Good Friends

Photo 91/1001



SUSHI!!!!
To be more exact, this is TWO Dragon Rolls. Which, I learned…I cannot quite eat two entire Dragon Rolls. ::chuckles:: But it was damn fun trying!

The Arlington Gemstone and Mineral show was a bit of a bust. It was closer this year to me, at a slightly bigger venue, with a LOT more vendors….but the prices were so high. The Pyrite Sand Dollars that I saw last year for $20 were at least $40, if not more, this time around. So I didn’t get one and I’m a tad bummed, but it is what it is.

So, I’ll make note to set some extra money aside for next year. And I will be sure to go on Sunday instead of Saturday. While it was awesome to see so many families out enjoying it, there was just too many people there for me to really enjoy myself. I’m hoping that was mostly because I went on the first day – we’ll see what next year has in store.

And I just wanted to post the following, so I can keep it and remember it. Clint (a dear friend, also a fellow LARPer…honestly, he was the first friend I made up in college, so I’ve known him since 2000) reached out and sent this message to me in regards to my posts on Facebook concerning the death of one of my former students:

Yo. Saw your post. That has to be heart wrenching. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose a child. People say that all the time and while they probably mean well, it is something of platitude I think. You had a hand in shaping this man’s life, so you probably feel this more than what a random commenter on FB ever could. I wish I had some advice to give out, something that would give a good perspective. I don’t. I have stared down some hard stuff and all I can say is that I know you are doing that now. Maybe the only real perspective I can offer isn’t about what is missing now. Maybe the thing you might find in the pain of this lose is that since you hurt, you cared. Since you cared, you made an impact. If you made an impact there, you are probably making an impact still with someone else. I don’t know what happened to that young man, I hope his loss isn’t further compounded by some kind of darkness. Regardless though, If my opinion helps orient your thoughts. meditate on the impact you are making now and focus on the light you are bringing.

It was everything I could do to NOT just bawl my eyes out at his kind words. Shit, if we are being real, just rereading it right now is bring tears to my eyes again. ::smiles::

Which, now really has me looking long and hard at my friends. They say tough times will show you clearly, who you CAN and CANNOT depend on. And Paula is not only someone I CANNOT depend on, but she’s also someone who, more times than naught, tends to say the most ignorant and therefore hurtful things. I don’t feel that she does this on purpose, but holy hell, she has one of the biggest issues with what I call WASP Privilege (White Anglo Saxon Protestant). Because she can be so open about just about anything in her life without repercussions, she cannot even begin to understand that not everyone has that same privilege. I got a BIG dose of that back in December when we had our “amazing” diversity meeting (holy hell, it was bloody AWFUL) and she fucking outed me about being Pagan to a coworker AS I WAS PROTESTING EVEN BEING INVOLVED IN THE “CONVERSATION”. She’s made constant comments about how we should all get along and how there shouldn’t be division marking “Black Rights, Women’s Rights, Trans’ Rights, etc” – we are all human, so we should all be the same. I pointed out that doing so turns a blind eye to the special challenges that each of those various minority groups face and she came back with how she “totally understands” that and wants everyone to be “unique” because “you people are like pieces of artwork”. Which, I know she means well, but I pointed out that it doesn’t feel like to be associated with an inanimate object like that, especially since by her own language she doesn’t see herself as a part of that group. ::shakes her head::

I am very selective in who I include in my various circles of friends. And this type of behavior, this type of mindset? I can’t tolerate it. And I don’t have to. But since we are coworkers, it does make the situation a little sticker than usual. So for now, I’m just limiting everything she can see on my FB page and completely unfollowing her. That will have to do for the following school year, because we’re coworkers. But once I part ways with the after school program, she will be unfriended and blocked on FaceBook. Seeing how that goes, I may have to block her from my cell as well. Just depends on how quickly she notices that she’s been removed from my FB world.

