American Mythos

written: July 7th

I have been watching Ghost Adventures on Netflix lately and I had forgotten how bad it really is.  Don't get my wrong -- I certainly adore the eye candy (Zack Bagans), but the show is simply pure dramatics.  I watch it like one would watch a soap opera -- simply for amusement, but not for anything even remotely regarded as intellect.

I don't know.  Maybe Ghost Hunters (another paranormal investigation tv series) has me completely jaded.  But I find it extremely difficult to believe that every single place Ghost Adventures investigated is always haunted.  I liked that about Ghost Hunters -- they had no problem admitting they found nothing if that's how it really was.

And Ghost Adventures loves their "demonic entities".  If they hear a growl -- it is from a demonic entity.  If they heard a whispered threat -- it's from a demonic entity.  Oh, you heard the voice of a child?  Nope -- that's actually a demonic entity trying to trick you.  They have such a one-sided view of demons.  Now I don't have much experience with demons/daemons.  I honestly avoid them as I do angels -- way too Christian for me.  But what dealings I have had with them, they seem to have better things to do than to lounge around some run-down building, waiting for some people to show up, just so the demons/daemons can growl at them (very quietly, mind you), scratch them, and whisper death threats.  Granted, I'm not sure what exactly demons/daemons do with all their free time, but attacking Zak, Nick, and Aaron on Ghost Adventures just does not seem all that plausible. 

Oooh, I just came up with a great idea for a drinking game!  Every time Zak says "demonic", you take a shot.  Every time one of the three get light-headed, take a shot.  Every time they say "dude" or "bro" or "wow", take a shot.  Of course, you chose one or two of these options for the drinking game.  I certainly wouldn't recommend attempting all three.  You wouldn't make it through the hour long episode.  ::laughs::  Unless you are drinking non-alcoholic drinks.

And I adore Zak's fascination with blaming all "demonic entities" they encounter across the US on operating "Satanic groups".  Yeah, because Zak still believes, and continues to perpetuate, the (very untrue) myth that Satanists worship and invoke demons and/or Satan.  ::sighs::  Talk about making my eyes roll.  But I know there would be a huge outcry from the public if Zak told the truth -- breaking from the acceptable myth of Satanists, so I guess I can't really fault him.  He's an entertainer, and as an entertainer, his livelihood is directly tied to the public's approval.  So he can ill-afford to rock the boat.

But I do wish more people would challenge the myth.  I wish the truth would come out and more people knew what Satanists were really all about.  Now, I will admit that I don't know a ton about Satanism, but I know enough not to believe all the media hype and myth.  I just wish people were more open to learning about and understanding religions beyond just their own.  I wish they wouldn't accept the Hollywood hype as fact surrounding Satanism, Witchcraft, Paganism, Voodoo, and any other Occult-based religions and/or philosophies. 

Maybe this is all just wishful thinking.....

Masters and Wolves

written: July 6th

So I finally set up a meeting with the University of North Texas to discuss the possibility of me going to grad school for a Master's degree in Librarian and Information Sciences.  It always takes me a while to actually act on such plans (I have been talking about this for a few years now and am just now taking concrete steps).  Especially ones that require me to step out of my comfort zone.  And given that I finished my bachelor's degree TEN years ago, going back to college is a bit daunting.  Not to mention it's for a MASTER'S degree!  But I figured since I am delving into actively studying for the GRE, I should get all the necessary information for the actual program before I just jump right in.  I am trying to Look before I Leap here.  But at the same time, I'm trying not to super procrastinate, all the while claiming that I am just being "cautious" or "gathering more information", all the while NOT doing a damn thing.

So hopefully this meeting with the University will be able to fully answer all my concerns and give me a realistic game plan for this next phase of my life.  I have had an amazing run in child care, and I will definitely be sad to close the door on that, but I am ready for a change.  In September of this year, I will have completed nineteen years in child care.  A truly amazing feat given that I am only 33 years old.  Yep, been doing this shit since I was 15. Craziness.

