done enough. And
this is purely my internal feelings. No
one in my realm of friends or family has said and done one thing to make me
feel like this. Just me. Just being really introspective currently.
Maybe that's another reason I'm procrastinating on
celebrating Samhain. I'm not sure how I
will measure up in my Ancestors' eyes.
Especially since I've completely exploded on the genealogy front and
have a TON of names and locations now for my Ancestors.
Oh well. It will be
what it will be. There's no way to
please all the world. I have to do what
is right for me and my immediate family.
Everything else can fall to the wayside.
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