FunDay

written: June 29

Photo 90/1001



Watermelon margarita at On the Border. Though I’m pretty sure the watermelon only made up 10% of the drink. They made it STRONG.

David and I both had today off (he has to work this weekend though). We got his car inspected and then did a late lunch at On the Border. So damn good. Then it was back home for what turned out to be a family nap. ::chuckles:: And then a nice, quiet, relaxing day at home.

Hazel has cancelled two plans with me. Well, technically, I cancelled our plans to get together last night. She had to get stuff together with her step-mother for her father’s upcoming 50th birthday, so she wanted to get together at 8:45 pm. I was actually planning on being close to done with our ritual by that point, so I opted out. And then she text me today that she wouldn’t be able to go with me to the Arlington Gemstone and Mineral show this weekend.

Which I get, and completely understand. It still just sucks. But I’m still going. I am hoping to pick up a Pyrite Sand Dollar. They look like sun bursts and I want one to put Sekhmet’s statue on while it’s on the altar. I figured it would be a nice gift to Her. ::smiles:: And sushi may, or may not happen as well. All in all, a damn good start to this 3-day weekend.

Thankful Thursday

written: June 28

Photo 89/1001



Rose buds. I think this is blooming Round #3? I have kind of lost count now. I really need to retreat her for black-spot and fertilize her again.

I am thankful…
1. A nice pay raise at the Summer Tech Job. Thank all that is holy for that!
2. Roses are blooming, and the crepe myrtle is doing beautifully well.
3. The Spartan Mosquito eradicators seem to be doing a damn good job keeping the mosquito population down in our yard. I will certainly be buying it again for next year and setting it up in March (which is when they recommend we put them out for our area).
4. Good, quick check up appointment with my gyno. Everything checks out from my ablation procedure. Hurray!
5. All the amazing eye-candy I had at work this week. I hope it continues. ::chuckles and winks::
6. Hazel igniting my desire to do a new initiation and a new name to celebrate my new change in life (aka, no more periods for me).
7. Seeing interesting wildlife during my trip to my gyno and back – saw prairie dogs and elk this time around.
8. Beautiful Full Moon.
9. Really coming into greater confidence in my path and my practice. ::smiles::
10. Catching up with another former students’ mom (I had all three of her children in my after school program). She says that Sam (her son, and the youngest) is always asking to come up and visit me at the after school program. I told her by all means, tell him to come visit. He was another one of my favorites and I love having him come visit.

Shit Day

written: June 27

Photo 88/1001



Cute little Koala bear I drew on a sticky note pad on Jennifer’s desk. I was so damn bored there in the back for about two hours. They needed me to cover the back (where people come to drop off their iPads and laptops to get repaired, or to turn them in if they are leaving the district), because there was a funeral today for one of the Techs who passed away suddenly last week.

Today was shit day to be honest.
One of the Techs that I kind-of-sort-of-knew-ish passed away suddenly last Thursday. Today was her funeral – which I didn’t go to but a lot of the Tech Department did. So when I got home today, I thought I would see if I could find her obituary. Instead, I came across the obit for one my former students.

It seriously hit me right in the gut and knocked all of the air out of my lungs. Christian was one of my favorites. He has his issues (as all of my favorites tend to), but it seemed like things were just starting to turn around for him. He had just graduated high school earlier this month and had decided on attending one of the local junior colleges. He had bad anxiety so him going to college was a big thing. The last thing he posted on his Facebook page was gushing about how inviting and warm the college was and how he was so excited about joining that community in the Fall. But he died in a car crash Sunday.

And so I posted on Facebook about being heartbroken and how much it sucks to be looking for a coworker’s obituary and instead find one for one of your students. And Paula, bless her fucking lil heart, commented something along the lines of “Ew.” I shit you not. And then went on to talk about how death is on the rise for the US due to all the stressors we’re currently under.

Which, let’s break this shit down real quick. What the FUCK would ever possess a person to write “Ew” on a post about the death of a student??????