The Tech Job is truly testing my patience (and it's a test I believe I am doomed to FAIL).  A co-worker, Christina (not to be confused with my assistant store manage at Starbucks), while a very kind and caring woman, irritates the ever loving SHIT out of me.  I hate passive speakers and she is one of the worst.  She ends almost every single sentence with "you know"?  And then she waits for you to respond.  Most of her comments that end with her " you know?" don't actually require a response, but because she ends it with "you know?" and the rising inflection in her voice that turns what should just be a simple statement into a question, and the fact that she stares at you all expectant afterwards, it kind of forces you to respond.  And that, I just hate.  Don't force me to respond.  I would rather stay quiet and simply nod my head if your statement truly does not require a response from me than to feel guilt-tripped into spewing more verbal garbage just to make you feel better.  I am not one of those people who have to keep a running verbal dialog of every little thought that pops into my head.  Hell, I learned a long time ago that very few people, if any, want to hear every single thought that runs through my head.  But then again, most of my thoughts are raunchy, offensive, and/or violent.  ::laughs::  Maybe that is why I tend to keep my thoughts to myself?

Maybe it is also because I am a Wolf among the Lambs -- my thoughts and beliefs are typically vastly different fro the rest of the herd.  And I learned young what it is like to be feared, and thus shunned, from the flock.  I make them quite uncomfortable because I question everything.  I challenge everything.  And that has ruffled a lot of feathers.

Hanging with the Harpies

written: July 5th

Ever since the Harpies have shown up in my life, I have been rather curious as to their purpose in choosing me. I certainly did not go looking for them. And they had to work to get me to look past the most common (“modern” – they stress) understanding of them – as vengeful, wrathful, and very dangerous beings. While they do not deny that aspect of themselves, they stress that their original roots are as storm deities/spirits. But once we arrived at this point of understanding and mutual respect, they have quieted down and I am left sitting here, twiddling my thumbs, wondering where we go from here. I have called on them for protection and justice, and they are more than happy to come to my aid. And I have made offerings to them during various storms, but other than that, they have just been perched here, watching.

But tonight, they perked up. I guess the fact that I have cut the Thorny Perch (a branch from a Black Locust tree) for them, and I have made the War Water, as they requested – they realize I am quite willing to work with them now.

So I was soaking in the bath (using a sample of “Fearless” bath salts from SageGoddess) because my hips and knees are just solid, aching pain centers, and I started bottoming out mentally. The whole woe-is-me, my-life-sucks type of mentality. And I was really starting to wallow down deeper and deeper into it – the running loop of how I am broken and crazy and how damaged this makes me.

And that is when I heard the laughter. Talk about completely jarring. ::laughs:: Which was their intent. They flocked around me and just grinned at me, so completely amused. And then began the peppering of questions. Why was I depressed? What was making me depressed? Why? How could I fix the stimuli that is triggering the depressed thoughts? So why not get off my ass and fix that? Am I honestly depressed? Or am I just wanting to be? ::laughs:: Damn, do they know how to cut to the heart of the matter.

Needless to say, I did not stay and continue wallowing. ::laughs:: Damn Harpies and their logic. Though to be honest, it did snap me out of the self-loathing cycle there. And once I realized that I had full control of this depressive moment and I could choose to continue wallowing or I could let all that bullshit go – I chose to let it go. Not 100% my choice. ::laughs:: I’m sure if I had chosen to continue wallowing, they would have continued “harping”. But it was nice to get that boot up my ass, to stop willingly travel down this road. I am not saying that I can fully control every single one of my depressive episodes, but maybe they are not as prolific nor as strong as I originally believed.

So what are Harpies good for? Surprisingly enough, beyond being the harbingers of storms and the bringers of justice, they are amazingly gifted at busting up depressive moods.

So yes, I work with the Harpies. Yes they can be quite scary and intimidating. But they are awe-inspiring in their fierceness. And I have the very distinct feeling that once you have earned their loyalty and respect, it is an eternal thing.

July's Full Moon Altar

July’s Full Moon altar:

Explanation:
- black and white altar cloth (the standard I use for any of the Moon/Esbat rituals…to me it symbolizes all aspects of the ever changing moon from full white to new black).
- Sekhmet statue (because She is always present in any of my rituals), accompanied by Her garnet chip necklace looped around the base of the statue plus Her carnelian heart, large tumbled garnet, and lion’s claw.
- Her red candle
- silver version of the sun candle holder/vase (gift from my sister-in-law) holding my two newest feathers
- mason jar with the War Water I’m making for the Harpies
- white candle for the Moon
- Selenite sphere (symbolizes the Moon)
- my Drum and drum beater that I made in May
- incense holder and Antique Sandalwood incense (and damn is that stuff strong)

I really like how this altar turned out. The red wasn’t planned on, but developed as I added the things I needed/wanted to the altar. I like how it draws the eye across the altar.

Typically, I don’t invoke any deity for Full Moon rituals (also called Esbats). For me, the Full Moon is a time to just sit back and enjoy the beauty and splendor of the natural world. Very few things are as calming and breath-taking as a full moon rising. I long for a house where I can sit, light some incense, and drink a glass of wine while watching the full moon rise.

So, while I don’t necessarily invoke a deity or spirit for the Esbat, I do talk to them as needed. I lit Sekhmet’s candle and gave Her a spiritual nod, but didn’t call Her down to attend the ritual itself. I left the invitation open-ended. If She wanted to watch or participate, She was more than welcome, but I didn’t require Her for anything in the actual ritual.

I also gave a spiritual nod to the Harpies, as I smudged the War Water jar down (smudging is where you waft the incense smoke over an item…it clears the item of any energies it may be holding and allows you to purposely charge it with an intention). The War Water isn’t being made with anything specifically in mind, other than the Harpies want it. Generally War Water is considered a hex, as you can use it to banish people and entities. But for now, it’s simply something the Harpies have requested I make. I’m sure I’ll dab some of the War Water on their thorny perch (what I’m calling the rod/wand they had me cut from a Black Locust tree).

Mostly, this full moon ritual was just me smudging down all the items on the altar and claiming them as my own. Charging them with the purpose of being used in my magickal and spiritual rituals and ceremonies. I cleared them of any energies they may have picked up from other people in their travels to me. I also offer incense to all of the Sekhmet statues I have plus the portrait I have of Her. And then, because the incense was so strong, I took it out on the balcony to finish burning out there.

The whole thing took less than 20 minutes, but I’m not big on the huge, drawn out ceremonies. I did what I needed to do and there wasn’t really any reason to draw it out further. Short, sweet, and to the point. ::smiles::

Litha Altar

written: July 3rd

My Litha Altar (recreated for the photo):

This is my altar for Litha, the Summer Solstice, back on June 21st.

Explaining my altar:
- Yellow altar cloth (it’s a nice scarf I picked up on eBay)…yellow for the sun.
- All three of my Sekhmet statues. Given that today is a day that traditionally celebrates the Sun’s power, strength, and gifts, I thought it only fitting to really celebrate my Lion-headed goddess…who is the personification of the Sun.
- The red “saint” candle is Sekhmet’s. Red is Her sacred color.
- Yellow, orange, and red candle is a Litha candle I purchased on Etsy specifically for this holy day. It has a nice aroma.
- The yellow/gold candle holder/vase in front of the Litha candle was given to me by my sister-in-law. I thought the pattern on it and the color made it a perfect sun symbol.
- Yellow flowers from my wooded trails.
- Bird feathers…simply gifts from nature that looked very nice on my altar.
- In front of the golden Sekhmet on the left is the beaded sun catcher ornament I made in celebration of the sun. For being my first time EVER working with wire and beads, I think it turned out quite nice.
- Carnelian heart, large tumbled Garnet, and a Lion’s claw are at the base of the golden Sekhmet statue…all offerings to Her.

Litha is the longest day (and thus, shortest night) of the year. Supposedly from here on out, the days will get shorter. Litha is supposed to be the height of the sun....but here in Texas, summer is just gearing up. Our hottest days are still over a month away. So it does present a challenge on how to celebrate it in a way that resonates with me. Traditional Wicca heralds this day as the Goddess is heavy with child and the God is at his strongest. Given that motherhood plays no role in my life…nor does a god…I reject this traditional view.

Instead, I spent the day lounging in the pool, basking in the sun’s heat and warmth. I spoke openly with Sekhmet, thanking Her for all the blessings (and challenges…She loves disguising blessings in the heart of a good challenge) I’ve enjoyed thus far this year. I told her about my own plans for the rest of the year and asked for guidance and blessings in those endeavors.

The beaded sun catcher ornament turned out quite well.

I started with a reddish brown 20 gauge wire. The bottom crystal is a crystal glass faceted bean (18 x 23 mm). On the wire, I strung garnet beads (round, 8 mm), glass donut amber mix beads (3 x 6 mm), and real amber chips (that I have had for YEARS).

I certainly have a lot to learn on wire working, but really enjoyed myself. I can certainly see myself making more in the future. Yule specifically comes to mind.

Moons, Altars, and To-Do

Today is the Full Buck/Hay/Stag/Storm Moon.  I'm sure I'm missing some of the other names.  Each full moon has a ton of names, depending on the location in the world and what is going on at that time of the year.  I really should work out what names resonate the best with me and my location.  I say that all the time, but never actually get around to it.  Maybe I should make that a goal for this month.