As for the second part, ok, I didn’t come out and say the age of my student or any other identifying info, but what the fuck? I’m sure death from chronic illnesses, stress related illnesses, and mental illnesses are certainly on the rise in our nation at the moment….but how the fuck does that have ONE GODDAMN THING to do with my post?

I was coming to my friends in Facebook for solace. I had tears rolling down my face. And this is the shit she posts? Like are you for fucking real? And this isn’t the first time she’s gone off on some wild direction, vastly different from what I needed. I just wanted to call her and scream at her on the phone about her fucking insensitive comment. And it just boggles my mind, because most of the time, she’s SUPER sensitive to these things.

I just don’t know where this is coming from with her. She works the same after school program I do (she’s a sub, so she goes to a lot of different campuses). And she’s really good at her job. But that fucking comment? Christ, if she had done that in person, I would have probably backhanded her before I even realized I had moved.

And what shocks me is how similar Paula and I are on a lot of things, and yet she was beyond insensitive on this. And then Keith pops up saying how I look like the new Bachelorette and we start our standard banter of him telling me I’m hot and me trying to get him to bring me the Bachelorette for some fun. And at the end of it, before he heads to bed, he’s like “I hope I made you smile after getting such crappy news today.” And we are polar opposites on a lot of shit politically…and yet, he knew I was hurting and found a way to cheer me up for a bit. And that’s a true friend. Well, a true friend probably wouldn’t be constantly joking about trying to sleep with me. But that’s just the weird, unique friendship Keith and I have.

And yes, Keith and I dated way back in the day. We’ve been friend since 2000? 2001? We LARPed together (Live Action Role Playing) since then. We’ve been lovers (honestly, he was one of the shittiest lays) way back when. I’m married. He’s been married, divorced, married again with a kiddo now. So it’s not like anything will ever happen. Even if we were both single. I’m seriously about him being a shitty lover. ::laughs:: My nickname for him (that he didn’t know about) was the jackhammer because that’s what he did for about 8 minutes and nothing else. ::cackles::

Clean Slate

written: June 26

Photo 87/1001



Josey and her swiss cheese tiger blanket. She chews up any of the blankets in her kennel, but this one she had to drag out to chew it near me. ::laughs:: And you can see a tiny section of her bone collection in the background.

So I had a great post-op appointment with my Gyno today. She cracks me up. She said everything looks good and I’m now “cleared for legal activities”. ::laughs::

I then drove back to my lil hometown to get lunch at the best fried chicken place EVER. And then it was the drive back home to the metroplex. Sooooooooo much driving today.

Hazel and I had talked yesterday, while I was driving down to my hometown and she mentioned that she wanted to do a celebration of my new transformation (aka, good-bye Aunt Flo) which really got me to thinking about that as well. It is a big change and something I should do something to celebrate it. Honestly, I’m really itching for a whole new initiation and a new magickal name. I want a ritual to celebrate my choice to follow the path of the Warrioress instead of the Mother. I want a bad ass warrior name. Obviously, I can’t plan all of this out and get everything together in time for the upcoming full moon (Thursday), but I can certainly start planning it. I’m sure the new name and the date will come to me at some point. ::smiles:: So that’s in the works.

I decided to take Josey for a walk even though it was in the triple digits. Once back home, I decided to go ahead a hop on the elliptical and banged out 15 minutes on that. I know I’m going to feel that tomorrow, but for right now, it felt AMAZING. I feel like I finally have a handle on my life. It’s amazing how much it truly feels like a MASSIVE weight has been lifted off of me. I can breathe. I dunno. I feel LIBERATED to be honest. Like I can grab Life by the throat and shake it good.