Anyways, back to July's Full Moon.  I need to set up an altar for it.  My altar is still set up for Litha (the Summer Solstice from June 21st).  I never did get a photo of that altar -- which is a shame because I really liked how it turned out.  I should get some more of the yellow flowers from my wooded trail (it's the only thing the Litha altar is currently missing) and take a quick picture, and then set up for the Full Moon.

I should put together an "Altar Binder" of some sort.  I would include the photo of the altar, what it is celebrating/honoring, and a write up of what is on the altar and why.  Then I could use that as inspiration and information for future altars.  That way I can keep up with the various altar ideas throughout the year that I come across.  I would use a binder so I could keep all the altars together.  Like all the Litha altars, or Samhain altars, or the various Esbat (Full Moon) altars.  And I could add in various inspirations I find from what other people do with their altars as well.  Sounds like another fun project for the summer.  If nothing else, I should be able to get all the altars done for this year.  After that, I could take my time adding in previous years' altars.

So anyways, back (again) to today's Full Moon!  I'm not even sure what the correspondences for this particular full moon are -- which honestly, now that I think about it, is a good thing.  I feel I am getting too hung up on what other people say.  Instead, I should focus on what I need or want to do.

I want to bless and awaken my drum.  I'm hoping to learn its name after I have officially woke it up.  I also need to bless the war water I am making for the Harpies.  Plus I guess I could bless their altar/wand/rod thing.  I wish they would name the damn thing already and let me know what they want done with it.

I should probably go ahead and bless my new feathers as well.  I also need to get good photos of them (plus the rest of my feather collection while I'm at it) and document the type of feather they are.  Because I am a complete and utter dork that way.  ::laughs::

I could also bless and charge the new money bills I have in my Polar Bear box.  I know there are quite a few I haven't marked with the money rune or the vetiver oil (it's a wealth attracting oil).  And then I'll need to pull out what I plan to deposit into my actual savings account.  I keep $1000 in the box, to help attract more money towards my trip, but the rest need to be in the bank for safe keeping!

NaJoWriMo & Animal Inventory

written: July 1st

 

Today begins the second round of the National Journal Writing Month challenge (or NaJoWriMo for short).  Last time I agreed to do 15,000 words, writing every day, AND chose the topic "spirituality".  And that completely kicked my ass.  This time around I'm just going with the 15,000 words for the month.  That averages out to around 484 words a day, which is more than doable.  I'm not choosing a theme this time.  Just going to go with the flow and see where my Muse takes me.

The coyotes have returned to my wooded area.  I heard two or three singing last Thursday morning and then was lucky enough to spot one Friday morning as I left to go to work at Starbucks in the early morning.  I was hoping this mean the hobo couple in the woods had moved on, but I saw them yesterday while walking Ole Lady Dog (aka Holly).  ::sighs::  I really wish they would move on.  I don't like them or all the litter they leave in the woods.  I swear they haven't thrown one single trash item into any one of the THREE trash cans the city maintains along the wooded trails.  Beyond disgusting.

Cottontail rabbits have been in an abundance everywhere.  I'm spotting them all over the city.  All the rain we've received this year has made the grasses and plant-life BOOM and the rabbits are taking full advantage.

Momma Raccoon has been visiting the dumpster again.  But she no longer has her four kits trailing along behind her.  They must have struck out on their own by now.  She seems less nervous/anxious and leisurely eats now.  I'm sure she's grateful for the break.

My Lil Hawklings have fully fledged now and very rarely come back to the nest.  They will stick around a while longer before completely striking out on their own.  So for now, I enjoy watching all four soaring around my wooded area.

I seriously love the location of my apartment.  Close enough to all the various stores a person needs or wants, but surrounded by awesome little wild patches that keep my heart and soul thrilled and happy.  And my wooded areas are chocked full of a wide array of animal life.  I will sincerely miss my wooded areas when we finally do move.  But hopefully we can get a house with a similar area.

I need to get back to studying for the GRE.  When I start going to my Masters program full time, I will be quitting my Starbucks job.  I am so looking forward to that!  I will certainly miss the various perks (free weekly coffee and the employee discount) and most of my coworkers, but I will certainly not miss the job itself.

Hopefully I can bang the Masters degree out in two to three years and then I can get a full-time, much better paying job with great benefits.  And then my dreams of owning a house, being debt-free, and finally seeing my wild polar bears can finally come true!  ::grins::