Surrounded by Hotness

written: June 25

Photo 86/1001



It’s hard to get a decent photo of my blue hair. I really need to touch up the blue as it’s really starting to fade out. Don’t get me wrong – I like my mermaid hair. But I would like it better if it was all blue again instead of fading into greens in places. ::chuckles::

I drove to my little hometown tonight. I have my appointment with the Gyno tomorrow for my post-op follow up. Mom’s out of the state currently, but luckily the window unit in the guest bedroom works might well, because my Momma don’t run the a/c most of the time. ::laughs:: And I’m terrible spoiled with the a/c.

I expect tomorrow’s appointment will go very well. I do plan to ask about the nausea from the anesthesia and what we can do about it for any future procedures. But other than that, I don’t really have any questions for her.

Holy crap, I have been absolutely inundated with sexy, bearded, tattoo-ed men today. I’m talking full sleeves tattoos. All over the damn place. It was getting hard to breathe with all the rampant sexiness going on at work. My focus certainly was all over the place! ::laughs:: Hell, there’s a guy that works with us…he’s older than my husband, but also ex-military (Army as well). And while he isn’t anything to be fawning over in the looks-department…his voice is so mellow and smooth…like fucking silk. All I wanted to do today was hear him laugh because I could only imagine what that would sound like.

Hell, I’m probably ovulating, which has my hormones all ramped the fuck up. These men have no idea how hot and bothered I was all damn day around them. And for whatever reason, they all needed to come talk to me multiple times throughout the day. Like I would just begin to get my lust under control and here would some new stud muffin to ask me a question. ::laughs::

Gyno better give me the all clear tomorrow because I apparently REALLY need to get laid! ::laughs:: The safety and well-being of some of my male coworkers depends on it!

Spinning

Photo 85



After an entire year since they were rudely torn up due to a busted water pipe, it seems my Wandering Jew plant is making a comeback. Yay! So when I water the iris plants, I make sure this little guy gets some water as well.

I’ve been in a funky head space for a few days now. Mostly pondering some shit that went down at work on Thursday with a male coworker who has ZERO filter. It’s like every little thought that goes through his head, he says it out loud with zero thought as to how it will be received. And talking to the other two high schoolers working with us that day, apparently this is just par for the course for this one. ::shakes her head::

I’m also in a highly confrontational mood. ::sighs:: Honestly, I am spending too much time on Facebook and I just can’t stomach the New Horrible Things ™ our government is doing. And I can’t stomach the reactions to it that people are sharing, bold as brass. I really just need to take a break from it all.

I finished reading An Exorcist Tells His Story, by Gabriele Amorth. Apparently, from his interactions with witches and sorcerers over in Italy, that is THE PLACE to make some serious money. He claims that our simple charms for health and luck, Italians will pay $5k MINIMUM for them! Shit, if that’s true, I need to go visit for like 2 months and I can get myself completely out of debt! And apparently “African or Brazilian Witch Doctors” (his terminology) in Italy outnumber Italians like 4 to 1, so I can only imagine how easy it would be to find a teacher of those arts there in Italy, as I’m selling my simple charms and magick for $5k. Interesting that in the heart of the Catholic empire, that’s where witchcraft is apparently doing BOOMING business. ::chuckles::

Speaking of witchcraft – I didn’t do shit for Litha (Summer Solstice). I had vague ideas to do something, but it never manifested. And honestly, I really like my blue altar cloth and didn’t want to swap it out for something fiery at this time. And, even more honestly, I was too lazy to do so. I really need to remind myself that I don’t actually have to DO anything. It’s not like I follow the pagan Wheel of the Year mythos at all. Instead, I should take those holy days as a day to reconnect with the natural cycles of the earth and my own life.

Full moon is coming up (Thursday). If nothing else, I would like to do some Oracle card reading. I really do like my Jade Oracle card deck. Maybe I can get together with Hazel and do a reading for her as well? She tends to do the readings most of the time – ok, she’s ALWAYS done the readings. ::laughs:: Hopefully, we can get together and just hang out if nothing else. I kind of feel like I’m just spinning my wheels, spiritually, at the moment.